Obedience: Compliance with an order or request.
Obedience. For the past few days I have been seeing and hearing the word “obedience” everywhere. Even read a past journal entry this morning that referenced obedience. From past experience, I know that when something rings this loudly in my thoughts and surroundings, it’s a message. And to be completely honest (transparent) obedience is something I have been struggling with lately. Not necessarily being obedient to God now, but thinking about past requests for obedience that I obeyed and am now feeling somewhat out of place. However, the flip side of actually following through with the request is I feel more free and at peace. Weird, huh? Here’s an example.
Moment of Transparency:
One of my most recent struggles has been with Twitter. If you have read any of my past blogs over the years, you know that I have multiple accounts on multiple social media platforms. I know it may seem odd to have so many accounts, but for me, it’s my way of compartmentalizing the content I share. To me, it just makes sense to have multiple accounts. Anyway, I have had this one Twitter account for a little over eight years now that I have been struggling with letting go. The message I have gotten from God over the past few years has been to let it go, but for some reason, I can’t completely do it. Maybe it’s the memories, the connections, the friendships (virtual friendships) or the history that has me attached. Giving it up feels like I’m giving up a piece of me or eight years of memories. And y’all, the only thing I was asked to do was to log off. I wasn’t asked to delete it, just log off. Simple, right? Not really.
Well, at the end of last year, I was finally obedient and logged off. I did great for a while. Then a new movie came out that I really wanted to tweet about but couldn’t because I was no longer on that account. Although I shared a few tweets from one of my other accounts, it wasn’t the same. And y’all, my shows were getting so good! All I thought about was tweeting, but couldn’t. Talk about agony!
Honestly, logging off was one of the best things I could have done. It was so freeing. I felt so much lighter. What I didn’t realize then, which I do now, is that I was addicted to that account. Not Twitter, but that particular account. I couldn’t function without constantly checking it. Even when my mind wasn’t thinking about tweeting, my finger would find the Twitter app, open it and mindlessly scroll down my timeline. Y’all, it was really bad! And I know what had me addicted. It was the constant interaction and feedback I received; and when I didn’t get it, I would feel ignored or rejected. So I would tweet until I got the response I desired. Ha! Can’t get any more transparent than this, right? (Smile) Listen, I was a mess. I had to log off. It was so necessary. Y’all, my mental and emotional well-being was in jeopardy!
A couple of months ago, I decided to log back on to start sharing my quotes. So far things are going well. Confession– I have shared a few tweets outside of my quotes but I haven’t engaged in any tweeting activities. Yesterday, I was reading tweets that had been shared on Instagram. One post encouraged followers to LIVE tweet during the shows, which was something I used to do. Y’all, there’s nothing like LIVE tweeting. Anyway, after seeing the posts, I began feeling sad because I missed the action. I missed the conversations. I missed my people. I was so tempted to go back and pick up like I never left. But I couldn’t. Y’all, I never want to feel that weight of addiction again. It was too much!
Obedience. Fortunately, I can say the only thing I actually lost from being obedient was the addiction. The true connections and bonds I made over the years, as well as the memories I’ve created, still remain. Grateful
So, that was just one example of a recent struggle I’ve had with being obedient and releasing something. I also struggle with being obedient and receiving things. Now that’s the big one!
Well, this is all I have for today. Thanks for reading and enjoy your day!