Wide awake so, you know how I do, I write.
Reposted a Facebook memory I shared back in 2018. It was a video of Will Smith talking about happiness and how he and Jada came to the understanding that another person cannot make you happy. Happiness has to come from within. As Will put it, another person can make you smile, laugh and feel good, but they cannot make you happy. And he was absolutely right. It took me years to realize true happiness was a mental state of being, not an emotion.
Growing up, I always believed happiness came from another person. I was always waiting for the day I’d find this guy who would make me happy. I mean, that’s what the women in books and movies always said, “He makes me happy.” What they were really saying was, “He makes me smile, laugh and feel good.” However, whenever the guy broke her heart she became sad and somewhat depressed, but… she always bounced back. So, what happens when the smiles and laughter ends, or your heart gets broken and you can’t seem to bounce back or function?
My ex used to always say he wasn’t happy. So I would try to do things to make him happy. Eventually I said the same thing Will said to Jada, and this was years before Will posted his video. I explained that I could not make him happy, nor was it my job to keep trying. Believe me, it was exhausting. Thanks to the awesome advice I received from my therapist in my early 20s, I knew happiness came from within.
Side note: I need to take a moment and thank my younger self for seeking therapy, especially in the early 90s when Black people were not into therapy. The best part was, my therapist was a Black female contracted through DOD working in Ramstein, GE. I had to add that because God’s strategy is just impeccable. Y’all, He knew long before I did that I would need to seek help and she needed to be the one who provided it. Whew!! So grateful for Ms. Elaine. Because of her, I made it through some crazy times. Listen, I’m still living off the advice she gave me almost 30 years ago.
Anyway.. I need to take a quick nap before I get my day started so I’ll end with this:
1) Please find happiness within yourself. Make yourself smile, laugh and feel good. Believe me, I’ve been on both sides and there’s nothing like being truly happy.
2) If you’re constantly feeling down and/or depressed, please seek therapy. Most of the time it’s not the other person not making you happy, it’s you.
3) However, if the person you’re with never makes you smile, laugh or feel good, you may need to rethink that relationship. Just saying. That’s just my opinion. Lol
As usual, thanks for reading my early morning ramblings. Enjoy your Tuesday.