Last week around this time, I was headed to visit my daughter. It feels so wild to have a child that’s almost 30. As I wrote in Almost 30 Years, she’s been through it all with me. Words can’t even begin to describe how grateful I am that God gave her to me.
I decided to take a real trip down memory lane this morning, a 30 year trip. I didn’t write anything on this day 30 years ago (December 19, 1994), but I wrote something two days before. Here’s what I wrote. Hope you can read it.
December 17, 1994— My baby journal
I had no idea if I was having a girl or boy so I always referred to them as “Honey” and “Sweetie.”
I was excited and nervous at the same time. Had no idea of what to expect but knew I wanted to be the best mom ever. The kids and twins I was referring to were my siblings.Me and my sweet baby girl today.🥰
From where I was then, to where I am 30 years later, I am so very blessed.♥️
Wanted to share this before I got on the road. This young lady, my baby girl, my heart, has been through everything with me. All of my high moments and the very lowest of lows. The lows I tried to shield her from but it didn’t always work. I remember her catching me crying from time to time when she was around three or four and her telling me things were going to be alright. Y’all, she used to rub my head like I was the baby.
Having a child at 21 and being single and being in the military stationed hundreds to thousands (she went to Turkey with me) of miles away from family was more stressful than anything I had experienced, but I made it. We made it!
So, if it seems like I write about her a little more than I do my son, it’s not because I don’t love him just as much, it’s because me and this baby have been through some things. And now that she’s an adult, every chance she gets to do something special for me, she does. She’s forever loving on me. Her fiancé told me that she had a bad morning yesterday because things weren’t going as planned. She had planned for us to do something and it didn’t work out. I let her know that being in her presence and with her was worth so much more than anything she could’ve planned. Y’all, I love her so much.
Okay… let me wrap this up because I can feel my eyes swelling from the tears and I need to get on the road.
Next month she will be 30 years old. Where did the time go? I am so proud of the woman she’s become and is becoming. She’s my blessing.♥️
Today, I am dedicating my first post to my two loves, my hearts—my daughter and son. Never in a million years did I think two wonderful beings could come from me. By no means are they perfect, but they’re perfect for me. Watching them grow from infancy to adulthood has been the honor of my life. I love the people they’ve become. And a bonus is they love me. They actually love me. Y’all, their love is a gift I will always treasure. I am blessed, so very blessed.♥️
Over the years, I have written about my thoughts on trust. Although I easily connect with people, that connection doesn’t automatically come with trust. My trust has to be earned, even from those closest to me. It’s not something I hand out freely. I can love you all day because I truly do love people, but my love doesn’t translate into trust. As I mentioned six years ago, trust is very fragile. Once it is broken, it’s hard to repair if it’s ever repaired.
Questions–
What are your thoughts on trust?
Do you believe trust has to be earned?
Have you ever restored trust in someone?
Well, that’s all for now. I pray you have a lovely week. Remember to put God first, and if you can’t trust anyone else, you can always, always, always trust God.♥️
When was the last time you spent more than a few minutes with God?
If you’re like me, you probably talk to Him throughout the day. But, that’s not what I am referring to. I’m talking about spending time with Him without distractions, without music, without any outside inspirational sources (books, videos, etc.)—just you and Him. If you haven’t or haven’t in a while (of course, I’m speaking to myself, too), it’s definitely time to do so.
Y’all, our relationship with God is vital. We must be intentional about building a stronger relationship with Him.♥️
Was feeling some kind of way for not feeling bad about a situation. Was beginning to think I was being heartless. Even stopped what I was doing to check myself. Decided to read a past journal entry written on this day and the message I needed was right there as plain as day!
Here’s what I wrote on December 2, 2017—
“The lesson I learned is never fight more for someone than they are willing to fight for themselves. NEVER!”
On that particular day, I was putting my career on the line for someone who didn’t even want to work with us. I assumed he was being treated unfairly. Come to find out he was doing the bare minimum and couldn’t wait to leave.
Sometimes when people aren’t fighting for themselves it’s not because they don’t know how, sometimes it’s because they don’t want to. Do what you can, then step back and let them continue on their own. If they want to succeed, believe me, they will.♥️
It’s Shaun’s World 
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