Peace, Be Still

Whew!! Let me start off by saying, if your first, middle, or last name is Drama, PLEASE stay away from me. PLEASE!

Y’all, I don’t even have time to explain the craziness I have had to deal with at work (of all places). Usually, my work life is pretty much drama-free. I get along with everyone, no lie. Yeah, sometimes someone might say or do something that makes me second guess why I haven’t left. However, nothing has ever gotten out of hand or been dramatic. Well, the stuff (y’all, I really want to cuss, but I know I’d never publish it- smh) I experienced over the past two weeks, have been things I have ONLY seen on TV. It was surreal. Y’all, I was on a conference call.. hearing what was going down.. NO.. EXPERIENCING what was going down (cause it was all directed at me), but not fully there. It was like an outer body experience. Unintentionally, I kept tuning the person out. I even chuckled several times. I was like, there’s no way this is happening to me. It was CRAZY, y’all!

Well, after the conference call, I called the offended party and apologized for making them feel a certain way. Had to leave a voicemail because they didn’t pick up the phone. But I did apologize. That one conference call led to several side calls. Long story short, I decided that trying to defend myself was a lost cause. Yes, I allowed someone to belittle me in front of others so that they could feel better.

Eeerk… You know what, I’ve tried to keep it gender neutral, but why? It’s my blog! It was a male. A black male who believed he had been demeaned and disrespected by other colleagues in the past and decided that the buck stopped with me. Crazy thing is, I had no idea that I had offended him. And why use a conference call to confront me? Like I said, I do not do drama and this was sooo dramatic!

Well, yesterday we had a conference call with the director. Before the call, I found myself becoming agitated. I kept playing the events (cause there were several) over and over in my head. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t pray. Well… I prayed but didn’t wait for an answer. Honestly, I did not want an answer. I wanted to be angry. Funny thing is, I rarely get angryUGH! I wanted to feel the same energy that he brought to the call. However, it didn’t happen. Right before the call, God set me straight. This is what He said (no lie – lol), “So you gon’ do this without Me? Like I can’t make this right.” Yep… that’s what He said. Talk about an humbling moment. That’s when I realized I needed to regroup. He reminded me of how powerful He is. He can command ANYTHING and it will be. ANYTHING! That’s when I heard, “Peace, be still,” (Mark 4:39).

Now I’m getting emotional. Do you know, that call was as smooth as butter. I realized that person’s frustration was not directed towards me, personally. His frustration was from past hurts and experiences. No, he never returned my call or apologized for anything he said on the initial call. Honestly, you could tell he felt accomplished after he got his point across. I’m pretty sure he was sitting a little taller. So kudos to him.

In the end, the peace I felt during that call, and afterwards, was like no other. God is so good. I would like to say – “THANK YOU GOD! You ALWAYS have my back. You are omnipotent. When You speak, mountains move. I’m so grateful I listened to You.” Amen



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