Life

Wednesday Writings

Had a crazy dream that I was pregnant. Yes… pregnant!! I had gone to the doctor for something and left with news that I was about to be a mom. I was like, “You got to be lying! I can’t even have babies.” The first and only person I told was my daughter. She kept asking if I knew how far along I was and I didn’t know. I had no clue I was pregnant. The next thing she asked was about the identity of the father. Umm… I didn’t know that either. In the dream, I went from a couple of weeks pregnant to 8 or 9 months before the dad’s identity was revealed. Talk about weird!

What is even weirder is I just read a journal entry from November 25, 2018 where I also had a dream about a baby. In that dream I had had the baby in June, dropped it off at the babysitter’s, and never picked it up. Talk about CRAZY!! Who does that?! I wrote how once I realized I left the baby, which was months later, I was too embarrassed to ask for the address. Y’all, I had forgotten the babysitter’s address!! I wrote that I told my son about my dream and he encouraged me to search online for the interpretation. I’m not sure if I ever did. However, I ended the entry with, “Maybe the baby was part of me. I lost myself and maybe I need to find her again.”

Looking back, I believe that interpretation was pretty accurate. I was losing myself again and I was too embarrassed to let anyone know. As for this recent dream, I’m not sure how to interpret it. I know that I cannot get pregnant so the pregnancy must symbolize something. I guess if I think about it long enough, I’ll find the answer.

As always, I appreciate you reading my random ramblings. Smile. Please enjoy the rest of your week!

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Remain Hopeful

I believe God gives us glimpses of hope when we need them most. Whether it is a smile, call, text, social media post, thought, or memory, He always has a way of letting us know better days are ahead. Our situations may not immediately change, but that sliver of hope gives us the push we need to keep going.

Remain hopeful. The best is yet to come!

Shaun

Life

Transparency

Being transparent does not mean sharing everything.

As many of you know, I am a big proponent for transparency. I believe that the more transparent a person is, the more human they are. I have always believed that people need to see the struggle or thought process behind the success in order to believe it for themselves. Well, that’s what I believed up until a couple of hours ago. Now, I’m not so sure if that is true.

Here is what just happened to me (yep.. another transparent moment). Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend about a venture. She suggested that I pursue something I had done in the past but not really interested in doing now. We discussed it for a while and I was like, nah, the timing isn’t right. Fast forward to two hours ago when I came across a Facebook memory from 2017 of me actually doing exactly what my friend and I had discussed. Y’all already know I’m emotional so the first thing I wanted to do was share the news with everyone. I wanted to tell everyone that that was where God was leading me. I wanted to share that that particular memory was the confirmation I needed. God instructed my to only tell my friend, the one who I discussed it with. Instead I shared it on Facebook. Immediately I felt convicted. I knew I was not supposed to share it with everyone. You want to know how I knew? Not even 30 minutes before, on another account, I saw this message and saved it.

Yep.. So I went back and made the post private. I did not delete it because it is still confirmation but also a reminder to be obedient. Allowing God to lead sometimes means I cannot be as transparent as I would like to be, and keeping moves to myself does not make me any less human.

I’m learning.

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Thy will be done.

How often have you said, “Thy will be done,” lately? Me, I haven’t. Haven’t said it in a while. I used to say it all of the time, especially when I set out to do something new – new job, new venture, new collaborations, new relationships. I used to pray and ask God if it were in His will to allow it to happen and if not, please allow it to pass. Well, what happened? Why did I stop using my disclaimer (that’s what I call it)?

The answer that comes to mind – I thought I could force whatever I wanted into something that would fit God’s will. I saw the vision. I somewhat know the purpose. However, instead of waiting on God before moving, I thought I would make my own moves to get there. For someone who is always talking about allowing God to lead, I seem to keep falling short in certain areas. It’s as if I do not trust Him with certain aspects of my life. I know that whenever I say, “Thy will be done,” it opens up the doors for any and everything that could possibly happen. In other words, it frightens me. I have witnessed people lose loved ones, become paralyzed, get cancer, and so much more. To me, and I am just being honest, saying that one phrase opens the door for unknown (sometimes bad) things to happen. You could become ill like Job (in the Bible) or get hit with a life that you did not want, something miserable. As I wrote those last few words, God reminded me that Job’s story did not end with him being down. Because of his faithfulness and unwavering belief in God, God restored everything he lost and added more. Job did not live out the rest of his days sick and down, he lived a happy life.

So, who is to say that my worst days are not behind me. Maybe I have already seen my worst. Up until a year or so ago, I used my disclaimer quite often, and God always saw me through the tough times – ALWAYS. Therefore, I must believe that the best is still to come, not the worst. I have to know that saying, “Thy will be done,” releases the shackles I have placed on God and will allow Him to do great things in my life. It is not in His will for me to suffer but to be prosperous. However, I must believe this. And I know from experience, if I only imagine the worst, I will never be open to receive the good. Been through this before. It’s all about mindset.

Lord, Thy will be done.

As always, thanks for reading!

Be Blessed –

Shaun