Life

Happy New Year’s Eve – 2017

If you have already read the blog I posted earlier, then you’ll know I had decided not to reblog last year’s blog. It was too depressing. Then, while scrolling through my Facebook memories, I came across this gem. It feels so good to be back!! Enjoy!

Happy New Year’s Eve! As always, I start one blog with the intention of posting it. Then on the day I decide to post it, I come up with something …

Happy New Year’s Eve – 2017
Life

Hello Sunday!

A little late with writing today, but all is well. I actually slept a good 6-7 hours. Which has not happened in ages. Guess I wore myself out cleaning out storage bins. Y’all, I am an organized mess. Lol! The bins look nice and neat until you lift the lids. They are filled with items from my military career, undergrad and grad school, bills, letters, pictures, magazines, books, movies, etc. When I say I keep everything, I keep EVERYTHING! Ugh!! I rarely throw anything away. Which is funny because I found a letter from one of my sisters that was written in 2001. She sent me a picture of my nephew and wrote, “I’m sending this to you because you keep everything.” Wow! That’s what I do.

I guess I should attempt to explain why I hold on to so many things. First of all, I shouldn’t refer to all of the items as “things,” but memorabilia. The majority of the items I don’t believe I’ll ever throw away. I have letters from friends and family dating back to 1980s. Last night I found cards my granddaddy sent me for holidays and birthdays. Something I will always cherish. These came from someone who spent his entire life trying to live up to his reputation of being this hard, cold individual. But later in life he would call just to say hello and tell me he loved me, and he would send cards. Then there’s my military memorabilia. I have uniforms, orders from different assignments, awards, evaluations. You name it, I probably have it. Will I part with them? Probably not. As I mentioned, I have work from undergraduate and graduate school. I worked too hard on some of those projects, I just can’t throw them away. My magazines! My magazines date back to the 90s. I have Jet, Essence, Ebony, Sister-2-Sister, Time, Legacy, Sports Illustrated, Beckett Sports, and a few others. I have local magazines. Newspaper articles of events or people I know. Honestly, I do not know what I’m going to do with all of these things. I told my kids that when I buy my forever home, I am going to have a room where I can display everything. I can see myself walking through the room with my grands (children, nieces, and nephews) telling them stories about all of the items. To me, that’s heaven.

Okay, as usual, I got a little off track. I also have pictures.. tons of pictures! I took pictures of everything!! I have pictures from high school. Pictures from basic training. Y’all, I was in there just snapping away. Lol. I have soooo many pictures. Right now I have over 17,000 images stored between my phone and cloud. I just can’t seem to bring myself to delete many of them. They are so much more than pictures. They’re memories! They represent times, places, and feelings. As a child, whenever I would visit family, all I wanted to do was look at old pictures and ask questions- “Who’s this?” “Where was this taken?” Those questions usually led to great stories. Now I have my own stories.

Anyhoo.. as you can see this Hello Sunday is very random. Just felt like sharing. I’m going to glance over it to make sure it somewhat makes sense, but I’m not going to do much editing. This is how I typed out my thoughts so I’m going to leave this as is. Authentically me.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday!!

Hello Sunday

Well.. I’m awake, and it is Sunday, so why not write. I do not have anything particular to write about. As always, I have a song stuck in my head. Right now Richard Marx’s Right Here Waiting is the song of the hour.

Here are the lyrics (source- LyricFind):

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn’t stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can’t get near you now

Oh can’t you see it baby
You’ve got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I’m with you
I’ll take the chance

Oh, can’t you see it baby
You’ve got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Waiting for you

I was in high school when I first heard this song. I still get butterflies every time I hear it. Unfortunately, I cannot remember who I was crushing on at the time (more than likely it was Blue Eyes), but I do remember the feeling. I was in love.

Well, that’s all I have. Hope you enjoy your Sunday!

Shaun

Life

I Have a 17 Year Old!

Today is my son’s 17th birthday. Seventeen! Where did the time go? Sooo many memories in what seems like such a short time.

Y’all, cherish the time you spend with your little ones. Listen, one minute they are babies, and the next they are adults. Make sure you get to know them as individuals. Get to know what excites them, what makes them smile and laugh; but also, get to know what disappoints them or makes them sad or mad. Sometimes as parents we become so caught up in parenting that we forget that 1) we were once children with feelings and 2) they are little human beings trying to find their place in this crazy world. Here are my two cents of advice– as with most humans, love, guidance, acceptance, understanding, and compassion goes much further than correction. The next time you have the urge to correct your child, please take time to find out the root of the problem. Sometimes all they want is your attention.

Okay.. enough parenting advice.

Again, I cannot believe I have a 17 year old! It has been such an honor watching him become this vibrantly, brilliant young man. I still can’t believe God gave him to me. I am definitely blessed. Y’all, I love him so much! Praying God protects him from hurt, harm and danger. Speaking nothing but blessings and favor over his life. He’s God’s child and deserves the absolute best!

Shaun

Life

Life & Love

Up thinking and just had to write. 2020 is something else. It is the year for the unexpected. I’m not sure if I’m prepared for what may come next. Praying I am.

Well.. that’s not what I wanted to write about. Last night I watched the most amazing Verzuz battle ever! It was between Brandy and Monica. Y’all, it was like I had stepped back into the 90s. As if their story had picked up from where it left off 20 years ago. I know they said that it had been eight years since they last saw each other, but to me it felt like the 90s versions of themselves meeting up for the first time. The tension was so thick at times that I caught myself holding my breath. I mean, one wrong word and they could have set it off! Y’all, it was really that tense.

Anyway.. for me.. this is where things really became awkward. Brandy decided to read a poem before her song “Missing You.” I believe the first name she read was Kobe Bryant’s. Y’all, for a moment I stopped breathing. She went on to mention GiGi, Chadwick Boseman and a few others. But to mention Kobe knowing his widow is still deep in mourning, and with 1.2M people streaming, was not the time. Believe me, I understood and still understand her pain. If I was in her shoes, I would have wanted to do the same. Well, Monica’s next song was dedicated to Vanessa Bryant. Y’all, it was crazy!

Okay, that was Brandy’s story. Monica had a few awkward moments of her own. The whole Corey “C-Murder” Miller thing was entertaining, yet weird. She was going hard for this man. Said she wanted to wear the t-shirt she had made for him. I believe she kept saying something like she wanted people to say his name until they were saying it backwards. Whatever that meant. Lol. Bae-bé.. she that ride or die for real!! Okay!! Y’all, Free C-Murder now! Ya heard me!

Whew!! Anyway, the entire thing was entertaining and so worth watching. If they do decide to go on tour, it will probably end up like the Bobby Brown and New Edition tours, a hot mess! Lol! Somebody is definitely going to be Bobby.

Anyway, the reason I chose the title, Life & Love, is because I believe both women are living wishing they “would’ve, could’ve, or should’ve” done things differently. Boy have I been there, and trying so hard not to go there again. I’m pretty sure many of you have wished you would have made different decisions about a person you were in love with. Now you are living with the reality of the consequences of your decisions. Last night was really difficult to watch because I could feel what they felt. Like I said, I’ve been there and it still stings!

Okay.. One short story.

There was this guy I was in love with all throughout high school. He rarely paid me any attention until our senior year. That’s when we actually started having conversations. I used to love it when he would stop to say Hi or spend his lunch period in the library talking to me. Made me feel all special. To this day I believe the only thing that kept us from moving forward, besides his girlfriend (hehehe), was my race. I remember him asking if I was mixed with another race. Which was odd.

Umm… Since I never mention names, I’ll just call him “Blue Eyes.” Only a few know who that is, including my kids. They tease me all the time for putting Blue Eyes in the “friend” zone. Life…

Okay.. got sidetracked. Well, during our senior year, I went to several of his football games and all of his home baseball games. Y’all, I loved watching him play sports. Most of the time I was the only Black person at the baseball games. So I kind of stood out. Believe me, he couldn’t miss me. Lol! It was there that I met his mom. One day he approached me and told me that his mom thought I was nice. It’s crazy just remembering these things.

Well, the relationship I had dreamt of never happened. However, I did meet up with him in college. I sat out fall semester, but attended the next spring. During my extended summer break, I met my first boyfriend. That’s when my life became a little complicated. It was a mess. So by the time I attended college, I was so ready to get away from him and his baggage.

I remember walking into my first class, a lecture hall that held 300 students, and seeing two familiar faces and one was Blue Eyes. Y’all! How did that happen?? Hands down it was definitely God! Just thinking about it has me smiling and tearing up. I was so happy to see him. Talk about butterflies! During that semester, after class he would walk me halfway across campus to my next class. Y’all, I was in heaven. But that was only at school. Our relationship never made it off campus. Once I left campus I returned to my dysfunctional relationship with my boyfriend, and Blue Eyes returned to his girlfriend. We were both playing games. He had told me that he had broken up with his girlfriend, and I told him I had done the same with my boyfriend. Which was actually true at the time. You see, we broke up and got back together every other week. Anyway, one evening I happened to pass his girlfriend’s house.. NO, I was not stalking her. Her house was on one of the main roads to Walmart.. As I passed her house I noticed his red Honda CRX in her driveway. Maybe this is too much info. LOL! So he had not broken up with her. It was all a lie. Days following that I decided I had had enough and of everyone and needed to get away, so I scheduled an appointment with an Air Force recruiter. In April 1992, I signed up to join the Air Force after the semester was over.

Afterward making my decision, I remember avoiding Blue Eyes at all cost. I didn’t want to talk to him. I was so hurt. I felt betrayed. But why? It wasn’t like I was actually available. Before the semester ended we had our last conversation. I don’t know how we ended up in that stairwell. I remember us sitting there talking and I told him that I was joining the Air Force. Y’all, he said something that pierced me to my heart. He said, “All you’re going to do is end up pregnant and alone.” Guess what, I did.

For years I tried to find him. As far as I know, he’s not on social media. He was always a very private person, so this is not surprising. I did find an address and phone number. I never called. Was too afraid he would be like “Umm… I don’t remember you.” Y’all, up until last year, he was my “would’ve, should’ve, could’ve,” guy. I had to let him go. Praying he’s okay.

Unfortunately, Brandy’s opportunity ended many, many moons ago. Kobe met the love of his life and moved on. Ouch!! Monica.. well, her and Corey both made decisions they probably wish they wouldn’t have. But he’s still here, and now she has the opportunity to try again. I pray this turns out better than she’s ever imagined. Although Brandy insists that she’s good being alone, something I find myself saying often, I hope she finds someone who will love her like the queen she is. Y’all, we all deserve that kind of love.

No time to edit. Hope you enjoy my ramblings. Love y’all!

Shaun

Life

Six Years

I really do love Facebook memories. I am always surprised by the treasures I find. Here is this morning’s treasure. It is a simple profile picture from 2014, six years ago.

Optimistic

Six years ago I was preparing to take the leap of my life. I had no idea of the challenges I would face, but I knew I could not stay where I was. God had made it clear, I needed to GET OUT. Y’all, I was so scared. I did not know how I would make ends meet without two incomes. Shoot.. I was barely making ends meet then. Boy.. the stories I could tell! But, I won’t. That was six years ago, and it is over now.

TODAY!! Today I am alive, well, and THRIVING!! Never could I have imagined I would be where I am today. EVERY day I give thanks to God. I constantly remind my children about His love, mercy, and grace. I remind them so much that whenever I become discouraged, they remind me. Lol. It is so important that they know just how good God truly is.

Y’all, I dare you to trust Him! I am sooo glad I took that leap.

Shaun- YOU MADE IT, GIRL!!