“Move the immovable. Break the unbreakable. God, we believe. We believe for it.” CeCe Winans’ Believe for It
This song has been stuck in my head for well over a week now. Just can’t shake it. Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m believing for but my soul knows. Maybe it’s something that I’ve given up on that my spirit is fighting for. They say the Holy Spirit will intervene on our behalf. Perhaps this is what’s happening. Whatever it is I guess I’ll believe for it too.
So yesterday morning, as I was looking in the mirror, I had one of my “Aha” moments. While attempting to do something with my hair, I looked at myself and said, “I got you. I got you, Shaun.” Y’all, at that moment something clicked. It was like I finally realized I was fully responsible for my own well-being. Even though I’ve known this forever – been totally responsible for myself and well-being for about 30 years now – I have never taken the time to fully understand what that entailed. Yet, in that split second, it dawned on me that I.. yes, me.. am responsible for protecting, supporting, encouraging and loving myself. I.. yes, Shaun.. am responsible for ensuring I live my BEST life. Yes, it’s on me, solely on me.
Perhaps what my soul is believing for is tied to me believing in myself and loving myself like I’ve never done before. That the only way I can live my best life is to care for myself like I care for my babies. To want for myself the same things I want for them. As many of you know, my son will be graduating in one month. As I’m trying to prepare him for this new wave of freedom he’s about to experience, I’m also preparing myself as well. It’s been about 30 years since I last rolled solo. Anxious to see what lies ahead. Hopeful
Anyhoo.. I’ll end here. I pray my soul receives whatever it’s believing for. It’s a little after 4:30 AM so I’m going to publish this and try to go back to sleep. I’m not ready for my day to start.