Tag: transparency

hope

In A State Of Praise and Gratitude

Shaun Bradford

When I created this blog site, I created it with the intent of sharing a bit of my world with the world. Well, most of my world is my relationship with God. Y’all, I’m still on that note and the past 10 years. When I tell you my life has drastically changed. I used to wonder why people told the same story about overcoming hardships over and over again. They say it’s good for business, and is. However, I see mine a little differently. To me, it’s my opportunity to acknowledge and praise the greatness of God. Y’all, His grace and love are unmatched.

After I shared my last post, I realized those 10 years were so much more than my obedience. They were about me rekindling my relationship with God. A relationship I began at eight years old, and one that I took very seriously when I became a teenager. Then, after I thought I had let God down, it began to fall apart. I was so ashamed of myself for not resisting temptation. Honestly, I’m not sure why I thought I had to be a perfect Christian. It’s funny how I gave grace to everyone else except myself. Then, when life happened to me, I didn’t give it to myself. I always reference my marriage because it was during that time when my relationship with God basically ended (nothing to do with my ex, I actually hindered his worship). Now, don’t get me wrong, I knew God was still God, but I felt like I had lost all privileges to communicate with Him. I knew I had entered something sacred and knew I shouldn’t have. I was just so disappointed with my life and God not stopping me from making the first mistake I made. I mean, He was God, right? So, why didn’t He stop me?! Y’all, I’m just being completely honest and transparent about how I felt. It wasn’t until much later, during that four year long divorce process, that I realized I had been punishing myself for years. Those crazy decisions I made were punishment because I felt I did not deserve better. And y’all, all that time God was loving me.

So, when I say that things make me a bit emotional, or I am forever praising God for one thing or another, it’s because I am no longer in that bondage I had created for myself. Y’all, I’m actually free!!

All praises to God!

Okay, this time I’m done for real. Just had to share my testimony. Listen, there’s nothing like being mentally and spiritually free.

God is so good!♥️

Shaun

hope

Everyone Can’t Handle Your Truth

Shaun Bradford

This is so true. Everyone cannot handle our truths. It took me a very long time to realize this—basically, a lifetime. For years I believed people wanted to know the authentic version of me. I thought I could be free and open with people who seemed to like me. It took many heartbreaks and letdowns to learn that most people didn’t want to know the real me, they only wanted to interact with and know the version they could tolerate (not accept). This is why I only have a handful of close friends, and my closest get to experience all of me.

In one of my very first blog posts (June 2018) I wrote—

“It’s not easy being transparent in a world that glorifies what’s fake and shuns reality. Reality isn’t pretty. Reality shows vulnerability– the bumps, bruises and scars.”

This blog site, “It’s Shaun’s World,” was originally created to be a space where I could be authentic and transparent. I really wanted to share my world with others. However, over the years I learned to tone it down and only release bits and pieces of me in small doses. Not everyone likes happiness. Some don’t like quirkiness. And many don’t like when people share their vulnerabilities with the world. Those are things I guess are supposed be kept private or only shared with friends or a therapist. I believed people wanted to know the human side of people—because that’s what I want to get to know, the real—when in reality they only want a character.

Anyhoo… I could go on and on. Here’s what I shared two years ago.

Facebook Memory: August 16, 2022

“Being transparent has its limits. Our lives were never meant to be an open book for all to read. Knowing when, what and with whom to share is vital. Everyone can’t handle your truth.♥️”

Yes, unlike in 2018, I now know this is true. Everyone can’t handle my truth—which is the reason I sometimes write posts that I never share—even when they’re my true experiences. Not everyone would or could understand, and that’s okay.

Well, that’s my truth for now. I pray you have a lovely Friday and beautifully, blessed weekend. Love you!♥️

Shaun

hope

Stay Strong | Stay Focused

Shaun Bradford
Shared on July 19, 2021

On July 19, 2021, I shared the image above with the caption, “Stay strong. Stay focused. You’ve got this.” I even have it pinned to one of my pages.

Stay strong. Stay focused.

Seems like that’s been the story of my life. For as far back as I can remember, I’ve always had to be the strong one. I’ve always had to be the focused one. What would ever happen if I no longer wanted to be the strong one, or no longer wanted to be focused. Would the world fall apart? Would my world fall apart?

Transparent moment…

I’m not sure what’s going on with me. This past week has been mentally and emotionally draining. Last Friday I met up with my sisters and their families for a weekend reunion. It was great seeing everyone and their families. I was solo.

Solo

I didn’t think it would bother me as much as it did. Not even sure why it is bothering me now. This is where the, “Stay strong. Stay focused,” has always come in and rescued me. I would redirect my attention so that I would not feel (even though I am an emotional person) whatever negative feelings I was feeling at the moment. As I have mentioned before, I hate feeling sad or anything negative. So, I tend to seek out positive, uplifting things, which I believe we should. However, do I ever fully process those negative feelings? Hmm… I believe I allow the process to get to a certain point and then pull back. Sometimes I believe I pull back because I was always led to believe God doesn’t want us to feel anything negative.

Y’all, just listening to myself process my emotions have me thinking about the movie, “Inside Out.” I have only seen the first movie but have heard so much about the sequel. Maybe I’ll go see it today.

Anyhoo… let me get back on track. As I was saying, I was led to believe negative emotions were not godly so I would force myself to find positive things or “get over it.” Well, I am tired of getting over it and being strong and being focused. Honestly, it’s not even me, it’s like my soul is tired of me not allowing myself to process those feelings. So, this time, whether I like it or not, it’s happening. I have even found myself being honest this week when people have asked how I’m doing. I have responded with, “Not well. Nothing major. Don’t feel like going into details.” Does it make me appear vulnerable or weak? Perhaps. But it’s the truth. I can hear people saying, “Never let people know when you’re down.” Yeah… that’s what I have done the majority of my life and I am tired. I’m tired of not fully feeling. I believe I have to fully feel and process my feelings before I can move forward. If this means appearing weak, so be it. As I stated in my original message, my purpose is greater than my distractions. And me worrying about what others think is a distraction.

Today, my focus is on feeling every ounce of what I am feeling. No holding back. No redirecting. It’s time to feel so I can fully heal.

That’s all I have at the moment, which I guess is enough. And for those who cringe because you think I am oversharing, please move on. It’s your voices that have kept me from fully feeling. Instead of criticizing me, please send up prayers for a complete healing because it’s what I would do for you. Love you.♥️

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

Perceptions…

Facebook Memory: July 14, 2022

Perceptions can be very deceptive and lead to unwarranted mistrust. We must be mindful not to confuse what we perceive to be true with the actual truth.

Trust God.

This was written two years ago and is so relevant today. Perceptions can be deceptive.

Praying you have a blessed day.♥️

Love you,

Shaun

Life

What Do You Want?

Shaun Bradford

A few years ago, I posed this question—“What do you want?”. Smiling as I think about it. Of course, all kinds of things popped into my head when I thought of the things I wanted. However, what I really, truly wanted weren’t things at all, it was peace. Peace within.

Well, I’m so happy to report that I found the peace I was searching for. Listen, all kinds of craziness can be happening around me and I always find myself at peace. Now, it doesn’t always happen instantaneously. Sometimes I find myself wanting to join the chaos or allow things to linger; however, God has a way of easing the peace in. Y’all, He is so smooth. I just love the way He loves me. Favored & Blessed

Here’s today’s Facebook memory.

Facebook Memory: June 12, 2021

What do you want? Simple question, yet not always easy to answer. Most of the time when we’re asked this question we respond based on our desires at that particular moment or where we are in life. Quick and easy answers will suffice in the moment; however, deep down we know there’s so much more. When was the last time you asked yourself what is it that truly want out of life?

I planned for peace. I sought it out, and God gave it to me.

Of course, I want more than peace. However, what I am beginning to see is the peace I asked for is opening doors and making room for other things I desire. Honestly, I am just letting God do His thing and bless me as He sees fit. He knows best, and His blessings are above anything I could have ever imagined or dreamed.

Last night, my son asked if this is where I pictured myself at 50. And my response was, I never even imagined 50 (from an adolescent/young adult standpoint). I had no idea I would experience life the way I have. Yesterday, I attended an event for women veterans. At even 18, I never imagined I would join the military. Had no clue I would have my first child a few years later. Didn’t know I would live in Germany or Turkey. I mean, soooo much has happened since then. So, making it to age 50 is such a wonderful blessing and feeling. I have a home. I’m healthy. My kids are healthy, and they are thriving adults. And…I am finally living in the peace I asked for.

Side note: I keep stressing the peace part because I used to let things bother me. Like really bother me. I was what people referred to as a “worrier.” Felt like if I wasn’t worried about something then I wasn’t living or I didn’t care. Oh, how life has changed. I am so loving this space I’m in, and loving life over 50.

Well, I think this is it for today unless I decide to add something later. Also, I don’t believe I sent you well wishes today. So I am doing it now. I pray your day is exceptionally beautiful.♥️

Love you always,

Shaun

Life

Are You All In?

Shaun Bradford

Listen, I couldn’t help but smile when I came across one of today’s Facebook memories (included at the end). My only response when I shared the post seven years ago was, “I’m ALL IN!”

Thinking back, I thought being committed to the process would be a cakewalk. That being “ALL IN” meant it was only up from there. It’s funny how I did not account for the unpredictability of life. Nah… when I said I was all in, I just knew I would conquer every obstacle successfully the first time. Laughing because I had no idea of the roller coaster ride that was ahead. No idea that I would go through some of the same experiences (different situations with different people) multiple times before I could actually move forward. I didn’t know that I would self-sabotage opportunities or be used or abandoned by people who I thought had my back. Nah… you see, when I declared I was “all in,” I was at a point in my life where life was good. I was finally coming out of the trenches, and I could only see up from there. And up is where life has gone, but not without a few bumps, hiccups, and lessons along the way.

So, here is what I have learned over the past seven years. Being fully committed is a process. It’s a decision I make daily. No lie. Y’all, there are so many mornings when I wake up motivated and pumped, then by noon I want to throw in the towel because this commitment thing too hard. Listen, when I tell you God loves me! It’s God’s love, patience, presence and guidance that keeps me going. He always sends me just what I need in those moments that give me the strength and confidence to press forward.

Here is something else I have learned. The product of commitment is not for display. It’s not something to take pictures of and post for others to see. No, this commitment is sacred. It’s between myself and God. It’s a space that no one else has access to. Unlike back then, and even up until a year or so ago, I felt the need to show people what God was doing behind the scenes. I thought it was more important for me to show/share what God was doing than to let it happen authentically. I did it to be transparent. I was so big on transparency. Little did I know, my transparency was limiting my experiences with God. I was so focused on sharing the process and my testimonies that I couldn’t fully comprehend or embrace what I was experiencing. Whew! When I tell you I am loving this space I’m in! I am finally in a space where only God and I reside—a space that is exclusively for two. No guests allowed.

Growth!

Anyway, I believe I have written enough. I may or may not delete a few things. However, I believe leaving it as written is probably the most authentic. So, I’ll keep it all. See how easy that decision was. Smile

Here’s the Facebook memory I have been referring to—“Are You All In?” by Bishop T. D. Jakes.

Facebook Memory: May 5, 2017

My answer is still the same—Yes, I’m all in!

Praying you have a peaceful Sunday. Love you!♥️

Shaun