The last few days, actually months, have been quite challenging. Not sure if this is the most difficult season I have had to endure, but it’s pretty close. Although things have been a little crazy, I personally believe I am handling things well. I know that if any of this would have happened a few years back, I would have had a mental breakdown. Thanking God for growth. Thanking God for the smaller challenges – the ones I did not believe I would make it through – they prepared me for what I am facing today.
I believe I am doing better this time around because I am only focusing on, as well as holding on to, things and relationships that are most important to me. They are keeping me afloat.
I pray you are focused on what’s most important in your life. Love you!♥️
A few moments ago, I liked a tweet that said, “In this very moment, my life is perfect.”
In this very moment, my life is muddled.
In this very moment.
It’s kind of difficult to explain. I feel somewhat detached and alienated from the world. I can hear people saying, “Hush, don’t tell anyone how you really feel. Keep that to yourself. You’ll get over it.” And I will get over it. I always do. However, in this very moment, this is my life and this is how I feel. Honestly, I’m not even sure how I got to this point. My goal was to block out distractions and focus on my business; but it seems like the more I do, the more I feel alone.
Today is my designated wellness day. I believe I need to take it. No work.
Why did my heart just drop when I wrote “no work”? It’s like I cannot afford not to do anything.Ugh!
But, yes, today I just need to be. Wish I could go on a picnic or to the beach. I need to be one with nature. I need to really connect with God, and I can’t do it from where I am. Plus, today it’s too rainy and too cold to be outside. Sigh
I’ll talk to y’all tomorrow. I promise it will be something uplifting. Enjoy your day.♥️
Happy Wednesday! I’m not going to keep you long. Wanted to share a snippet of a Facebook memory from a few years ago.
Facebook Memory: January 18, 2019:
I came across a quote that read, “Stay the Course.” Y’all, we have to stay the course because so many blessings are awaiting us. Even if you’re barely hanging on by a thread, don’t let go. Hold on to that one pinch of hope. God is working and everything will work in your favor.Don’t Give Up
Listen, do not give up. God has a way of making everything fall into place. So, stop stressing. Stop trying to figure things out. Go on about your day doing what you do – minus the stressing – and allow God to do what He does.
Today is the first Wednesday of the year! Which means I have well over 100 (closer to 200) more Wednesdays of writing. I know it sounds like a lot, but I can do it. I will get it done. Smiling
Not really sure what I want to write about today. Yesterday, I realized I didn’t do an end of year review for 2022. So many people had posted wonderful videos recapping their 2022 and I didn’t post a thing. Even on New Year’s Eve, I only posted three things that really summed up my entire year – I conquered fears, found myself again and released control. And truthfully, that about sums up everything that happened last year.
This year has already started off differently than past new years. This year actually feels different. It’s like I’m seeing things differently. It’s as if my entire life is changing before my eyes and I actually feel it happening. Honestly, it’s the most present that I have ever been. Maybe it’s the awareness that I’ll be 50 this year. Maybe my entire being feels it. It’s so hard to describe. It’s such a wonderfully, strange feeling.
At some point during my teenage years, I imagined myself living two drastically different lives – the first 50 years and the remaining 50+ years. As you can see, I have always seen myself living a very long life. Smile. The first half was for… Y’all, basically it was for doing what I have done – find myself and retire. Y’all, that was just an “Aha” moment. At the time that I declared I would live two lives, I didn’t refer to it as “finding myself.” I always thought of it as this exploratory phase. During my first 50 years, I would take chances and try different things until I discovered what I liked and didn’t like; what I wanted to do and didn’t want to do. Then I would take all of this information and experience and decide how I wanted to live the second half of my life. Listen!! You don’t have to believe me, but God will give you exactly what you ask for and most times you don’t even know He’s doing it. Sitting in awe right now! It wasn’t until late last year that I even realized I retired before I was 50. For some reason, I hadn’t really recognized my retirement from the military as the “retire before age 50” that I had asked for. When I tell you God forever amazes me!
So, Year 50 is loading. Although I still have several months to go, I can already feel the change taking place. I know most of you reading this probably think I’m crazy, but I am so serious. My life is changing.
I know how I imagined myself living the second half of my life. Not going to share. I don’t have to speak it into existence because I already spoke it decades ago. I’m just going to take it all in and let it happen.
Well, I guess you can also mark this as my first “random rambling” for the year. As always, thanks for reading. Remember to stay present and your day!♥️
I was just scrolling through my Facebook memories and came across a few pictures I had shared from one of my basketball card collections. Y’all, it’s so ironic that this post popped up today because I have been thinking about parting ways with my cards… with a lot of things.
For a little over two months now, I have been slowly packing up my mom’s house. I never knew how much stuff she had. How many sentimental things she had been holding on to. Listen, it was a lot.
Well, this got me to thinking about some of the things I’ve been holding on to. Things that are very dear to me. Although my sisters and I kept a lot of my moms things– even though we had no real connection with them– will my children do the same? Would I want them to? They already think I hold on to too much, and I think they might be right.
After going through Momma’s things and having to decide what’s worth keeping, selling or trashing, I believe it’s time to let a few things of my own go. My two have told me countless times that they do not want their baby items, preschool drawings or their baby teeth. Laughing. So why am I still holding on to them? Y’all, I have things like their first pair of shoes, the outfits they wore home from the hospital. I also have baby bottles, bows, and stuffed animals. And y’all, don’t get me started on all of the books and VHS tapes I kept. And that’s only their things. Sigh. I have over 30 years of my own things that I have kept. Y’all, I still have my laundry bag from basic training. Why?!! Shaking my head, laughing. It’s definitely too much. So, before this year ends.. which is soon.. I need to decide what’s continuing on with me and what has to go.
Questions: Have you ever had to part ways with sentimental items? If so, how did you do it; and how did you feel afterwards? Do you regret it?
Well, this is all I have for today. Next week we will be in a new year. How exciting!
Y’all, I had some kind of day yesterday. I’m not going to go into details, but it ended with me verbally declaring over and over, “I will not be defeated! I AM a child of God.” By the end of the night, the things I was stressing about had disappeared. Well.. they hadn’t actually disappeared, they were definitely still there; however, I no longer felt overwhelmed.
HA! That was yesterday…
Honestly, I have no idea why I check my emails at 3:00 AM, but I do. Ugh. It’s definitely a habit I need to break. Well, this morning I opened my email and the very first one hit me like a ton of bricks. Whew! Unlike yesterday when I allowed things to get me all worked up, I immediately began declaring – again, verbally – that I AM a child of God and I WILL NOT be defeated!
Y’all, I truly believe words have more power when they’re spoken, when they’re released into the universe. Now.. this goes for negative words too. So, be careful of what you release.
Today, at this very moment, I am declaring —
NOOOO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME WILL PROSPER! I AM A CHILD OF GOD AND HE’S GOT ME!!
Listen, if you’re also going through some things, please feel free to make the same declaration, verbally. Change it up however you like. Just make sure you get it out into the universe.
Well, there’s nothing I can do right now about that email so I’m going to publish this blog and go back to sleep. God’s got me.