Life

Wednesday Writings

Obedience. The definition of obedience is – an act or instance of obeying (following the command or guidance of).

As many of you know, I have been on this journey of completely allowing God to lead; to follow his guidance without wavering. Well.. just imagine how that’s going. Sigh

So, there is this little thing called free will, which is the ability to act at one’s discretion. Well, I’m finding free will isn’t always my friend. During this journey, free will has popped up numerous times and continues to pop up whenever – 1) I don’t believe God is moving fast enough or He’s moving way too fast; 2) I believe things are going in the wrong direction; or 3) whenever I flat out don’t want to follow His instruction. Y’all, sometimes free will is a pain and often delays blessings. Ugh!

Last night I was given specific instructions to leave a certain matter alone, to allow God to work so that I could see His glory. Y’all know I love watching God work! Well, that didn’t happen. I kept picking at it. Checking to see if progress was being made. Kind of like putting a bandage on a wound and removing it every couple of hours to see if it’s healing. Uhh.. It won’t if you don’t leave it alone. So, this morning I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t leave things alone. I went in and started manipulating things. I was like, “God, I’m just gonna do this one little thing then give it back to You.” And that’s exactly what I did. And guess what, I feel like I have failed another challenge. Not in a shameful way, but in a way that has me regretting my decision. However, at the same time, I still have the desire to do better. I just have to know how things will turn out if I allow God to lead.

Okay.. y’all, I just had another “Aha” moment. Imagine going into a lab, starting an experiment and when the experiment isn’t moving along fast enough, you decide to manipulate the process. Guess what?! You just altered the outcome. You will never know what could’ve been had you left it alone.

Slowly but surely, I’m learning. If I am going to allow God to lead, I must be obedient. Period.

Thanks for reading! Hope you have a lovely Wednesday!

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Happy Hump Day! It’s Wednesday again. The second Wednesday of the year, to be exact.

Feeling some kind of way this morning because I am not really feeling anything at all. I don’t feel happy, sad, excited, mad, nothing. As my son would say, “Meh.” Not sure if that’s a feeling but that is exactly where I am.

Usually, by this time of the year, I have created a vision board, made a “progress” video (I make short progression videos at least twice a year where I talk about my goals and things I have accomplished- believe I only made one last year) and have written at least ten journal entries by now. Well, I have not done any of it. So far I only have three journal entries for this year. I know, I blog and make social media posts, but it’s not the same. Five years from now, I need to be able to find out what I was doing on a particular date and without it documented, I will never know. Maybe it’s not as important as I am making it out to be. Maybe I just woke up in my feelings, or with the lack of feelings. Nah.. I’m definitely feeling but unfortunately I don’t have a name for it.

This morning, while going through my Facebook memories, I found this gem, which is more than 30 years old. I shared on Facebook in 2016 with the following caption:

My 12th grade English teacher gave me this 20+ years ago. It inspired me then, and continues to inspire me today. 💗

My Inspiration

Everyone in our class received cards from Ms. Tressin, but mine was special. Looking back, she saw something in me that I thought was hidden from the world. She knew I was a dreamer.

Maybe that’s what I am feeling this morning. I have imagined it. I have dreamed it. And yet, here I am thirty years later still chasing the dream. Or am I? Y’all, I believe I am having an “Aha” moment.

So… transparent moment… if you have been following me since last April, you know that I resigned from my job in pursuit of fulfilling my dreams. Well, over the months I have felt like a boat without an anchor, being tossed all over the place. When I resigned, I had no plan, no real direction about where I wanted to go. All I knew is, I was free! Hadn’t felt that free since I was in high school. I felt like I had the opportunity to begin again. However, I had too many years of education, degrees, and experience to just throw it all away. Plus everyone kept making suggestions about where I should be or could be heading. So, I felt compelled to continue along that path. Exactly like a high school senior! Wow!! Well, to be honest, every time I attempt to do it, I feel trapped. I know what to do to make it work. I have done it for years, but it is not where my heart lies. So far I have wasted money on trying to pursue things that would make me money but my heart has not been in anything I have done. Yeah.. it all sounded good but my heart kept screaming “NO!”

Here’s what I truly want at this moment in time, and what I wanted when I resigned. I want to be the best mom I can possibly be. I want to be able to spend as much time as I possibly can with my children. Right now I have no desire to pursue a career and be a mom. I just want to be a mom, create memories, share inspirational thoughts and spread love, kindness and hope throughout the world. Sounds pretty flower-childish, doesn’t it? Lol! But that’s what I want to do! And guess what?! It’s exactly what I have been blessed to do. I am living off of less than I have ever made and I’m okay. Question is, shouldn’t I want more?

Maybe I’m thinking too much this morning. This probably should have been a journal entry. Lol. But here it is, my first random rambling of the year. Not going to delete any of it. Just gonna publish and keep going. Everything will work out.

Hope you have a wonderful day!

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Here is another awesome post that I found amongst my Facebook memories.

Facebook memory – December 22, 2018

In response to a quote by xonecole: “Don’t go back to less because you’re too impatient to wait for more,” I wrote:

Happy Saturday!! Here’s today’s social media find. As Joe [from Tyler Perry’s Madea movies] would say, “Don’t do it. Don’t do it.” Don’t you dare look back and miss out on what’s to come! Believe me, God is working. He’s ALWAYS working! Now, do your part and be patient.🤗 Y’all be blessed.💕 Wait. God’s got you. Your blessing is coming. Don’t look back. Don’t settle. Goals for 2019.

Well, 2019 was a year of so many highs and lows – moments of happiness, anger, euphoria, sadness, loss and depression. It is one year of my life that I absolutely hate revisiting. But as you can see from my post in 2018, it was also one I was so looking forward to. Little did I know, those high, euphoric moments would help me through some of the worst moments in my life.

Now, here I am three years later, still not settling, refusing to go back to what was, and moving forward. And yes, I am still waiting for whatever and whoever God has planned for my future as well as to fulfill His purpose. Without a doubt, I know the best is yet to come. As Bishop T. D. Jakes often says, what God has for you will not be found in what you left behind. It will be found in what is in front of you. Eyes forward.

God’s got me.

Thanks for reading! Wishing you and your families peace and joy.

Be Blessed

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Facebook Memory: December 15, 2018

Last weekend I was in some kind of mood. I kept crying. I felt lonely (but didn’t want to be bothered- lol). I was fed up with school and didn’t feel like completing an assignment. I mean, I was feeling some type of way. Then God began to remind me of His goodness and blessings. At first I wanted to stay in that funk (yes, I was having a real good pity party😆), but it didn’t last long. God let me know that I had so much more ahead of me. I just had to take the first step towards moving forward. That step was to acknowledge His greatness. It’s amazing what can happen when we acknowledge God for who He is– OMNIPOTENT! Whew!!💃🏽 As Pastor [Joel] Osteen says, your chapter doesn’t end here. Turn the page!
PUSH: Pray Until Something Happens

What a word!! So, this particular chapter did not end as expected. It’s okay. Please let go and turn the page. God has already blown your mind many times before. Just imagine what He has waiting in your next chapter.

Of course you will never know if you don’t Turn The Page!

As always, thank you for reading. Wishing you a wonderfully, blessed week!

Shaun