Yesterday, I was on the road for a few hours and instead of listening to my favorite playlist, I decided to listen to Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts’ message, The Undoing. Little did I know, I needed to hear it. Y’all, it is so true that God sends messages at the right time. Over the past few weeks, God has been working with me on 1) completely trusting Him and 2) keeping things between the two of us sacred- yes, sacred. As many of you know, I believe in being transparent. Well, my transparency often leads to over sharing, which I am finding isn’t always good.
Honestly, I believe this is going to be one of the hardest things I have done, but I know it is necessary. As Pastor Sarah suggested, everything I have become accustomed to doing has to be undone. Everything has to be undone before I can move to the next level.
Building a stronger relationship with God.
Enjoy The Undoing!
It’s not Wednesday yet so I won’t put this under my Wednesday Writings. Earlier I posted a quote from two years ago. At the end I noted how it took me two years to take the leap. Yes, two years to finally start living the life I had always dreamed of. Which was and is true. However, I never imagined living out my dream alone– meaning without a companion. Being transparent and honest.
Really, what good is living your best professional life if your personal life sucks? Don’t get me wrong, y’all already know I love my babies but it’s not the same as having a man in my life. I know I could go get one. Yep, there really are plenty available. I’m just afraid I’ll choose the wrong person again. So afraid that I won’t even allow anyone in.
People have suggested that I date several guys until I connect with the right one. The crazy thing is, I don’t even know how to date. Y’all, I have never dated before. Well, not the dating they refer to today. Back in my day, “dating” was considered talking. What’s now considered “committed” is the only dating I know. Then there’s connecting with the right person. My first boyfriend was the only one who pursued me. The others, I did the pursuing. Trying not to go that route again because as I said, I don’t choose well.
So what should I do? Where do I begin? I’m always joking about God delivering him to me, but that might just have to happen. I don’t trust anything online. Guys are always sending me messages, but I don’t respond. How am supposed to know if the person on the profile picture is the same person I’m having a conversation with? Then there are online dating sites. I heard most sites are hook up sites. Not into that. Might meet a stalker. I recently watched a movie about speed dating. Now that I could probably do. It seems fun until you meet that one clingy dude that you don’t like but they like you but won’t leave you alone. Ugh!! Yep.. guess I’m not ready to date. Maybe I just need a friend. But that could also get ugly. What if I fall for the friend and he doesn’t want me? Or vice versa? Whew!!
I guess I’ll be alone for a little longer. Maybe I’ll meet someone at Target. Or at the airport. OR at a restaurant- because I’m always eating.
I just want someone I can share my dream with for the rest of my life. Yep… that’s what I want. It’s no fun doing it alone.
Well, thanks for reading another one of my random blogs.
Good Night. Consider this my Wednesday blog unless I wake up and feel like sharing something else. Not going to proofread. Too tired.