Today’s blog was pretty easy to write because I wrote it two years ago, May 5, 2019. Y’all, I can’t say it enough, I absolutely love Facebook memories! As I’ve mentioned in several blogs this year, 2019 was a pivotal time in my life. Didn’t realize how much so until I started paying attention to the number of Facebook posts I made that year. Well, around this time two years ago, I had finally let go of being angry at my ex for not signing the divorce papers and had decided I was going to live as a free woman despite his signature. Guess what– By the end of that month, he had signed the papers. I was actually a free woman! Go figure, all I had to do was let go.
Well, while I was trying to get a grip on being free again, I was also struggling with insecurities. I can’t lie, from time to time I still do, but nothing like back then. Now I find myself struggling to embrace “chubby” Shaun… okay… overweight Shaun (hey, I’m a registered dietitian nutritionist- I have to call it like it is) while continuing to move forward. As the fabulous motivational speaker Lisa Nichols said, she didn’t let her weight stop her from being great. And I can’t allow mine to stop me from doing the same.
Here’s my post from May 5, 2019.
For as long as I can remember, I have always found something wrong with the way I look. When I was in grade school, I was too skinny and too dark. When I was 11, I discovered bags under my eyes and went CRAZY! Yeah, I woke up one morning and the bags were there – TO STAY! I’ve always had a gap. I always loved my gap. Then I joined the military; got braces; and the gap went away for only a second and life was good.😁 But then it came back. Lol! Next, I had my first child and lost the weight. A few years later I thought I was humongous at 125 lbs.🤦🏽♀️ Life went on; however, the older I got, the more insecure I became.
Today, I seem to be insecure about EVERYTHING- my height, my weight, my voice, my accent… Crazy, huh? I never imagined that at 45 I would be worried about ANYTHING. It’s not the life I imagined. I thought I’d have it all figured out by now and that my confidence level would be out of this world! Not so!!😩😂
So, this morning, I decided to share a picture that makes me very uncomfortable. It’s one of me being myself. No posing. Living in the moment. Me being me.☺️ Yes, I know this was long, but I needed to get it out. I believe the only way I’m going to overcome my insecurities is by flaunting them. My purpose is greater than my insecurities. It’s time to let them go. I have work to do! For real!
As I said two years ago, my purpose is greater than my insecurities. I have real work to do!
Thanks for reading.
Smiling as I write. Nothing in particular, just happy to be alive. Happy knowing God is working behind the scenes taking care of the unknown. Now I’m tearing up with tears of joy behind that thought. Just think, He’s forever working behind the scenes to make sure we are able to handle whatever comes, good or bad. He’s just good like that. Praying only good is to come, or so much good that it overshadows the bad.
I know I haven’t shared much about what’s happened since I resigned. I will eventually. You know.. since I believe in being transparent. Smile. Just know God’s been doing His thing! Talk about working overtime behind the scenes. Ha! Now I’m crying. Y’all, He never ceases to amaze me. It’s like I can see every detail, every puzzle piece put into place in realtime. It’s difficult to explain. For years I’ve described my life as a Forrest Gump life. It’s like I’m present for everything. Again, it’s hard to explain. It’s like I see the backstory, present and where it’s leading, all in one setting. I see how it all fits together. Okay.. let me stop writing before y’all think I’m crazy. My life.
Going to end with a quote I shared on May 2, 2019:
You owe it to yourself to become everything you’ve ever dreamed of being.
I’m becoming that person. It’s my hope you’re doing the same. Enjoy your Sunday!