hope

Always Remember

Shaun Bradford
March 23, 2023

Written on March 23, 2023—

Two things to always remember –

  1. WHO you are.
  2. WHOSE you are.

You were not created to blend in. You were created to stand out and make a difference.

Written on March 23, 2025—

Who are YOU?

Me: I’m God’s daughter. I am love. I am joy. I am hope. I am peace. I am light. Goodness, kindness, and strength flows from me. It’s who I am, and I embrace ALL of me.

Never forget who YOU are.

Always remember.♥️

Love you,

Shaun

hope

March 23, 2023 – Grieving

Shaun Bradford

On March 23, 2023, I wrote the following in my journal entry—

“Momma is dying. Her body is basically shutting down. All of her vitals are getting weaker and weaker. Blood counts are severely low…it’s time to let her go. We’re all going to miss her. I’ve been missing her for a while now. 

I called her earlier this evening to check on her. She told me that they have been having a hard time getting blood. It’s like all of her veins are shutting down. They were finally able to draw some from her feet. [My sister] said they called earlier with the results but Momma didn’t want to go to the hospital. She said the doctor said if she didn’t come in tonight he would need to discuss palliative care with her. Momma knows she’s dying. While on the phone with her earlier, she told Nala [her dog] to take care of me for her, not the other way around. Yeah… that’s when I knew.”

My mom knew she was dying. She did all she could to prepare us. At the end of April, she gave my sisters and me our Mother’s Day gifts and gave me money for my upcoming 50th birthday. When I asked why she was giving it to me so early, she blamed it on her forgetfulness and wanted to give it to me while she still remembered. On May 9, 2023, five days before Mother’s Day, she passed.

I ended my journal entry with this—

“It’s weird that Iyanla shared a post about grief not even two hours ago. It’s like God’s preparation before the storm. I love my momma.”

I attached this screenshot of Iyanla’s post to my entry.

As Iyanla said, we owe it to ourselves to grieve, and it’s true.

Unknowingly, I had been grieving my relationship with my mom long before her death, but I didn’t recognize what it was. I had been caring for her for several years while watching her health slowly decline. For years, she hadn’t been the mom I knew. By the time she reached this stage, I was already prepared to let her go physically, but not mentally.

I have a picture of my mom on my nightstand so I can see her whenever I like. She’s smiling. Her smile is my daily reassurance that everything will be alright.

Momma, I miss you.🌺

If you need to grieve, please grieve, and grieve as often as needed. I believe grieving helps us heal.

This is all I have for now. Wishing you a beautiful day and wonderful week. May they be filled with love.♥️

I love you,

Shaun

hope

My Journey With God, No. 136

Shaun Bradford

Time doesn’t stop, but keeps going whether we want it to or not. This morning, one of my sisters shared pictures of her family in our sisters’ group chat. Her youngest children are 15 and 16, and now she has a grandson. Yesterday, my youngest siblings (twins) celebrated their 37th birthday. My sister above them will celebrate her 40th in a couple of weeks. And I’ll be 53 in June.

Time doesn’t stop. It just keeps on ticking away…

Last Sunday, my dad’s church recognized him for his dedication to the church and service in the community. He’s now the church’s oldest deacon.

Me with my dad and niece (my late brother’s daughter).

I was supposed to come back home on Tuesday, but ended up staying an extra day. While I was there, I took a picture with my stepmom to send to my sister in Texas, and she told me to delete it. She didn’t like the wrinkles she saw on her face (she’s 77). I really wanted her to come home with me for a few days, but she’ll never leave my dad alone. And my dad won’t visit because he can’t stop working. I guess it’s the only thing that keeps him going. I never mentioned this—probably because I just didn’t want to write about death anymore—but my dad lost his only remaining sibling two years ago. He’s the only one left. Since then, his health has really declined.

It’s a lot. A lot to watch while I’m also aging. I was talking to a couple of colleagues last week, and they kept referring to clients “around your age.” That’s when I realized I’m nearly five to ten years older than the ones I talk to regularly. It’s wild because all this time I’ve felt like we were around the same age.

So, 53 is on the horizon. In less than 20 short years, I’ll be in my 70s. Right now, I feel like I’m walking a tightrope. On either side is my will, and the rope is God’s will. Almost daily, I battle with jumping off—sometimes it takes so much out of me just to stay balanced so I won’t fall. I could easily throw in the towel and do my own thing, but I’m so dead set on seeing where God’s road will lead me. So, I remain on the rope. Y’all, I truly trust God. All I ask is for God to allow me to live another 50 or so healthy, vibrant years. Lord, I have sooooo much I want to experience, see, and do. Or maybe it won’t take me another 50 years for it all to happen. I just know there’s a lot on my list.

Okay… I believe I’ve written enough. Thanks for allowing me to spill. I needed to release what I’ve been feeling. This aging thing ain’t no joke.

Now, let me get moving! I have things to do.♥️