My life. My world. Love, hope, peace, joy & happiness.
I’m getting married!
Nah… Not yet.
Just practicing for when it happens.
Have to get the man and proposal first.
Manifesting it…
That’s what I’m supposed to do, right?
Let me quit playing and go to sleep.
Selfie.
No filter.
Good Night
Delirium or dementia or both? We saw it coming, even before she suffered her stroke in August. We noticed the subtle changes but dismissed them; assumed she was just getting old and cranky. Honestly, we thought her mood swings and accusations were quite comical and rolled with them.
During her first hospital stay last fall, we asked the doctor to take her off certain pain medications to stop the delusions. Afterwards, her mental state briefly improved but never returned to normal. In between delusional episodes, we would tell her about her irrational behaviors. She laughed about some while remaining convinced others were still true. Like the time she believed she was hospitalized with dogs. She said at night the ICU became a veterinary. We could not convince her that dogs were not being treated in the ICU. There were also things she accused her nurses and aides of doing that we know were not true. Remember, I stayed with her day and night over a two month period. This was the reason I could not leave her at the hospital alone. She was not all there. Well, over the last several months her mental state and behaviors have only declined.
This most recent bout of delusions has lasted several days, now, and is only getting worse. I had decided I would stay here at the hospital until her mental state improved. Sadly, I’m no longer sure when or if that will happen. I have been trying to roll with it by trying different techniques to keep her calm and cooperative, especially with the nurses. Unfortunately, I have to leave her in a few hours. Don’t want to but I have things I need to do. Plus, I miss my own little family. Right now she’s yelling for me to take my knee off her hand and I am sitting here on the sofa writing this blog. Yeah… it’s a lot. Praying that God protects and surrounds her with a gentle and caring nursing team while I’m gone, or until she can get proper care.
On a positive note, every invisible person she’s spoken to she’s told them the same story– “I was paralyzed for 39 years [actually 24 years] and I just started walking three days ago.” So, she is walking again. How cool is that! The mind is absolutely amazing.
Yesterday she met Keenen Ivory Wayans (not really). She told him about all of her favorite episodes of “In Living Color,” and her favorite character, Fire Marshall Bill. Before they parted ways, she told him her story about being paralyzed for 39 years and recently walking again. She ended with, “It feels so good to walk again.”
Since she’s been in this state, she has not been in any pain, which is a good thing. No pain. No pain meds. Just delusions. Some good. Some bad. I pray that God gives her peace.
Life…
♥️Momma♥️
I know that everything is working according to God’s will and plan.
I know that this time next year I will look back and reflect on how my current situation made me stronger.
I also know God will always have my back because He proves it daily.
Trusting God, always.
I finally understand that life is the process.
Wishing you a blessed day!♥️
Shaun
I do not have much to say this morning. Believe I said it all yesterday. Smile. At the end of the day, I really do trust God. Yes, I get frustrated at times. But who doesn’t? It’s called life.
Here’s the song that is currently on repeat in my mind–Mary J. Blige’s song, My Life. Here are a few of the lyrics.
If you look at my life and see what I’ve seen…
Life can be only what you make it
When you’re feelin down
You should never fake it
Say what’s on your mind
And you’ll find in time
That all the negative energy
It would all cease
And you’ll be at peace with yourself
You won’t really need no one else
Except for the man up above
Because He’ll give you love …
Source: LyricFind
Thanks for reading and have a wonderfully, blessed day!♥️
Shaun
Expect great things to happen.♥️ ~ Shaun
On this day in 2019, I used the hashtag, “Expect Great Things,” in one of my Facebook posts. Sitting here thinking about how timely this message is. Y’all, I believe I have lost all hope of expectation. I used to wait in excitement of things to come. However, lately, I haven’t. Which is very interesting.
The reason I say this message is timely is because last night, while tweeting during a Twitter watch party for former First Lady Michelle Obama’s podcast tour, she retweeted one of my tweets. First she liked one, which had me smiling; then, she retweeted another. It was very unexpected. Whenever I join one of those watch parties, I tend to tweet because I like interacting with other tweeters, not to be seen. Now, I do like the feeling of being recognized, but I never want people to think I’m only there to be recognized. Anyhoo… that was pretty cool! Especially since she’s on my list of favorite people to meet (#4). And I did say that I wished I could have attended the event when she was interviewed by my other fav, Tyler Perry (#5). Several years ago, Tyler Perry retweeted one of my tweets during a watch party, which made me feel giddy. Laughing. So maybe both occurrences make up for me not meeting them in person. I would still love to, but I’ll settle for both memories.
Back to “Expect great things.” Honestly, I do not really know what that is anymore. I used to have an idea, but I don’t anymore. Now when I say it, I find myself saying it to encourage others. To encourage people with big dreams. Don’t get me wrong, my dreams are still here but I have come to the conclusion that they may not happen until I am as old as Abraham and Sarah. Until then, I’m going stay present and whenever unexpected things like a retweet comes along, I’ll cherish and store it with my collection of memories. For now, they are my great things. Smiling
I guess I should count this as a random rambling. Would delete most of what I’ve written, but won’t because I spent too much time writing it knowing I have to be somewhere in less than an hour. So I’m posting as is. Enjoy!
** Had to come back and edit it just a little. Lol! Hit the publish button a little to quickly. Gotta love life. Thanks for reading.😘
Covered by God.♥️ ~ Shaun
You do not have to know where God is taking you; just trust Him to lead.♥️ ~ Shaun
I am learning more and more to listen to that still small voice. Sometimes it’s the things we blow off that matter the most. We do not have to understand the reasoning behind what we hear to do. All we have to do is follow through. Never know who can use exactly what we have been asked, or prompted, to provide. It could be the encouragement someone needs or confirmation of a message. If we truly trust God as we claim, then we should follow through no matter how unimportant it may seem.
Be Blessed
The last few days, actually months, have been quite challenging. Not sure if this is the most difficult season I have had to endure, but it’s pretty close. Although things have been a little crazy, I personally believe I am handling things well. I know that if any of this would have happened a few years back, I would have had a mental breakdown. Thanking God for growth. Thanking God for the smaller challenges – the ones I did not believe I would make it through – they prepared me for what I am facing today.
I believe I am doing better this time around because I am only focusing on, as well as holding on to, things and relationships that are most important to me. They are keeping me afloat.
I pray you are focused on what’s most important in your life. Love you!♥️
Shaun
Never give up on your dreams. Endure the process.♥️ ~ Shaun
Be Obedient
You don’t have to understand the assignment. Just be obedient.♥️ ~ Shaun
It’s Shaun’s World 
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