My life. My world. Love, hope, peace, joy & happiness.
This morning I heard the phrase, “be consistent,” while watching a video. I love one of Merriam-Webster’s definitions– to be marked by harmony. Here is what I have learned about consistency. If your head is in it and your heart is not, or vice versa, despite good intentions, you will not be consistent. Both need to operate in harmony.♥️ ~Shaun
Was looking through Facebook memories and old journals to find inspiration for today’s blog. I could not find a journal entry from this date 20+ years ago, so I decided to include my Facebook post from last year, June 4, 2022.
“Just me being me.🤷🏽♀️😁 Y’all, life is good and God is sooo amazing. I’m so grateful for His mercy and grace. And the way He loves me – INDESCRIBABLE!! Whew! Getting emotional just thinking about it.☺️ Twenty days until #Year49, and I’m going to enjoy every minute because I KNOW #ImBlessed! 🙏🏽♥️”
As I mentioned, I could not find an entry written on this date over 20 years ago. However, I did find several entries between 1991-2002 written either the day before or after June 4. Y’all, I weep for that young lady. She was so lost, hurt and broken. For years, even decades, she accepted any and everything that was thrown her way because she felt unworthy and unlovable. When I tell you her self esteem was shot. I can see now that she was punishing herself for that one decision she wish she had not made. That one decision caused her to enter a downward spiral that led to self hatred and mental abuse. She consistently punished herself by allowing others to misuse and abuse her. She felt she deserved the pain because she had not lived up to the dreams and goals she had set for herself. Y’all, she did not know she could recover. Sadly, it would be decades before she realized that one mistake did not define her and that all of her dreams and aspirations were still in tact.
Now, here I am 20 days before Year 50. As I mentioned last year, I am so grateful for God’s love, mercy and grace. Y’all, it is truly INDESCRIBABLE! Today, I can happily say that my life is drastically different than it was 30 years ago. That young lady is finally a woman who understands that that one decision was just part of her (my) story. Smiling
Year 50 is loading. Excited to see where this next journey takes me.
Shaun
Faith has two main definitions–belief and trust. We believe for things we have yet to see; while completely trusting God to bring His promises to fruition.♥️
Year 50 loading…
Praying you have a fantabulous June!
Shaun
As with favor, God’s protection is real. Be careful not to step outside of His protection to pursue things on your own. Yes, sometimes the wait is long and the pain, deep; however, it really is better to endure the wait than leave God’s protection. Remember, God knows what lies ahead. Stick with God!
Hello World! Sitting here in tears… happy tears. No, nothing miraculous has happened. Just visited my Facebook memories (had been logged off for a few days and about to log back off–loving this peace) and the Hello Sunday I had written last year was the very first post. I am sharing the link to the entire blog, below. Here is a snippet of what I wrote.
Hello Sunday by moi, written on May 29, 2022:
“Yesterday I shared the quote, ‘It WILL happen.’ This morning I checked my Facebook memories and last year, on this very date (May 29, 2021), I posted the exact same thing. Not in blog or quote, but as a response to someone else’s dream/vision. Y’all, at this moment, I’m so overwhelmed with emotions. I can finally see my dreams coming to fruition. My life is nothing like I imagined at all – it’s better!”
Fast forward to the present and nothing has changed outwardly. I’m still living in the same house, driving the same car, eating the same food–nothing visibly noticeable. However, internally… y’all, internally my life is completely different. I wish I could explain the joy and peace I feel within. When I tell you it’s greater than anything I have ever imagined. Y’all, I feel like a completely different person. Listen, if you only knew…
Y’all, God is absolutely amazing. I am truly blessed. My It WILL Happen has actually become, It IS Happening.
Grateful♥️
Shaun
Y’all, I woke up screaming! In my head, of course. In exactly ONE MONTH, I will be 50!!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Last night, I was kind of down. Was thinking about how Momma won’t be here to celebrate my 50th with me. Then, this morning I woke up excited. I’m actually going to be half a century. How cool is that!
Last year, my best friends/sister friends and I were trying to decide what we wanted to do for our 50th year. We thought about RVing across the states and flying to Alaska and Hawaii. Considered stopping in Los Angeles for the BET awards since it fell on my birthday weekend. Like we were really going to get in. Laughing. Cool fact– This year they are celebrating 50 years of Hip Hop!
Well, those were our plans until August happened. After August, the planning ceased.
I was talking to one of my sister friends after Momma died and she mentioned her plans during June and never once mentioned my birthday. That was the first time ever. She has always mentioned my birthday. I understood. I knew she probably thought that was the last thing I wanted to discuss, but I kind of felt forgotten. Anyhoo… that was last week and even yesterday.
Today, I am excited about my birthday again, and I’m so glad that I am. I love celebrating my birthdays and 50 is a big one. Y’all, I will be half a century old. Regal
I love my life and I love how God loves me. Y’all, He will not let me stay down. Yes, I’m blessed.♥️
Wishing you a wonderful rest of the week. Be Blessed
Shaun
Happy Sunday! Here’s a screenshot of a Facebook story I shared two years ago, May 21, 2021. It appears that trusting God, having patience and living in peace is my theme for life. It’s how I operate.
Praying you have a blessed and peaceful Sunday.♥️ ~ Shaun
On another note–It’s been exactly one year since my son graduated from high school. Two weeks ago he finished his freshman year of college. Y’all, I am so proud of him! Can’t believe I have two adults adulting. Smiling. God is good.
Momma–
I cannot begin to describe what I am feeling. I have cried. Smiled. Laughed. And cried some more.
I am truly going to miss you.
Thank you for loving me!
I had written so much more about not wanting to write today. Decided to delete it all. The only thing I needed to do was acknowledge God for waking me up this morning. So grateful that I am still here.
By the way, Queen Charlotte on Netflix is a must see! Although fictional, it is the perfect example of my definition of unconditional love. I loved it!
I love y’all! Have a blessed day.♥️
Shaun
Delirium or dementia or both? We saw it coming, even before she suffered her stroke in August. We noticed the subtle changes but dismissed them; assumed she was just getting old and cranky. Honestly, we thought her mood swings and accusations were quite comical and rolled with them.
During her first hospital stay last fall, we asked the doctor to take her off certain pain medications to stop the delusions. Afterwards, her mental state briefly improved but never returned to normal. In between delusional episodes, we would tell her about her irrational behaviors. She laughed about some while remaining convinced others were still true. Like the time she believed she was hospitalized with dogs. She said at night the ICU became a veterinary. We could not convince her that dogs were not being treated in the ICU. There were also things she accused her nurses and aides of doing that we know were not true. Remember, I stayed with her day and night over a two month period. This was the reason I could not leave her at the hospital alone. She was not all there. Well, over the last several months her mental state and behaviors have only declined.
This most recent bout of delusions has lasted several days, now, and is only getting worse. I had decided I would stay here at the hospital until her mental state improved. Sadly, I’m no longer sure when or if that will happen. I have been trying to roll with it by trying different techniques to keep her calm and cooperative, especially with the nurses. Unfortunately, I have to leave her in a few hours. Don’t want to but I have things I need to do. Plus, I miss my own little family. Right now she’s yelling for me to take my knee off her hand and I am sitting here on the sofa writing this blog. Yeah… it’s a lot. Praying that God protects and surrounds her with a gentle and caring nursing team while I’m gone, or until she can get proper care.
On a positive note, every invisible person she’s spoken to she’s told them the same story– “I was paralyzed for 39 years [actually 24 years] and I just started walking three days ago.” So, she is walking again. How cool is that! The mind is absolutely amazing.
Yesterday she met Keenen Ivory Wayans (not really). She told him about all of her favorite episodes of “In Living Color,” and her favorite character, Fire Marshall Bill. Before they parted ways, she told him her story about being paralyzed for 39 years and recently walking again. She ended with, “It feels so good to walk again.”
Since she’s been in this state, she has not been in any pain, which is a good thing. No pain. No pain meds. Just delusions. Some good. Some bad. I pray that God gives her peace.
Life…
♥️Momma♥️
It’s Shaun’s World 
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