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Single Again: What now?

It just hit me that I’m actually single again. I haven’t been single since I was 29 years old. Now I’m in my mid 40s. What am I supposed to do? Lol

I haven’t thought much about dating again. Since my divorce, I’ve had friends mention men they thought I’d be good with. But I couldn’t see myself in a serious relationship with them, or introducing them to my children, so I passed. Guess dinner and a movie wouldn’t have hurt. Oh well…

When I think about it, I never really dated in my 20s. Honestly, I didn’t know how to date. I had a total of 3 boyfriends before I married my husband. All of whom I wanted to marry. And the only reason I wanted to marry them was because I had sex with them. I felt like I couldn’t give up the goodies to everyone so whoever got it, got me… for life. Whew! What a crazy way of thinking. I really made some bad decisions based on that concept. SMH

Another thing about me and dating was, I was dating to find a husband. I never dated to have fun. I was on a mission to find my husband, my prince, my king, my warrior! Baby… I knew I was supposed to be someone’s wife, princess, queen, ride-or-die, not girlfriend. I’ve heard, from the younger generation, that you’re supposed to date around until you find someone you want to be in a committed relationship with. Yeah… “committed.” And commitment isn’t equivalent to “let’s get married,” or any of the roles I mentioned above. So I’m totally confused.

Like I said, I’m single again. Starting over is kind of scary and exciting all at the same time. I’m older, and hopefully wiser. Lol. The funny thing is, I still want to get married. I’m a QUEEN and I deserve a KING. The question is, will I be able to date again without thinking of marriage? Hmm…

Maybe I need to nix the word “dating” all together. Perhaps I should stick with “hanging out.” Yeah… I think I’m ready to start “hanging out.” But who do I “hang out” with? Do I choose someone I’m totally not interest in? But what if they’re interested in me? Ugh……

After writing, I think I should forget it all. I’ll just wait for God to drop my king in front of me. Yep… he’s gonna have to come with a crown and all, and a written declaration from God stating he’s my king. Yes… I’m dramatic. Y’all, I’m already excited. LOL!!

For real, at the moment, dating thing seems a bit intimidating, and commitment… commitment is totally confusing. How do people play these games?

To be continued…

Shaun

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