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Yesterday my daughter asked if I was going to celebrate my birthday the entire month of June. I told her no. Last year was #Year45, as I called it. Well, this conversation happened before I got the best news of my life— he finally signed the divorce papers. YESSS!!!

Only God knows how I felt when I received the news. I can’t describe it. It was a feeling I had never felt before. It was so unexpected. When I saw the law office number pop up, nothing came to mind. Like nothing. My mind was blank. Usually when I see the number I try to speculate what the call’s about and always expect another road block. This time, I just answered. The words I heard were music to my ears. It was like this great calm overcame me. I was actually basking in God’s glory. As I said, I can’t even describe it. I’m free!

Over four years of waiting and it’s finally happened. So what’s next? I don’t know. I’m just going to live. Y’all I’m forever grateful to God for seeing me through this. Wow! Just, wow! Today’s a new day!

This is my season…

#46andFree

Shaun

Lately I’ve been thinking about the direction my life is going. My goals are still the same. However, there’s so much more I would like to do and what I’ve been doing is no longer satisfying. It’s time for a change.

A couple of days ago, Mara Akil used the hashtag “Rebuilding My Wildest Dreams.” It’s something that has stuck with me. Why build for someone else, or continue to do things to build others. I put something on my vision board about being a consultant for a non-governmental organization. Then, for a brief second, I had the thought that I should build my own. I quickly talked myself out of it. But why not. Why not build my own. Why not promote my own as much as I promote others. I’m just as brilliant and capable. Which is what my daughter has been telling me for years- imagine that.🤷🏽‍♀️

Well, I’m finally listening. This week is going to be bittersweet. I have to let go of the old and venture out. Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things to do. Leaving my comfort zone is even harder, but it’s time. It’s time to rebuild my wildest dreams!

It’s Shaun’s World

#ItsShaunsWorld

It’s 2:00 a.m. Laying here thinking about the next phase of my life. Letting go of things that really don’t serve a purpose. Things that aren’t helping me grow.

I’m a helper by nature. I love it. It’s who I am and what I do. I see an area someone needs assistance in, and I volunteer to help, even when they don’t ask for my help. Sometimes I think it’s the mother in me, or the nurturer. Y’all, I really cannot help it. Which is probably one of the reasons I volunteer for EVERYTHING! Ugh, I really need to stop! Lol

Well, I think it’s time to stop trying to fill voids in other people’s lives. It’s time to be selfish and only focus on myself and my needs. Thought I was doing this, but obviously not! The only beings I’m obligated to help are my two. I’m not married (calling it what it is, forget a signature). My baby girl is an adult doing her own thing. So technically I don’t have to worry about her. I guess my son is my only concern. Ha! I have basically narrowed my circle down to two people, myself and my son. Lovely! The next person/people I allow into this very small circle, has to bring support in order to get support. My one sided assistance is gone.

This morning I’m declaring my freedom from all of the things that are holding me back. It’s funny how most of the chains were placed here by me. I made the connections. I linked up. I shackled myself to people and causes. Honestly, it’s the embarrassment of letting go that’s keeping me bound. “What will people think or say if I changed?” That’s the same mentality that kept me in a relationship that ended long before I said “I do.” I should’ve let go!

So now that God has shown me this (clarity), what will I do? Will I listen and let go, or will I continue and repeat the same old stuff (I really wanted to cuss but I can’t even say the word, let alone write it. SMH). The decision is all mine. It’s up to me to break free.

The word coexist came to mind the other day. I’m searching for connections that will allow me to coexist with others. No chains. No obligations. I need mutual support and understanding. Yeah…everything has to be mutual. I’m worth it!

xoxo

Shaun

Springtime is one of my favorite times of the year. It’s when everything thing awakens. The flowers start to bloom, and tiny creatures start to resurface.

I have to commend myself, I’m reacting pretty well to the little creatures. Haven’t freaked out yet. Even walked in a room where a lizard was inches away from me, and I didn’t panic. Have to give credit to the animated creatures and the Geico gecko. Lol.

Okay… got a little sidetracked. Y’all know how I am.😉 In my last blog I wrote about letting things go and clarity. Well, the clarity has continued. I thought I was comfortable in my own skin before, but I realized I had a lot to work on, and I still do. However, I’m finally coming out of my shell. I’ve begun owning my uniqueness. It’s one thing to embrace it, but owning it is POWERFUL! I’m no longer timid about using the platforms I’ve been given, to support my vision. I’m learning from the best!

I’m so excited about what lies ahead. #Year45 isn’t over yet! God is working!

Shaun
#IAmPOWERFUL💪🏽

Over the past few years I have done a lot of soul searching. Been trying to figure out who I am. Trying to find my true self. It has definitely been a journey. Have I accomplished my goal? Um… NO! However, what I have discovered is helping me become the best version of myself.

Recently I started reading old journal entries from the 90’s. I can’t believe there were so many things I had forgotten about– past relationships, accomplishments, heartaches, and dreams. It’s been like reading someone else’s story. My life has been full of experiences– good and bad, juicy and dry… basically a mess. Lol. But they were my experiences and I thank God for all of them. They’ve shaped who I am.

This year I asked God for clarity. It’s amazing how one little request has revealed so much. The Bible says, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find. . .” (Matthew 7:7). Well, I’ve found out a lot about myself. Some things I’m not too thrilled about, but I needed to discover them to help me become a better person. There are patterns that I have repeated over the past 20-30 years that have to stop. Then, there are others that I need to strengthen.

Honestly, I needed the revelations. I needed clarity. I’m not too thrilled about letting some things go, but I know that I have to. They’re really holding me back. I guess you can say, I have always used them as crutches for not moving on, for not growing, for saving myself from hurts and disappointments. Yeah… it’s time to let go and move forward. Here’s the first…

Farewell, Blue Eyes (SWR)😥

Letting go and moving forward.

Shaun

New year, same old barriers. Lol. I didn’t make any declarations for 2019. However, I did expect to wake up with a new attitude. Didn’t happen!

I have to admit that I’m very stubborn. If I don’t want to do something, I’m probably not going to do it. Or if I do it, I’m not going to give it my all. Pretty pathetic, huh. Well, it’s time to override this stubbornness because, frankly, I’m getting on my own nerves. I have work to do…PERIOD!

So, Shaun, I’m saying to you, “Bye Felicia! Ain’t nobody got time for your stubbornness. It’s time to get moving!”

Back to my schedule. As much as I love spending countless hours on social media, it’s time to get it back under control. I only use it to procrastinate, anyway. Whatever notifications I get during my off time, will still be there when I log on. I don’t have to be the first to know everything. Lol!

My purpose is bigger than me. I have to set priorities. Life isn’t going to pass me by just because I set priorities. No, life is going to be better because of them. Thanking God for clarity. Yes, my heart is a little hurt (guess I should say ego, not heart). But I need to get back on track.

What’s for me will always be for me and nothing or no one can block it. However, I can prolong it by refusing to do my part, and make the necessary sacrifices, to get there. Amen

I’m kind of loving speaking to the universe. No one reads these blogs. Lol. I know God sees them and perhaps other species and beings throughout the galaxy. Yeah, I believe in all of that. Anyway, thanks for listening.

Shaun