Wednesday Writings

It’s a little after 3:00 AM and since I’m up, I’ll write. I have so much on my mind. Isn’t it interesting how no matter how much you try to clear your thoughts, even through meditation, when you’re finished, everything comes rushing back. No matter how many inspirational videos I watch, messages I hear or pep talks I get, there’s always one or two things always nagging me. After writing that last sentence I heard, “Where is your faith?”. Interesting…

It’s interesting because there have been times in my life where my faith was so high that nothing around me bothered me. Then there have been times, like now, when my faith has been exhausted. Exhausted

Y’all, I really need to get away. I’m not used to being so still. One thing I miss about life before COVID, is being able to travel freely and interacting with people. I’m not going to lie, the pandemic did a number on me and I have yet to recover. It’s like I don’t know how to jump back into the game.

Last night I was talking to a friend and she told me about odd jobs she’s taken on just to do something different outside of her full-time job. While we were talking, I considered doing the same. Then when I got off the phone, I was like, I love the flexibility of my life. I can’t even see myself tied to an 8-5 or any kind of rigid schedule. I like creating my own schedule. Funny thing is, when I did work 8-5, I created my own schedule. Had been for years. Outside of scheduled meetings, I was free to operate as I pleased. Looking back, I was pretty spoiled. Now, I can’t even imagine myself working like that again. (Shaking My Head)

Yeah.. times are weird. I thought I would have Nutrition with LaShaundreaB fully launched by now, but life happened. And every time I think about “life” happening, I think about if I was working like I had planned, I wouldn’t have been able to take time off to care for my parents.

Yeah.. life is interesting. I know this is only one small moment in time that my faith is low. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. I mean, I had been on an emotional high for over a year and a half. Maybe it was too high.. if that’s even a thing.

So.. where is my faith?

Umm… I think it’s time I go find it. The good part is, I don’t have to look far or find inspiration or encouragement from some outside source. I have tons of journal entries full of encouragement and acts of faith, love and blessings. I’m sooo grateful God made me who I am. Even though I hate being a loner at times, He’s made it so that I will always be able to make it even if I am alone. It’s times like this that I wish I had a boo to talk to. (Sigh) Again, life!

Thanks for reading another round of my early morning ramblings. Now, let me go read a few journal entries because I hate being in a funk.


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