It’s January 1st, 2020! Yesterday’s blog was representative of how my 2019 ended. Well… how I thought it would end. But God! After a day of crying and questioning God, it ended with me praising God.
I’m so grateful for Bishop T.D. Jakes. For him allowing God to use him to deliver the message I needed. It was just for me. During his message he mentioned death. He said that God didn’t promise us years without death. He said that death is going to happen. It’s a part of life. And just like that I felt better. It was like I needed to hear those words. Death is part of the life cycle. Everyone has to die. It’s that simple. Now the pain. The pain is going to happen, but it’s good to know that we don’t have to experience it alone. God is always with us.
I said no expectations for 2020 except for letting go and giving God control. However, I realized I wasn’t completely giving God control. I had stipulations. You know, “God, You can have control over my professional life but my love life, I’ll handle that,” or “God, if I pay these tithes, am I going to have enough money for the rest of the month?” Yeah, I’ve said these things. The crazy thing is, God has never steered me wrong or left me hanging. Whenever I’ve given Him complete control, He has ALWAYS come through and with more than I expected. So why do I continue to try to control things? Yes, my brother’s death caught me off guard. I wasn’t ready. But it was always out of my control. God didn’t take him to cause me pain. He took him because it was his time to go. He had fulfilled his purpose.
So, knowing all of this. I have decided to completely surrender all to God. I mean, ultimately, He is in control anyway. Lol. I’m just going to stop resisting and interfering with whatever He’s doing. My job is to listen and follow His command, no matter how crazy or scary it may seem. Yep… that’s my job.
Hello, 2020! God is good!