Life

Just Felt Like Writing

It’s almost 4:00 AM. This time I fell asleep in the recliner. Woke up about an hour ago and can’t go back to sleep. So I guess I’ll write and share one of my Facebook memories.

Two years ago, I was on cloud nine. Life seemed so surreal. Two days before I had written the post below, the judge finalized my divorce. I had waited over four years for that day. I remember being so nervous as I entered the courthouse. I tried not to expect the worse but I did. The night before, I had googled everything that could possibly go wrong. What if my ex changed his mind? What if the judge decided not to grant the divorce? Sooo many what ifs. Y’all, I was a nervous wreck. I remember my lawyer telling the judge that I was really nervous. The judge assured me that I didn’t have anything to be nervous about. That I had waited long enough, she was signing the papers. After it was all over, all I wanted to do was hug my babies. They knew what that day meant. They knew what I had been through because they went through it with me. I always tried to hold it together around them. Never wanted them to see me sad or cry, but they knew. They were my rocks. I’m so grateful they allowed me to love on them over that four year period. The love I gave them they reciprocated, which has continued to this day. Honestly, I have never been loved so unconditionally. They are my blessings.

Y’all, I’m forever grateful I listened to God. Despite how crazy people thought I was for getting the divorce, I listened to God, let go and haven’t looked back. In April of this year, I did the same with my career of 15 years. I left it all behind and haven’t regretted it once. Unlike when I separated from my ex– all nervous and afraid– this time I wasn’t nervous or afraid. I happily let everything go knowing I was following God’s lead and that I was safe in His hands. I guess you could say the divorce and that four year period of only relying on God prepared me for where I am today. Without going through what I went through back then, I would not have been able to make it today. Y’all, I have been jobless since April 1st and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. God assured me He would provide and He has. Grateful.

Okay.. I’ve written enough. Here’s what I shared on June 19, 2019. By the way- Happy Juneteenth!!

Happy Hump Day! Here’s today’s social media find. Take the leap! TAKE THE LEAP!! I guarantee, if God said He’ll catch you, you have NOTHING to be afraid of. Words of caution– it’ll be a bumpy fall. You’ll have some scars. Mostly because you decide to trust yourself and not God. But it’s all good. Those bumps will help you grow and become stronger. Just know, in the end, when God catches you!!!.. Whew!.. You’ll KNOW it was well worth the leap.

Unlike that particular leap, this one hasn’t been bumpy at all. As I said earlier, I believe the first leap prepared me for where I am today. I learned from the first one to trust God, COMPLETELY! Forever grateful and blessed.

As always, thanks for reading my early morning ramblings.

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Today’s blog is composed of two Facebook posts from June 6, 2019. When I first began sharing my Facebook memories and excerpts from journal entries, I felt like a lazy blogger. Then it finally dawned on me that I’ve already put in the work on the backend so why not share them.

The first post is Be Ready, and the second, Forever A Princess.

Be Ready

If you’re like me, you ask God for things praying they come to pass. However, after facing numerous setbacks you begin doubting things will ever work out in your favor. But in the back of your mind you know God is ALWAYS working behind the scenes. You’ve actually witnessed His work through others’ blessings. You don’t hate. You rejoice with them and tell yourself, “One day that will be me.” Well, while you’re watching and waiting, are you preparing? If not, you better be because when God starts moving, He moves fast! #BeReady

Forever A Princess

Happy Thursday! Here’s today’s social media find. As I celebrate my 46th birthday month, I’m still trying to figure out what I truly want to do in life. I just can’t see myself doing the same exact thing for the rest of my life.

Although my life is forever evolving, the kind of woman I’ve always wanted to be hasn’t changed. I am the woman I envisioned as a little girl– strong, loving, compassionate, empathetic, passionate, spontaneous yet cautious, adventurous, love challenges… The list goes on and on. Honestly, I love who I am. I know 5 year old Shaun would be proud of her 45 year old self. Yeah, she would love me!

Oh, and I’m still a princess even though everyone around me believes I should refer to myself as a queen.🙄 No… I’m a princess.

Hope you enjoyed my memories. They always make me smile. Wishing you a wonderful week. Stay safe and be blessed.

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

My Joy

Today, I decided to reblog last year’s blog, My Joy. The experience I shared last year (May 16, 2020) is how I have felt every day over the past month or so. No lie– EVERY DAY! Y’all, I never knew I could be so happy all day every day. Lately, whenever something negative tries to enter my space, God blocks it with something positive. Just a thought– Maybe God has always provided positive options but I chose to focus on the negative OR not listen and follow His guidance. Hmm… something to think about from now forward.

Listen, I cannot emphasize this enough, when you allow God to lead and love on you your reward is that unspeakable, indescribable joy. Y’all, it’s how I’m living! Forever Grateful ~ Shaun

My Joy

I could not end this week without testifying about all of my wonderful experiences this week. Smiling as I reminisce. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a …

My Joy
Life

Wednesday

Today’s blog was pretty easy to write because I wrote it two years ago, May 5, 2019. Y’all, I can’t say it enough, I absolutely love Facebook memories! As I’ve mentioned in several blogs this year, 2019 was a pivotal time in my life. Didn’t realize how much so until I started paying attention to the number of Facebook posts I made that year. Well, around this time two years ago, I had finally let go of being angry at my ex for not signing the divorce papers and had decided I was going to live as a free woman despite his signature. Guess what– By the end of that month, he had signed the papers. I was actually a free woman! Go figure, all I had to do was let go.

Well, while I was trying to get a grip on being free again, I was also struggling with insecurities. I can’t lie, from time to time I still do, but nothing like back then. Now I find myself struggling to embrace “chubby” Shaun… okay… overweight Shaun (hey, I’m a registered dietitian nutritionist- I have to call it like it is) while continuing to move forward. As the fabulous motivational speaker Lisa Nichols said, she didn’t let her weight stop her from being great. And I can’t allow mine to stop me from doing the same.

Here’s my post from May 5, 2019.

For as long as I can remember, I have always found something wrong with the way I look. When I was in grade school, I was too skinny and too dark. When I was 11, I discovered bags under my eyes and went CRAZY! Yeah, I woke up one morning and the bags were there – TO STAY! I’ve always had a gap. I always loved my gap. Then I joined the military; got braces; and the gap went away for only a second and life was good.😁 But then it came back. Lol! Next, I had my first child and lost the weight. A few years later I thought I was humongous at 125 lbs.🤦🏽‍♀️ Life went on; however, the older I got, the more insecure I became.

Today, I seem to be insecure about EVERYTHING- my height, my weight, my voice, my accent… Crazy, huh? I never imagined that at 45 I would be worried about ANYTHING. It’s not the life I imagined. I thought I’d have it all figured out by now and that my confidence level would be out of this world! Not so!!😩😂

So, this morning, I decided to share a picture that makes me very uncomfortable. It’s one of me being myself. No posing. Living in the moment. Me being me.☺️ Yes, I know this was long, but I needed to get it out. I believe the only way I’m going to overcome my insecurities is by flaunting them. My purpose is greater than my insecurities. It’s time to let them go. I have work to do! For real!

As I said two years ago, my purpose is greater than my insecurities. I have real work to do!

Thanks for reading.

Shaun

Life

My Life

No, it’s not Wednesday. Was reading through my Facebook memories for today and came across a response I wrote to an interview Ciara gave at Essence Carnival. As usual I’m getting emotional. Y’all, specific dates, times, and seasons in my life are so significant. This particular response I’m referring to, I wrote on April 27, 2019. However, as I scrolled through my memories, I saw where I had documented another significant moment, April 27, 2014. That was the day my ex said he wanted a divorce. Instead of me falling for his pity party and disregarding my feelings, as I had times before, I said okay. He immediately tried to retrieve his words but they had already been said. That was the day I knew for sure it was over. Well… 20 years before then, April 27, 1994, was the night I conceived my baby girl. Yes, I remember it like it was yesterday. I had just got back with her father. That night he told me he was going to give me what I always wanted, a baby. I laughed it off because that was the last thing I wanted. I had orders to Eglin AFB in Florida. Baby.. the last thing on my mind was a baby. HA! Six weeks later I found out I was pregnant. My life…

Okay.. didn’t mean to get sidetracked but y’all know I do. Here’s what I originally attended to share. I guess you can say it’s somewhat related. It’s about life and the flow of things.

April 27, 2019:

Wise words from Ciara. Whatever’s meant for you, is for YOU! Stay the course.

I’m going to add, whatever’s not for you, will pass you by. And you need to let it pass. Let it go. Believe me, you won’t have to rearrange your life for what’s meant for you. You won’t have to change who you are. Things will flow without being forced.

I can recall things that happened in my life- jobs, relationships, places I’ve been, other professional opportunities, etc. – that I forced to happen, and things that happened naturally. What wasn’t meant to be, caused more stress and anxiety, than happiness. The things that were supposed to happen, or meant to be, happened so smoothly. Things just fell into place. Everything was in order.

Here’s just one of many examples: (yeah, I feel like writing, do you feel like reading- lol)

When I received orders to Turkey, I thought my career was over. I had decided to turn down the orders if I couldn’t take my daughter. Well, I had just enough time left in the military to do an accompanied tour (2 years). I didn’t want to leave Florida. However, God had other plans. When I got to Turkey, I was given 30 days to find childcare, a designated person to accompany Ki back to the States if a war broke out, and find housing. When I say everything happened so effortlessly, believe me. Everything was in place. I’m getting emotional just thinking about how God worked it all out. The people He placed in my life, were placed there for a reason. I didn’t have to worry about anything. However, what I did have to do was- 1) have faith, 2) listen to God, and 3) act when He told me to. God is so good! He’s truly amazing!

Okay. That’s all. Just felt like sharing. Also, I spent forever writing all of this, I refuse to delete it now. It may or may not make sense.🤷🏽‍♀️😂”

As you can see, I’ve been trusting God forever. I’m sleepy. Going to hit “Publish” and go to sleep. Enjoy!

Good Night

Shaun

Life

Wednesday

Last Wednesday I was wondering what I would call my Wednesday blogs and finally decided to keep it simple, Wednesday. Hopefully I’ll actually have something to blog about on Wednesdays.

Anyhoo.. this Wednesday’s blog is another Facebook memory. This one is from a year ago, April 14, 2020. Last year around this time, I was contemplating resigning but was too afraid. Well, here I am a year later living unafraid. God is good.

Last year I posted a list of most common regrets. Not sure who wrote them, but they really resonated with me. Here’s the list:

  • Too much time spent stressing and worrying.
  • Caring too much about others opinions.
  • Not taking risks that might result in a grand reward.
  • Too little time with loved ones.
  • Too much living life to please others.
  • Not enough living in the present moment.
  • Not letting go of past anger and resentment.
  • Not enough play, laughter, joy, or happiness.
  • Too little time expressing genuine emotions.
  • “Not saying how I really feel.”
  • “Not following my heart.”

Here’s the caption I wrote:

“My goal is to live life without regrets. At least not focus on missed opportunities, or as I always say, what should’ve or could’ve happened. The quickest way to become down and depressed is to constantly think about how things could’ve been if only you had made other decisions. Starting today, let’s begin again – living without regrets.”

Today, I can happily say I’m living without regrets. Again, God is so good. Y’all already know I’m tearing up. Honestly, I never imagined I could feel like this. Last year on my birthday, my wish was to always feel like I felt that day– loved and carefree. Y’all, I’m living it! I’m blessed.

I pray that you have a wonderful Wednesday. See you on Sunday!

Shaun