Tag: momma

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

Today’s Hello Sunday is dedicated to my mother. Still can’t believe she’s gone.

After Momma passed, I found a letter she had written to us, her children. That’s what she had written on the envelope, “Children.” It was sealed with an address label from where she lived decades ago. I did not read it then. Decided to wait and open it when all of us were together. When I tell you I felt like I was in a movie! I had been through her things many, many times before and had not seen the letter until I was about to leave town to go help my siblings make her final arrangements. When I tell you the suspense was killing me!

As soon as our last sister arrived–took her hours to get there–we read the letter. It began with, “If you are reading this letter, it means that the inevitable has happened.” Y’all, we laughed. Only she could make something so serious sound like we were on a crime show.

Well, the letter was very direct. She did not sugarcoat anything. She told us about her life as an adult and her desire to be a great mom. Some things she knew she got right while others she really struggled with because she had us at a very young age. (Note– While she was still coherent, we did tell her that she was a great mom and how much we loved and appreciated everything she had done for us.) One of the things that surprised us was the fact that she had been very ill for a long time. None of us knew this. The reason she had written the letter was because she did not believe she had much longer to live. Now, this was written three years post paraplegia. Listen… I’m here to testify and tell you she lived another 21 years! Y’all, the letter was dated September 18, 2001.

When I tell you God is so good and merciful. There’s nothing like His love and grace. It just goes to show you that we cannot put a time limit on life nor can we give up. We may feel down today and believe this just has to be the end of the road; then, end up living decades more.

Today, I am going to let Dorothy have her final say. Below is a copy of one of her newsletters from The Encourager. I tried to find one from May; however, the closest I could find was from April 2003. While reading it, I could see her in her words written about not being able to walk or see well. That was her. She was describing herself.

Be encouraged. God’s got you!♥️

Thanks for reading. Wishing you a wonderful week!

Shaun

Life

To Cry or Not

Shaun Bradford

Delirium or dementia or both? We saw it coming, even before she suffered her stroke in August. We noticed the subtle changes but dismissed them; assumed she was just getting old and cranky. Honestly, we thought her mood swings and accusations were quite comical and rolled with them.

During her first hospital stay last fall, we asked the doctor to take her off certain pain medications to stop the delusions. Afterwards, her mental state briefly improved but never returned to normal. In between delusional episodes, we would tell her about her irrational behaviors. She laughed about some while remaining convinced others were still true. Like the time she believed she was hospitalized with dogs. She said at night the ICU became a veterinary. We could not convince her that dogs were not being treated in the ICU. There were also things she accused her nurses and aides of doing that we know were not true. Remember, I stayed with her day and night over a two month period. This was the reason I could not leave her at the hospital alone. She was not all there. Well, over the last several months her mental state and behaviors have only declined.

This most recent bout of delusions has lasted several days, now, and is only getting worse. I had decided I would stay here at the hospital until her mental state improved. Sadly, I’m no longer sure when or if that will happen. I have been trying to roll with it by trying different techniques to keep her calm and cooperative, especially with the nurses. Unfortunately, I have to leave her in a few hours. Don’t want to but I have things I need to do. Plus, I miss my own little family. Right now she’s yelling for me to take my knee off her hand and I am sitting here on the sofa writing this blog. Yeah… it’s a lot. Praying that God protects and surrounds her with a gentle and caring nursing team while I’m gone, or until she can get proper care.

On a positive note, every invisible person she’s spoken to she’s told them the same story– “I was paralyzed for 39 years [actually 24 years] and I just started walking three days ago.” So, she is walking again. How cool is that! The mind is absolutely amazing.

Yesterday she met Keenen Ivory Wayans (not really). She told him about all of her favorite episodes of “In Living Color,” and her favorite character, Fire Marshall Bill. Before they parted ways, she told him her story about being paralyzed for 39 years and recently walking again. She ended with, “It feels so good to walk again.”

Since she’s been in this state, she has not been in any pain, which is a good thing. No pain. No pain meds. Just delusions. Some good. Some bad. I pray that God gives her peace.

Life…

♥️Momma♥️

Life

Momma, You Are Loved

Shaun Bradford

Today’s blog is dedicated to my momma. She was admitted to the hospital again last night. I believe this is her third time this month. It’s really a lot.

Yesterday I video chatted with her around 5:30 PM. She was admitted around 11:30 PM.

About 30 minutes before my sister called, I shared a post by Iyanla Vanzant about grief. Seems like I have been grieving for a while now. Some days are just better than others.

I love my mom. We all do. I also believe she finally knows without a doubt that she is loved.♥️

Momma