What’s The Purpose?

“Do not make a permanent decision based on temporary circumstances.” –Bishop T. D. Jakes

My head wants to sever ties but my spirit and heart will not let me. I know there is a purpose behind the pain and madness. Just wish I knew what that purpose was.

Maybe there is some kind of lesson I am meant to learn from this. Or, some kind of super power I am supposed to gain from being so strong. Will I receive some kind of award or prize for my perseverance? If so, I would love to receive it while I am still living. I would love to experience heaven on earth and while I am young enough to enjoy it.

Honestly, though, I must be failing the assignment because I keep going through the same thing. Like, different year, same stuff. It is as if this cycle is stuck on repeat. What am I missing? What step am I overlooking or avoiding? When I tell you I feel like I am in one of those escape rooms and just when I think I am finally about to escape, I enter another hallway with more rooms that lead to nowhere. Is there even a way out?

Can I scream, now????

Yes, knowing the purpose of it all would definitely help… or would it?

Only God knows. I guess my job is to keep going, to keep playing. Eventually, I will win! Right?