Earlier I shared, “Here I Am.”
Five years ago (March 26, 2019), I wrote the following in my journal:
“Today is the day we separated for good. I can’t believe it’s been four years. Four years. Didn’t think I’d make it four years off of patience.”
Actually, it was patience and a lot of prayer that got me through that time.
Just the day before—March 25, 2019—I was finally able to sign the divorce papers. It had been four long years of me patiently waiting for everything to work out. Of me trying not to rock the boat. Of me being kind, thoughtful and considerate. Yeah… I was all of that. Four years of suffering in silence; biting my tongue; allowing others (those who I thought loved me) treat me like trash for deciding to divorce a “good man” (their words). For deciding to listen to what God had been telling me to do for years, but I was too afraid to. I was never supposed to marry him, yet I did. I knew this. Tried to explain this, only to be treated like I was the most horrible person on earth. So, I waited. I waited four years for him to come to terms with the fact that we were actually divorcing. His lawyer said he was finally ready. I was so happy. Signed the papers, and he refused to sign them. Y’all, I had never experienced anger in my life until that point. Never… and I had had some pretty messed up stuff happen to me before then. However, I never got to the point of anger, until then. Whew!!
As I shared earlier today—I am here, and I am still standing! Y’all, what was meant to destroy me did not take me out! I made it!!!
Forever grateful for God’s love, mercy, and grace. I made it!♥️
Shaun
It’s Shaun’s World 
This speaks of the relief my best friend had when her divorce was final. In our state, you have to be separated for a full year before a divorce is granted.
They’d already been torn apart and breaking horribly years before then. They’d built a new home, etc. But it just would not work. After that full year ended, I will never forget the text message my best friend sent me, she was SOOOO HAPPY. I could feel the joy bursting through the text.
Like you, she knew he wasn’t the one, married him anyway and suffered. I’m glad you broke free from what was holding your joy hostage.
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I am soooo happy for your friend!! There’s nothing like freedom!
The day my ex finally signed the papers, May 31, 2019, was one of the happiest of my life. However, the happiest day came exactly one week (7 days) before my 46th birthday. That was the day the judge granted me the divorce. She said that I had waited long enough. It was over. I sat in my car and wept. All those years of waiting had finally come to an end. Afterwards, I went home and loved on my babies. They knew what that day meant for me. I was free!
Writing this was like a weight being lifted. It’s the first time I have openly expressed how I felt during that time. Had been hesitant to share for fear of over sharing or stepping on toes. Barely celebrated after it was over. Didn’t want to appear extra. But this time I didn’t care. I am free and I’m still here!! I keep stressing “I am still here” because I was afraid for my life. I left that part out. Up until the day he signed the papers he was still texting me saying he wasn’t going to let me go. So yes, I am celebrating my freedom and life. It’s delayed but still mine to celebrate. I actually made it through something I thought would never end.☺️
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You go on and celebrate! You deserve to bask in freedom, Shaun. You truly do. 🙌🏾👏🏾🙏🏾
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Thank you!!🙏🏽💕
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You’re most welcome!
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