Happy Wednesday! I’m not going to keep you long. Wanted to share a snippet of a Facebook memory from a few years ago.
Facebook Memory: January 18, 2019:
I came across a quote that read, “Stay the Course.” Y’all, we have to stay the course because so many blessings are awaiting us. Even if you’re barely hanging on by a thread, don’t let go. Hold on to that one pinch of hope. God is working and everything will work in your favor.Don’t Give Up
Listen, do not give up. God has a way of making everything fall into place. So, stop stressing. Stop trying to figure things out. Go on about your day doing what you do – minus the stressing – and allow God to do what He does.
Although we’ve reached the end of the year, 2022 is far from over. Whatever goals you set at the beginning of the year are still doable. Keep leaping! Remember, with God ALL things are possible.♥️ ~ Shaun
James 2:14,17 NKJV (14) What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? (17) Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
Today, I would like to share a Facebook memory about faith. A moment where I spoke, believed and acted (worked) on my belief.
Facebook Memory: November 6, 2020 – My response to a video Tabitha Brown had shared.
Good Morning! Here’s today’s social media find! Listen, how many of y’all can relate to Tabitha’s story? I know I can!! Never stop believing!
Short story– Before I moved into my present home in 2018, my kids were even speaking things as though they were so (yes, having faith is contagious). In December of 2017, out of the blue my daughter said, “This time next year we will be in a new place.” Y’all, we, including my son, claimed it and started celebrating like we were already in another place. By August 2018, I hadn’t even found a place. However, I told my son that by his 15th birthday, which was at the end of September, we would be in a new place. Y’all, we moved into this house the day before his birthday. That’s faith! Listen, you can’t tell me what God can’t do! If it’s in His will, He’ll move mountains so that you can have it! Whew!! Tabitha got me fired up this morning. Lol! Have a blessed weekend.
Two years later, I purchased the house. Which was another act of faith.
Yesterday, Tyler Perry celebrated 30 years in show business. He posted pictures of four different studios – from his first to present – along with the caption: “Remember… wherever you start doesn’t have to be where you end… Never despise small beginnings. It takes a while to build a dream.”
No lie, not even an hour later while looking for something, I came across my first passport. Y’all, that stopped me in my tracks. I hadn’t seen that passport in ages. Couldn’t even find it when I applied for my current one. Couldn’t even remember if I had ever had one. That’s how long it had been. Of course I became emotional because y’all know I’m emotional. (Smile) For me, Tyler’s post and me finding the passport was very significant.
You see, I got my first passport when I was 17 years old. I had just graduated from high school and had planned to spend my summer in the Dominican Republic to become fluent in Spanish (only stayed a few weeks because I couldn’t deal with all of the lizards – shaking my head). My next trip was supposed to be to France to become fluent in French (unfortunately, that never happened). My ultimate goal was to be a translator or interpreter at the United Nations, specifically the Palais des Nations in Geneva, Switzerland. Yes, those were my goals. Those were my dreams. Then, life happened and somehow that confident dreamer/goal setter disappeared. So finding that passport after Tyler’s post was pretty meaningful. While he was celebrating 30 years of achievements towards his dreams, I could only sit and look at where my dreams used to be. The place where I believed any- and everything was possible.
Now, don’t get me wrong, over the past 30 years (a little over 31, to be exact), I have tried to rekindle that same enthusiasm, optimism and confidence. I have also had multiple opportunities to achieve my goals and dreams. Sadly, every time I came close to acting on those opportunities I allowed fear and the feeling of unworthiness to stop me. Like.. Every. Single. Time. I believe they call it, self-sabotage. (Tears)
Honestly – being super transparent at the moment – I was afraid of the unknown and afraid of success – not failure. Yes.. success! In my mind, success was and still is a bit intimidating because you always have to maintain a certain level of success. Like, there’s no room for mistakes or failure.
I also mentioned unworthiness. I did not feel like someone who deserved certain things or to be in certain spaces. Although others believed it and could see it, I couldn’t. Now.. before life happened.. you couldn’t tell me I didn’t deserve the world or could not have or achieve anything I desired. HA! Then, the woes of life came. Seemed like every blow that hit me took away my confidence and feeling of worthiness. Opportunities would come (some actually found me), but I would look at myself, and my situation, and either turn the opportunity down or find an excuse to back out of it. Yep… Life.. My life.
For the past few years, I have been making social media posts about my desire to walk the halls of the Palais des Nations and work with people from different nations. Been manifesting it for a while. Well, within this same time, I have been somewhat preparing for it. Yes.. somewhat preparing. I’m not going to lie, the reason I have not put my all into it is due to some of the same reasons – fear of success and fear of not maintaining the success. With that said, I can happily and humbly say that my issue with feeling unworthy is a thing of the past. Listen, that feeling of unworthiness blocked all kinds of blessings. But not anymore. I now know that I’m God’s child and worthy to be in places and spaces fit for kings and leaders. Now, it’s time to work on the other.
Okay, to circle back to faith. I have faith that one day I will be at the UN. As I did with the house, I set a time frame. That’s what you do with goals right. (Laughing) Then, I worked towards finding a place. I didn’t just sit and wait for the house to find me. I actually had to start looking for a place.
Well, my journey to the UN isn’t going to just happen without me being intentional about getting there. I also have to start accepting opportunities – the right opportunities. Opportunities that could be somewhat uncomfortable or challenging, but necessary to help me achieve my goals.
Today, I’m going to set a time frame, tell my two believers, and then we’re going to believe for it just as we did for the house and everything else that has manifested. Y’all, they really are my faith partners. And they truly believe in me, which makes me feel amazing! Smiling
This is all I have for today. Hope you have a wonderful day and blessed week!
It’s a little after 3:00 AM and since I’m up, I’ll write. I have so much on my mind. Isn’t it interesting how no matter how much you try to clear your thoughts, even through meditation, when you’re finished, everything comes rushing back. No matter how many inspirational videos I watch, messages I hear or pep talks I get, there’s always one or two things always nagging me. After writing that last sentence I heard, “Where is your faith?”. Interesting…
It’s interesting because there have been times in my life where my faith was so high that nothing around me bothered me. Then there have been times, like now, when my faith has been exhausted. Exhausted…
Y’all, I really need to get away. I’m not used to being so still. One thing I miss about life before COVID, is being able to travel freely and interacting with people. I’m not going to lie, the pandemic did a number on me and I have yet to recover. It’s like I don’t know how to jump back into the game.
Last night I was talking to a friend and she told me about odd jobs she’s taken on just to do something different outside of her full-time job. While we were talking, I considered doing the same. Then when I got off the phone, I was like, I love the flexibility of my life. I can’t even see myself tied to an 8-5 or any kind of rigid schedule. I like creating my own schedule. Funny thing is, when I did work 8-5, I created my own schedule. Had been for years. Outside of scheduled meetings, I was free to operate as I pleased. Looking back, I was pretty spoiled. Now, I can’t even imagine myself working like that again. (Shaking My Head)
Yeah.. times are weird. I thought I would have Nutrition with LaShaundreaB fully launched by now, but life happened. And every time I think about “life” happening, I think about if I was working like I had planned, I wouldn’t have been able to take time off to care for my parents.
Yeah.. life is interesting. I know this is only one small moment in time that my faith is low. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. I mean, I had been on an emotional high for over a year and a half. Maybe it was too high.. if that’s even a thing.
So.. where is my faith?
Umm… I think it’s time I go find it. The good part is, I don’t have to look far or find inspiration or encouragement from some outside source. I have tons of journal entries full of encouragement and acts of faith, love and blessings. I’m sooo grateful God made me who I am. Even though I hate being a loner at times, He’s made it so that I will always be able to make it even if I am alone. It’s times like this that I wish I had a boo to talk to. (Sigh) Again, life!
Thanks for reading another round of my early morning ramblings. Now, let me go read a few journal entries because I hate being in a funk.
UPDATE #2: My mom is AWAKE and talking!!! God is soooo good!!! Thank y’all so much for the prayers.♥️
UPDATE: I spoke with my Mom’s ICU nurse a little while ago. She said that my mom actually responded to a few commands this morning. She also held her eyes open for a while. This is all great news!🙏🏽
The past several days have been overwhelming. However, the good news is, my mom is still with us.
As for me, I can’t even begin to describe where I’m at emotionally. Sometimes it feels as if I’m experiencing multiple emotions all at once– frustration, sadness, confusion, and loneliness, then throw in a bit of optimism. Ugh!
Y’all, I’m exhausted but can’t seem to rest. Haven’t had much of an appetite; however, I’m eating because I know I’m supposed to. Basically, I have been forcing myself to eat, drink and sleep. Every time I feel like I have a handle on things, something else pops up.
Yesterday Momma opened her eyes for a brief moment while my sister and I were in the room. Y’all, it felt like a miracle had happened. We were so happy. That was during the first ICU visitation. During each visitation that followed, we expected her to do the same or more but nothing happened. She barely even moved. One of my sisters said we should only speak positively. That negative conversations will only make things worse. She doesn’t want to hear anything other than Momma is going to pull through. Guess what?! This is really difficult to do when you’re the person who has to make the final decisions in case she doesn’t pull through. And that person is me.
Yes, it hurts. It’s painful. It makes me want to scream. ButI’m here. I’m making it. I’m going with the flow. God’s got me. Life…