wholeness – It’s Shaun’s World

Grief is a tricky thing. It seems to pop up out of nowhere and when you least expect it. My mom’s birthday is tomorrow. She would’ve been 66 years old. Seems like the closer it’s gotten to her day, the busier I have tried to become. Been trying to surround myself with positive and uplifting energy. However, when things become quiet, as they are now, it hits me. So what do I do? I go searching for another uplifting fix.

Well, I thought I had found another one. Decided to watch a video by Pastor Touré Roberts thinking it was about entrepreneurship. Little did I know it was about dealing with grief. Not just grief due to death, but unresolved grief from other situations and circumstances—his was from childhood.

I’m sharing his video with you because maybe it holds the answer you have been searching for on how to handle grief. Like Pastor Touré, I don’t like feeling vulnerable or sad. Besides when my brother died, I had always been able to somewhat control grief. I knew how to block it. It’s what got me through some difficult situations. I didn’t have time to grieve or feel sorry for myself. Didn’t want to. However, after watching Pastor Touré’s video, I probably should have grieved a few things. Probably should have gone through the process instead of blocking the pain. Today and tomorrow, I am going to feel what I need to feel. I miss my mom.

Anyhoo… Wishing Pastor Touré well on his journey of processing his grief. Here’s his video:

“Called To Wholeness”

Came across another Facebook memory I thought was worth sharing. I start off by saying I’m a nurturer and problem solver. Both of these attributes have always been a blessing and– I refuse to say curse– a burden. I am still learning that I cannot do more for others than I do for myself. Putting everyone’s problems and needs before my own drains me emotionally and mentally as well as physically. As I said, I’m still learning. One day I will get it right.

July 8, 2019

I’m a nurturer. I’m a problem solver. If I see something that needs to be done, I do it, whether asked or not. So, I don’t blame anyone for expecting me to do what I’ve always done. They all know I’m just being Shaun.

Since my 45th birthday, stepping back and allowing others to handle their problems has become easier. I’m finally focusing on me. These past two weekends have been rejuvenating. I’ve actually enjoyed myself without worrying about my kids (my cheerleaders☺️), my family, or work.

Y’all may think I’m exaggerating, but I haven’t felt free to only think about myself since I was a little girl– was babysitting and cooking by age six. Back then, I was either the oldest or most “mature,” so I was always put in charge of things. This carried over into my adulthood and 1) was great for my career– already had leadership, managerial and problem solving skills, 2) benefited others around me, but 3) caused me to lose myself– who was Shaun? Well… at 40 I started searching for “ME,” and on June 17, 2019, ALL shackles were released when the judge signed those divorce papers!

Whew!! From here on, I’m putting myself first! I deserve it!

Note: Please stop placing so many responsibilities on girls at a young age. It’s okay to teach them to be self sufficient, but also teach them how to take care of themselves. When we know better we must do better. Let’s raise, whole women, not broken women. That’s all!😊

That was two years ago. Today, my goal is to be whole. Which means I need to nurture myself more and solve my own problems before assisting others. Still learning and growing.

Thanks for reading. Wishing you a wonderful day!

Shaun

Tag: wholeness

Grief

Facebook Memory: July 8, 2019