The other day, I screenshot a Facebook memory with the intention of sharing it, but at the last minute, I decided not to. Not because I thought I would be oversharing, but because I wanted to forget that part of my life had happened. In light of so many women being killed by their significant others, I thought I’d reblog my post from April 11, 2023. It includes the Facebook memory I referenced above.
Fear (entire post)
Fear: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
The Facebook memory I’m sharing below is from four years ago, April 11, 2019. It was written a few weeks after I signed the divorce papers that my ex refused to sign. Up until that day, not many of my friends or family on Facebook knew I was getting a divorce, let alone the things I was going through. And this was over four years after we had separated.
Well, on this particular day I had had enough. For years I was afraid he would kill me. In the memory I used the phrase, “my life would be taken,” to soften the blow for my readers. But it was sooo much deeper than that. I was scared. Like really scared for my life. The more he would tell me he wasn’t going to let me go, or send random texts about how much he loved me – and this was up until he finally signed the papers – the more afraid I became. It was rough. We hear about murder-suicides all the time, and for years, I just knew I would be a victim.
On April 11, 2019, I stopped being afraid. That day I declared my freedom.
Facebook Memory: April 11, 2019
Good Morning! No social media find, just my testimony. Warning: For those who hate when people put all of their business on social media – stop reading NOW!
For over four years I’ve been walking on eggshells. Trying to do everything just right, out of fear. I’ve been afraid my life would be taken at any moment. If not mine, my babies, or he would take his own life (what would that be like for my son). I prayed about it. Started working on my goals. Created a new life for me and my kids. However, there’s always one thing looming, fear. I keep my office door locked at work when no one’s there. I’m never alone with him. You may think I’m overreacting, but I don’t care. It’s what I feel. I’m tired of walking around in fear because he won’t let me go.
Today…today I’m releasing the fear and I’m going to live. That sheet of paper did not give him control over my life. Whether he signs the divorce papers or not, I’m living! And I’m living without fear! Life is too short to always be afraid.
Listen… I am so happy to be on the other side of that fear. To read the words and not feel the same sting feels absolutely amazing. For years, I could not imagine getting to this point, yet here I am. Y’all, God is so wonderful. I am truly, truly blessed.
Thanks for allowing me to share my story.♥️
Shaun
** Note: Never diminish someone’s feelings about being afraid. When they tell you that they fear for their life, believe them. Please do not act like they are overreacting. Sometimes they see and experience things you can’t understand. Also, what you may see as acts of love, another may see as torture. Be Blessed
This wasn’t my only incident with fearing for my life. I’ve never written about this, and only a few know (including my daughter). After I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter, my mom and doctor told me to inform her father of my pregnancy. Against my better judgment, I did. He told me that if I didn’t get rid of the baby, he was going to put a hit out on me when I got back stateside. I wasn’t afraid then; however, I was terrified after I had her. I was always on edge thinking he would show up and do something to us. It took me moving to Turkey for the fear to subside. Looking back, even though I didn’t want to go to Turkey, I now believe it was best that I did. God’s protection.
Domestic violence is real. The fear is real. Mentally and emotionally unstable men do harm their partners. Yes, women do too, but I’m referring to men right now because our women are dying! We must do a better job at protecting our women.
I thank God daily for life and for covering me! I am soooo very grateful to still be here. Thankful I got to see my babies become beautiful adults. This is something I never take for granted. I am truly blessed.
Sending prayers up for all those hurting and are in situations thy feel they can’t leave. Lord, please give them the courage to leave and protect them as they do. They need You! Amen🙏🏽
It’s Shaun’s World 
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