hope

My Journey With God, No. 93

I’m built to stand on my own ten. So, I’m good. –Shedeur Sanders

I saw a snippet of an interview with Shedeur Sanders expressing how all his drafted teammates were drafted in pairs or more and had each other to lean on, but he didn’t. He’s in it alone. The clip ended with his quote above—basically, he’s saying he’s built to hold his own.

When I tell you I felt what he said to my core! I’ve spent my entire life feeling like I have had to do things alone—to hold my own. Not because I wanted to, but because I was raised to feel like it was expected of me. When you are the oldest and in charge of everything and everyone younger than you, there is no one else to depend on. You are it! So, you learn to stand alone. I believe this is one of the reasons I have a difficult time expressing emotions like sadness, grief, and even pain. Expressing them makes me feel vulnerable and as if I can’t handle them on my own. BUT… I’m working on it. Little by little, I am beginning to open up and express those feelings, not only in writing but verbally. I am slowly realizing and accepting that it’s okay to let others know when I am not feeling strong. I don’t have to hold my own if I don’t have to.

Y’all, I am so grateful that God continues to reveal areas where I still need healing and pruning. I look forward to meeting the woman I will be a year from now and even ten years from now. (Just another nugget of encouragement I’m leaving myself. Girl, you’re growing!☺️.)

God, thank You for loving me.♥️

Shaun