Life

Wednesday Writings

UPDATE #2: My mom is AWAKE and talking!!! God is soooo good!!! Thank y’all so much for the prayers.♥️

UPDATE: I spoke with my Mom’s ICU nurse a little while ago. She said that my mom actually responded to a few commands this morning. She also held her eyes open for a while. This is all great news!🙏🏽

The past several days have been overwhelming. However, the good news is, my mom is still with us.

As for me, I can’t even begin to describe where I’m at emotionally. Sometimes it feels as if I’m experiencing multiple emotions all at once– frustration, sadness, confusion, and loneliness, then throw in a bit of optimism. Ugh!

Y’all, I’m exhausted but can’t seem to rest. Haven’t had much of an appetite; however, I’m eating because I know I’m supposed to. Basically, I have been forcing myself to eat, drink and sleep. Every time I feel like I have a handle on things, something else pops up.

Yesterday Momma opened her eyes for a brief moment while my sister and I were in the room. Y’all, it felt like a miracle had happened. We were so happy. That was during the first ICU visitation. During each visitation that followed, we expected her to do the same or more but nothing happened. She barely even moved. One of my sisters said we should only speak positively. That negative conversations will only make things worse. She doesn’t want to hear anything other than Momma is going to pull through. Guess what?! This is really difficult to do when you’re the person who has to make the final decisions in case she doesn’t pull through. And that person is me.

Yes, it hurts. It’s painful. It makes me want to scream. But I’m here. I’m making it. I’m going with the flow. God’s got me. Life…

I love you, Momma.♥️

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

You cannot be who you’re going to be and who you used to be, at the same time.

Bishop T.D. Jakes

I shared this quote six years ago. Today, I feel like I’m finally living in the space of where I’m meant to be as well as becoming the woman I’m meant to become. It’s taken me a while to get here. HA! Almost half a century! (Smiling) But I’m here.

Yes.. I am here!

Okay, let me stop and give myself roses for making it thus far because I absolutely deserve them.

You see, I’m so proud of myself for not giving up when times got hard. Oooo.. if you only knew how many times I just wanted to give up and settle where I was. I’m also proud of myself for rolling with the punches. Whew! I’ve taken so many hits over the years– disappointments, heartaches, heartbreaks and losses. Sometimes I stumbled. Sometimes I fell. However, through the grace and strength of God (all Him) I always managed to bounce back stronger than ever. Yes, you best believe I’m resilient!

Lastly, but most importantly, I’m so proud of my relationship with God. Y’all, for as far back as 5 or 6 years old, I have always acknowledged God’s presence in my life. I love my relationship with Him and I love where He’s taking me. Even though I can’t see the entire picture, I can look back over my life and see where I’ve been compared to where I am now, and know my future will be great. Y’all, I’m truly blessed.

So, to refer back to the quote. No, I cannot be who I used to be and who I’m going to be, at the same time. Wouldn’t be honoring God if I did. It’s called–

Maturing

Growing

Evolving

Becoming Me

Thanks for reading and following my journey to becoming the person God’s called me to be. Enjoy your day!

Shaun

Life

Moment of Silence

Today I would like to ask you to take a moment of silence to remember those who have recently lost their lives to mass shootings in the United States (May 14 – 24, 2022):

Buffalo, New York (Supermarket)
May 14, 2022
10 lives taken

Laguna Woods, California (Church)
May 15, 2022
1 life taken

Uvalde, Texas (Elementary School)
May 24, 2022
21 lives taken

Prayers for their loved ones who are heartbroken and confused. Prayers for those who are saddened, hurt and angered by those who fail to recognize and address the racial and ethnical issues we have in the U.S.; as well as the gun violence that continues to plague the United States. As much as I desire to see the good in everyone, I’m actually beginning to believe that some people are incapable of love, empathy and compassion. Because if they were, they would care more about lives than their agendas.

I have to remain hopeful or I will become like them.

Shaun