Didn’t really know what to share today. Honestly, I didn’t feel too much like writing nor sharing a Facebook memory. After reading my journal entry from last year, I decided I would share an excerpt from it. This was after my mom had passed and I was thinking about my life going forward. I was thinking about opportunities I had missed and/or felt I was unworthy or unqualified to take. Here’s what I wrote:
Shaun’s Journal Entry: May 18, 2023
One of the scriptures [Matthew 10:9] does reference not taking anything with you but totally and completely depending on God. Heard this [in my spirit] as I was subscribing to the UN career pages. In my mind I kept thinking I needed more experience and needed to make my trip to Geneva happen, all while I kept hearing to leave it in God’s hands. A little while later, I began thinking about Momma and her dreams. I began feeling like maybe God didn’t believe she was worthy enough for good things and perhaps He felt the same about me. This really made me sad and think that if I wanted it, I would just have to take it. Meaning, I was going to once again override God because I felt he cared less about my dreams than He did others. During this time, I also started hearing how Momma had opportunities that she did not take. Her life could have been better but she chose differently. So it wasn’t that God did not believe she was worthy… just heard, SHE did not believe she was worthy. Whew!!!
“Whew!!!” was right! What a revelation because I did not believe I was worthy either. I believed that some opportunities were only meant for people who clearly fit the role. I was and am only someone with a dream who is trusting God while trying to navigate to where I want to be. I keep getting opportunities, but will they get me to my dreams? Hmmm… A question only God can answer.
So, this graphic was also included in the entry. Not sure who originally posted it or where I got it.
Well, I guess I was/am being redirected to something better. As always, my job is to allow God to lead while I trust, obey, and follow. I must continue to believe that my dreams will be fulfilled. I have to believe.
Last night I received an email from a United Nations (UN) careers page I had registered with. Probably the same one I had mentioned in my entry. Unfortunately, I was not able to register for the opportunity I would have liked to have participated in because it had already passed. So, I’m not sure if me receiving the email was just a sign that I am still on the right path or encouragement to not give up on my dreams (because this was the first email I had received in months). Either way, it was a much needed reminder that God hasn’t forgotten about me, and that I am worthy to be there and worthy of all my other dreams as well.
Anyhoo, I think this is it for today. It’s still raining. Think I will do what I wanted to do yesterday, lay around and watch old murder/mystery shows. However, if the sun chooses to shine, I am getting out of this house! Praying you have a lovely day.♥️
Shaun
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