Life

Visualization

Can you see it?
Can you feel it?
Are you already living it even though you’re nowhere near it?

You can believe until you’re blue in the face; if you can’t see it, you’ll never have it. Just sharing God’s message to me. Thought you could use it too.🤷🏽‍♀️ ~ Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Today’s “Hello Sunday” is a reblog from April 11, 2021. Y’all, it’s a year later and I still tear up when I think about how God has allowed me to live the life I have always imagined. Well.. minus the husband. Seriously, it’s funny how I always believed I could not live my best life without being married. This isn’t to say I never want to remarry because I would definitely be lying. However, over the past year, I have discovered that I don’t have to wait until I find a significant other or get married to truly live. I guess being happy really is a state of mind. God is good.

Here is what I wrote last year:

Happy Sunday! Came across a quote from a few years ago which basically sums up how I have felt over the past week. It read, “And so, she started living the life she’d imagined.” Y’all, I’m in tears right now. I have never felt so free. So in control. So focused. Been watching God work. […]

Hello Sunday — It’s Shaun’s World
Life

Hello Sunday

Since it’s still heart month.

Happy Sunday!

I’m currently reading – The Life You Long For: Learning to Live From A Heart of Rest by Christy Nockels. So far, so much of her story has resonated with me. Especially the part about being so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life trying to achieve goals and the lifestyle you have always dreamed of that you neglect to live. The funny thing is you believe you’re living until you actually begin living. As Christy calls it, it’s living from a heart (place) of rest. In other words, living from a place of peace and contentment.

As Christy has noted in her book, it takes a moment to get to a place of rest and once you get there, it’s still challenging to remain in that space. Because as we know, we cannot control the things that happen around us, but as pastor and author, Joel Osteen would say, we can control how we respond.

For a few weeks now, more so the last two weeks, I have been thinking about the freedom of choice. As we know, socially and economically, everyone does not have the same level of freedom when it comes to choices; however, all of us do have the freedom to make choices, even small ones. Although it is impossible to control others’ actions or events happening around us, we can control our reactions and actions, which is a choice. So when I refer to the freedom of choice, this is exactly what I’m referring to. Nothing intense. Nothing political. But personal choices that we make daily.

Since I have been living from a place of peace, I have noticed that my choices are different, they’re better. I respond to situations much differently than I used to. The things that used to make me anxious, no longer bother or upset me. I’m also learning to be kinder to myself. Which is BIG! Y’all, I really was my own worst critic. I’m also less judgmental. I have always loved people’s uniqueness, even my own, but that didn’t stop me from judging. Yes, I’m human. Overall, life is so much better than before and it’s all because I have chosen to make it better – I have chosen to live from a place of peace. Now, I would be lying if I said my life is always peaceful, that nothing happens that throws me for a loop. Y’all, every day.. yes, EVERY SINGLE DAY I’m faced with things that challenge my peace; and every day I make the choice of how I respond. To me that’s freedom! And I’m loving it.

Word of advice – which is what has gotten me to this place of peace – if it disturbs your peace it’s too costly. Let it go.

As always, thank you so much for reading. Praying you have a peaceful week.

Shaun

Life

Finally Free – One Year Later

From volunteering to serve on a conference committee in the summer of 2020 – to connecting with the committee leader, Dawn Lieck – to saying “Yes” when asked to write a chapter in the Finally Free anthology – to the book launch and self promotion – to where I am today – it was all orchestrated by God long ago. Long before I began blogging. Long before I wrote my first journal entry. Y’all, God already had a plan. Isn’t He amazing!

A few days ago, I was searching though old jump drives for a picture and found one of my “progress” videos (I create videos to document my goals and progress). Well, this particular video was missing from the group of videos I have created and saved over the years. It was dated November 24, 2014 – wasn’t my first video but somehow it never made it to the folder with the rest. In this video, I talk about writing a book someday. Honestly, I don’t even remember ever thinking about actually writing a book. I know over the years people have told me that I should write a book, but in this video I said I would. Wow!

Lately, everyone’s been talking about manifesting their dreams. Well, I guess I have been manifesting mine all along. All while I have been watching God work in others’ lives and celebrating their successes, He’s been working in mine. Yes.. I’m tearing up. Y’all, I’m so humbled and grateful for everything God has done in my life and is currently doing. Most of the time it seems like life is just drifting by, but when I look back I realize so many wonderful things have happened and even more is happening. Y’all, I really do love life!

Before I end, I wanted to share my Facebook post from a year ago – January 21, 2021:

Sooooo grateful for Hootsuite and WONDERFUL family and friends! I haven’t eaten breakfast or lunch. Today of ALL days, I’m super busy. Thank you all for the support and making this day so special!! Digital copies are available TODAY ONLY for $1.99 through Amazon. (See link in original post.) If you would like an autographed copy, you can purchase it through my website- LaShaundreaB.com.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SHARES!!!🥰😭❤️

Y’all, I’m still not sure where this new chapter of life is taking me. At times it feels a little overwhelming because the ideas keep coming. Thankfully, I’m finally learning how to manage and prioritize them, but it’s still a lot.

The book experience gave me a glimpse of what true freedom looked like and what I was capable of doing. Now that I am finally free, I can’t go back to the way things used to be. Nope, I just can’t. Right now.. as I type.. I know God is writing. Yes, He’s either writing or editing my story. Smiling because I know God already knows I’m not going to stick to the script. Lol. I’m pretty sure He’s written several different versions to get me where I need to be. Y’all, I can’t wait to see how it all plays out. Again, I really do love life!

Anyhoo.. thanks for reading. Wishing you a wonderful Friday and fabulous weekend!

Shaun

Life

Trying to Understand Why?

Yes, this is my second time writing today. Had to get this off my chest and see if anyone can help me understand, “Why?”. Why is it so difficult for some – not going to say most or all – men to dissociate their child from the child’s mother? Here’s my story:

After several attempts at watching Christopher Nolen’s A Christmas Wish, I finally finished it. For me, it was unbelievably difficult to watch because I felt like I was the mom in the story having to provide for a child without conditional financial assistance from the father. You see, the father (ex-husband) in the story refused to pay child support, but said he would provide everything the child needed if and when she asked. This was the first issue I had. The next was the father’s plea to the mom – “Why don’t you let me take care of you? You know I still love you.” Which brings me back to my original question, why is it so difficult for men to see the mother and child as two separate individuals? Why couldn’t he take care of the child without associating it with his love for the mom?

After I had my daughter, I refused to ask her father for child support. I was not going to beg him to take care of his child. Plus, just like the father in the movie, he kept saying he wanted to take care of both of us. He wanted us to be together. But he was already with someone else. And when I refused, he decided not to provide for her. He told me if I needed anything, to just ask. Well, I didn’t. I believed if he wanted to take care of her he would do it on his own. I mean, mothers don’t have a choice. We do it whether the father is around or not. Well, after a couple of years of my mom telling me I needed to put my pride aside and seek support for my daughter, I did. I filed for child support before I left for Turkey. The agency reported that they were not able to locate him. Then a few months after arriving in Turkey, I received a letter from him stating if I wanted support, he was going to seek joint custody. My daughter was three years old and had never laid eyes on him nor spoken to him. Not because I would not allow it, but because I chose not to be with him. Y’all, he never even spoke to my baby! From birth, I kept him and his parents informed about her progress. I sent pictures. I wrote letters and neither him nor his family made an effort to have a relationship with her. So there was no way I was going to give him joint custody just to receive a check. So, I chose to raise her on my own.

Fast forward to today and my now ex. Almost the exact same scenario. I’m not going to lie, it hurts. Never in a million years did I expect it from him because he knew what I went through with my daughter’s father. So yeah, watching the movie was very difficult. The pain is still very fresh. In the movie, the little girl’s wish was for them to be a family again on Christmas Day, and of course it happened. Well, up until two years ago, I did the family Christmas thing, but ended it because it only gave my ex false hope of us getting back together. Before the next Christmas rolled around, I informed my son that we were no longer going to spend Christmases together. This was also after finally being granted the divorce after over four years of waiting. And guess what? My son was actually okay with it.

Even though it took me several attempts to get through the movie, I did it. It may seem insignificant to you, but it’s an accomplishment for me. Y’all, I really didn’t think I could do it. It hurt too badly. At times I found myself yelling at the television begging the mom not to take him back. Yeah, it was painful to watch.

Here is my takeaway from the movie, or what I needed to come to terms with. Yes, some people settle for package deal because that is what works for them. And guess what? It’s okay. Me, I did not accept the package deal so I must accept the consequences of my actions. Lastly, I have to let it go. My son is 18 and my daughter is 26. There has never been a time in their lives that I was not able to provide for them or did not ask for help when I really needed it. I can no longer beat myself up over the relationship/lack of relationship they have with their fathers because I chose not to accept the package deal. Yes, it’s time for me to let it go.

After I had my daughter, I would often ask her father why he could not take care of her without taking care of me. He said because he loved me and all of us should be together. I’m still bewildered.

If anyone has the answer, please let me know.

Shaun