God’s Plan

“God’s plan for your life is greater than you’ve imagined. Allow Him to lead.” –Shaun’s Daily Inspiration, June 3, 2022

Yesterday was not a good day. Although it began with me celebrating God’s grace, it took an unexpected turn. Y’all, all I did was reach into the fridge for a container of yogurt and the tears started flowing. It was my mom’s favorite yogurt. I had done so well this week. Hadn’t cried much at all. Thought I was finally getting a handle on my emotions and then that happened (crying now–where do these tears come from?). Well, I ate and attempted to work on a few things. Again, everything was going well until the mail came. My mom’s best friend had sent me a sympathy card with a beautiful poem about how my mom is still with me. Baby, that’s when the ugly cry came. I couldn’t control it. My son tried to console me but nothing worked. I really hate I cried like that in front of him. You know… you save those kinds of cries for private.

After I calmed down, I decided to take a nap. Naps usually work. Well, this nap didn’t. It only made things worse. I was really in a funk when I got up. Deleted my Facebook and Twitter apps (been off IG) because I did not want to see happy faces while I was feeling so miserable. Just being honest. Then it hit me that I needed to get out of the house. I needed some fresh air. And that was exactly what I needed. When I came back from picking up dinner (which wasn’t good…ugh!), I felt 100x better.

A few years ago, I heard as clear as day, “She can’t go with you.” I assumed the voice was referring to Momma not being able to go to a play with me. But I knew in my spirit, it was bigger than the play. Over the the last few years, I have received this same message. I didn’t want to hear it because I really didn’t understand it. Now I do. She wasn’t meant to go with me into this next leg of my journey. It hurts. I know she’s with me in spirit; however, I really wish she was here physically. I wish she had lived long enough to see her baby girl turn 50.

A few weeks before she died, she gave me money for Mother’s Day and my birthday. Said she had been becoming forgetful and wanted to give it to me then. She also gave my sisters money for Mother’s Day. Y’all, she already knew she wasn’t going to be with us.

I do not believe I will ever understand life or God’s plans. Both are mysteries. However, I do know that before we leave this world, God will fulfill the desires of our hearts.

My mom always wanted to be a published author and she got her wish. Thanking God for Facebook memories because her book promo from June 2, 2021 popped up this morning. She was so excited and it was so beautiful to witness!

I miss my momma.

Praying you have a wonderful day! I’m getting out of the house again. Hanging with my mentor today. A local museum is having an opening ceremony for her late husband’s art exhibit, “Rainbows and Tornadoes: The Mystical World of Branch Exhibit.” I’m excited! As I mentioned before, he was a real artist. Laughing