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Today is all about Mr. Alton Sutton. My dad is the hardest working man I know. Besides being a teacher and truck driver, he’s always had two or more side hustles. It wasn’t until two years ago, on Father’s Day, that I sat down and listened to his story.

That morning he had eaten breakfast and was trying to leave for his shop, when I asked to go with him. It was Father’s Day and I had planned to spend every moment with him. Usually breakfast was enough, but not this time. I was determined to go with him. So he took me. I’m not even going to lie, I was 42 years old feeling like a four year old going to work with her daddy. I was so excited.

When we got to the shop, we started preparing items for the snowball stand. As we went through the steps of bagging ice, refilling the ice machine and making the snowball juice, I realized he was training me. During each step of the process he would explain why he did things a certain way; where to purchase the cooling solution for the ice machine; and the sugar to syrup to flavor ratio to make the perfect snowball juice. It was pretty cool!

After delivering the supplies to the snowball stand, he brought me back to the shop and showed me how he made monuments. Yes, my daddy makes tombstones and he has a graveyard. Fortunately, one place we didn’t visit was the graveyard. I have yet to help dig a grave or direct traffic. Lol!

Here’s what I learned that day. My dad has always thought outside the box. He showed me a few drawings of prototypes of his first snowball vehicle (it was a bicycle) and the boom truck for his monuments. He told me– first you have an idea. Then you write it down and keep it where you can see it. Then you go after it. And to never stop going after your dreams. He told me that you have to use what you have while you wait on what you want. Whew! I couldn’t believe my dad was telling me these things. The motivational messages I had been searching for on social media were coming from the source that had been with me my entire life– my dad. That day my dad dropped so many gems! By the time I headed home, I was so full. It’s a day I will always cherish.

I wish I could be with him today. In a few hours he’ll be at his shop repeating the procedures he walked me through two years ago. He hasn’t been feeling that great lately, but he’s never stopped doing what he loves– working. I’m so proud to call him Daddy.

I love you, Daddy!❤️

Shaun

So here’s one of my randoms.

This morning I had dream about Guy. You know, Aaron and Damion Hall and Teddy Riley. I was watching one of their videos (that doesn’t even exist- lol) called Real Love. It was so vivid. It was set in the nighttime. The group was in a vacant parking lot just singing their hearts out. Oh– I can’t forget to tell you what they were wearing. You know the nineties was all about style. Aaron had on his signature black leather pants and vest set, no shirt (umm hmm). Teddy had on a burnt orange Adidas outfit with a black hat (looking fly). Unfortunately, I can’t remember what Damion was wearing. Oh well…

Anyway, they were singing about love. I felt it in my dreams! I woke up with love on my mind. Honestly, it could be because I fell asleep with love on my mind. I fell asleep after watching the preview of OWN’s new series, “Love Is ____.” So my question this morning is, “What is love?” Meaning, love between spouses, partners, companions, etc. What is love?

As a little girl, I thought love was all about the fairytale. I can’t lie, I still love the beauty of the fairytale. Fairytales do exist. By the time I was a teenager, my perception of love had changed. I realized people fell in and out of love quite often. I never had a boyfriend in high school. However, I was in love. I still get all tingly when I think about my “Blue Eyes.” That’s what I called him. That was high school. Lol

The day I graduated from high school was the day my first boyfriend found me. Yes, he found me because I was not looking. Nowadays I hear people talking about the love of your life will find you. Just know, you have to be leery of them too. Just because he finds you doesn’t mean he’s God sent. And this boyfriend wasn’t. In my mind I tried to make him a prince. He was eight years older than I was. So we were on two different levels. Mentally, I was still a child and he was looking for a woman. I was not there.

After that relationship ended, I decided to do the finding. Ha! It wasn’t any better than being found. Eventually I settled. That word, settle, really makes me cringe.

Over the years I received love advice from people who had been married for years. One person told me that the tingly love feeling wears off after the first couple of years so commitment was most important. I had others tell me to look past faults and forgive. The best one, and most deceptive– find a good hard working man and settle down. No one mentioned love in terms of longevity. Were they right? Are they right? Is love only temporary?

Honestly, I don’t think there’s one definition for love. Love is different for everyone. That’s why God made us unique. What I’ve learned is, if you don’t love yourself, you cannot fully love someone else. Self-love is so important. I also believe the person who truly loves you will love you unconditionally– just the way you are. If they want you to change (I’m talking personality wise), it’s not love. You shouldn’t have to change who you are based on “ideal” relationships. You know, those “relationship goals.” Please! Trying to live like others will have you so off course. Do you!!

People try to make love complicated. My definition of love is simple. Love is love. Period. No ifs. You know, “if they were this,” “if they did that,” “if they said this,” “if they looked like this” (now that’s a hard one to let go of– ha!!)… What I’m trying to say is, either you love the person or you don’t. Mixed feelings will make you miserable.

I would like to end this with positive vibes. Positive vibes for everyone (in my Oprah voice). My wish is for everyone to experience the fairytale kind of love. The kind that makes you tingly all over with happiness. The kind that makes your hear melt when you think about sitting on a porch at 90– not talking, just smiling, humming and enjoying each other’s company. Smile– that’s my fairytale.

Remember, the fairytale will always be tailor-made for you and your love. Forget those “relationship goals.” Make your own goals!

As I said, this was random. I’m random. Either you love me or you don’t.

Peace!
#Year45

It’s not easy being transparent in a world that glorifies what’s fake and shuns reality. Reality isn’t pretty. Reality shows vulnerability– the bumps, bruises and scars. Here’s my story about poor Aunt Flo.

Last Tuesday I had a hysterectomy. I can hear my ancestors hushing me. I shouldn’t tell these kinds of things. These are the things you keep secret. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why people keep so many things that are common and part of life, secret. It’s my story and I’m telling it.

When I was 11 years old I prayed for my menstrual cycle to come on. I was weird like that. I was jealous because one of my friends had gotten hers and I felt like she was grown. I wanted to be grown too. Ha! I didn’t know it came with a lifetime of issues. From day one, I had bad cramps. However, my first couple of cycles, I handled them like a champ. But then came the cramps, chills, headaches, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea… I can go on with the list of symptoms. The gift I had prayed for was actually a burden.

Throughout the years it only became worse. When I was 16 my mom took me to my first gynecologist appointment. I found out my ovaries were covered with cysts but nothing else major like endometriosis. I was put on birth control pills which helped ease the pain and symptoms. The pills were a temporary fix. Once I was off the pills, my symptoms returned and they were even more severe.

As I got older, I heard that the cramps would go away after my first baby and they were right. For a while they weren’t so bad or as bad. Although, I can remember sitting on the toilet, bent over in pain, trying to breastfeed my baby girl. Note: Motherhood doesn’t stop because you’re in pain.

My first fibroid was discovered during my six week check up after my first child. That was 24 years ago. It was small. I was told we were going to leave it alone as long as it didn’t start giving me problems and it didn’t. Life went on.

Five years later the symptoms became more intense. I had another ultrasound and the fibroid had grown from the size of a marble to the size of a golf ball. It was located in the back lining of my uterus and was pressing on my colon. That’s when I had my first surgery. The surgeon was able to remove the fibroid without removing parts of my uterus. I was told if more fibroids grew I should think about having a hysterectomy. I can hear some of my readers screaming “You know you don’t have to have a hysterectomy.” Yeah, I knew that then and I know it now, and I know me. I don’t believe in dealing with the same issues multiple times. If it can be taken care of, let’s do it.

Over a decade had passed before I developed two new symptom, heavy flow and severe anemia. I was told the flow would become heavier with age. I was okay with that until I had to start wearing Depends lined with overnight pads. I called them my paper panties. That helped at first, but not for long. The day my daughter cleaned my car seat for me because I was in too much pain and had to change my clothes, was the day I knew I had to do something. And the anemia.. When I think about how tired I was all of the time and how hard it was to concentrate on and complete simple tasks, I tear up. I was really struggling- struggling to keep up the appearance that everything was normal. I was a mess!

The day I met with my GYN/surgeon I had mixed emotions. We sat down and talked. He went over the procedures with me. I just nodded my head and smiled. I understood it all. I had researched everything and was prepared for it. So I thought. It wasn’t until he asked his nurse to take me to the examination room that I began to feel differently. As I walked to the room, I felt like I had been handed a death sentence and I was walking to my doom. I became so emotional. I waited for the nurse to leave before I started bawling. The tears were flowing. I was thinking things like “I’ll never be able to carry another baby,” “I’ll never feel a baby grow inside of me.” Umm.. didn’t I have my tubes tied 15 years ago? So why was I crying? I realized I was crying over the loss of my friend, the uterus. We met when I was eleven. She carried two babies (and a few fibroids) for me. She was my annoying companion and she was being taken away. I was sad. Then once I realized the reason for my mourning, I said farewell to my uterus and embraced the idea of living without her. Just like that. I promise you I’m not heartless, she had to go!

Well, I’ve been five days without her. My stomach is too bloated from gas (that’s a-whole-nother story) to tell she’s missing. However, when I turn from side to side it feels like my organs are trying to find a resting place. Yeah, it’s kinda painful. They know something’s missing. I told my kids I wish I could’ve brought her home with me. Lol. I assume she will be missed another month or two. Then life will go on.

Guess what? I can finally wear white! Already bought a white dress! Yes!!

Muah,

Shaun
#Year45

Ha! I had published this same blog on my old site. That site is being deactivated. So follow me on this site. My new site.

Welcome to the world of random thoughts, inside jokes and carefree writing. Yes, it’s Shaun’s World!

This site isn’t meant to be stuffy or too serious because all of that is pretty boring. It takes too much thought and time to create those sites (been there, done that) when all I want to do is share.

So, be warned, grammatical errors will happen; corny jokes will be told; heartfelt and meaningless stories will be shared and life will go on.

Again, welcome to Shaun’s World!

Muah!
#Year45

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton