It’s 3:45 AM and I have been awake for over an hour now. Can’t sleep. I seem to have so much on my mind. If you have read my last few blogs, you know I’m going through some kind of transition. Every time I think I have it figured out, or a name for it, things change and I find myself back at square one trying to figure out what’s happening to me.
Am I lonely? Been house sitting for my sister for over a month and a half now with very little physical human contact. Pepé, her dog, provides some company, and as much as she’s grown on me, she’s still not human.
The next question I’ve asked myself is, am I depressed? I know depression comes in many forms. Perhaps I’m experiencing depression and not know it.
Am I bored? Now that one is difficult to answer. I have plenty that’s keeping me busy, but is it fulfilling? And at this moment the answer is, NO!
Before I began writing, I was searching for receptionist jobs. I have never been a receptionist before, but I do have experience with customer service. I mean, that’s what I have been doing almost my entire adulthood, serving others. I’m thinking being a receptionist, even part-time, will fill the need for physical human connectivity. Plus, it’s something totally different from anything I’m currently working on. I need variety in my life.
I can also volunteer, which I plan to do more of when I get back home. Volunteering will give me a chance to interact with more people without a certain time commitment.
As you can see, I have a lot on my mind. How do people make it without physical human contact? I kind of feel like I felt those first few months after the COVID-19 lockdown except my children were home with me then. This time I’m all alone. Am I becoming a recluse?
Perhaps I’m just homesick.
I’m going to go ahead and end here. I’m finally sleepy. I would attempt to review and revise but it probably won’t do any good. Too tired. I just needed to talk. Thanks for reading/listening. Enjoy your day.