Time to chase and love on God like He loves on me.
A couple of weeks ago, I came across a blog I had written either last year or a few years ago about how my months seem to flow. In January, everything seems new. In February, I start planning how to execute whatever new ideas I have come up with. March is my happy, kind of carefree month. It’s when I seem to hear God the most. Then April comes… There is just something about April that’s not so shiny and bright. Yeah.. for some reason April is always gloomy. It’s the month where I begin to feel ghosted by God. Like, did He pour so much into me during the first quarter of the year that He has to take a breather and regroup? What is it about April that makes me feel abandoned, alone, and empty?
Thankfully, the blog reminded me of what was to come. At the time, I kind of blew it off. Told myself it was just a phase I went through in the past; that I was no longer in that space. Well, low and behold I am there!
So, how will I handle it this time?
I am going to lean in to God. I am going to pester and praise Him even more. Unlike us mortals, He won’t mind the pestering. Maybe that’s the part that I have been missing. I am supposed to chase Him, not retreat from Him.
Yes… I just need to focus on God and get through this month. May is when things miraculously brightens. Then June happens. June is when I’m the most happiest. Still can’t believe I will be 50 this year.
Let nothing or no one dim your glow. You were born for this. Keep shining!♥️ ~ Shaun
Smile. You got this!
Side Note: Every time I hear the phrase “Keep shining,” I also hear Dionne Warwick singing “That’s What Friends Are For.”
That’s What Friends Are For
Dionne Warwick Source: LyricFind
And I never thought I’d feel this way And as far as I’m concerned I’m glad I got the chance to say That I do believe I love you And if I should ever go away Well, then close your eyes and try To feel the way we do today And then if you can remember
Keep smilin’, keep shinin’ Knowing you can always count on me for sure That’s what friends are for For good times and bad times I’ll be on your side forever more That’s what friends are for
Well, you came and opened me And now there’s so much more I see And so by the way I thank you Oh and then for the times when we’re apart Well, then close your eyes and know These words are coming from my heart And then if you can remember
Oh, keep smilin’ and keep shinin’ Knowing you can always count on me for sure That’s what friends are for In good times and bad times I’ll be on your side forever more Oh, that’s what friends are for
Keep smilin’, keep shinin’ Knowing you can always count on me for sure That’s what friends are for For good times and bad times I’ll be on your side forever more That’s what friends are for
Keep smilin’, keep shinin’ Knowing you can always count on me for sure ‘Cause I tell you that’s what friends are for For good times and for bad times I’ll be on your side forever more That’s what friends are for (that’s what friends are for, ya)
On me for sure (count on me for sure, count on me for sure) That’s what friends are for
Have you ever met someone who you connected with instantly? Like, no bad vibes at all. You know, someone you could be yourself around without feeling judged? Well, I met that person tonight. After talking to her for a while, we discovered that we knew each other through our business pages on Facebook. Once we recognized the connection, we hugged and had a conversation like two old friends. During our conversation, I told her that I had asked God for something specific and that she had provided it.
She left me with a few tasks to complete. Tasks God’s been prompting me to do but I keep putting off. She told me to text her when I finished. For two years I have been struggling with this one thing and in one encounter I received exactly what I needed.
Y’all, trust God. Trust Him to provide exactly what you need. The funny thing is I have heard it all before. However, the way she delivered the message was exactly the way I needed to hear it. I felt like it was actually coming from someone who was like me. We both realized our personalities were quite similar, very carefree and random; and we both trust God to provide all of our needs.
Today I have decided not to focus on what is going on around me. Instead, I am focusing on good memories and positive experiences. Yes, today I am blocking all negative vibes.
Here is an excerpt from a journal entry that was written the day my ex-husband finally moved out of the house. I guess you can say that was the official beginning of the 4+ years of the separation/divorce process. Seems like an entire weight was lifted off our family that day. Yes… that was a good day, a very good day.
Journal Entry: March 26, 2015
“One last thing. Ki and KeShawn got my back if no one else does. Ki keeps me encouraged. It’s nice to have someone to bounce professional goals off of especially when we both have so many. Just talking to her makes me want to do more. Last night when I got in, KeShawn said I woke him up out of a good dream. He said that he was at a restaurant eating coconut shrimp, crabmeat sautéed in butter, lobster, and rice surrounded with eggs and bacon on top. He said he had a tuxedo on and me and Ki had on long pretty dresses. I told him that that sounded great. I want him to dream. I want them to dream. I’m so happy my dreams are in full force again. This time I won’t let them go. I can’t let them go. I saw one more post last night by Joel Osteen- “It’s not over. You’ve got to get in agreement with God. Start dreaming again. Start expecting again.” Hallelujah!!”
Can’t believe that was eight years ago. Forever grateful I am on the other side of that craziness! At times I did not think I would make it, but I did. God is so good.
Well, that’s all I have for y’all today. It just started raining and I need to get ready to get on the road. I’m going to see my mom today. She’s back in ICU. We (myself and my sisters) did get to video chat with her last night before she was transferred. I can’t wait to see her and love on her a little more.♥️
Also, I am heading to see my dad afterwards. I have an event to attend tomorrow afternoon and his house is at the halfway mark between my home and the event’s location. So I get to love on him and my stepmom this evening.
As always, thank you so much for reading. Also, thank y’all sooo much for your kind words and prayers. I really do appreciate you. Please have a wonderful day and enjoy your week!🙏🏽♥️
That was one of the quotes under today’s Facebook memories. As usual, I’m in tears (always emotional).
Several blogs ago, I mentioned that it had dawned on me that I am actually living in my dreams. That, in my 20s, I was too naive to recognize it and took so many opportunities for granted. Do y’all know I could have traveled all of Europe at the drop of a hat and didn’t because 1) I did not want to be there, 2) I didn’t want to travel alone (my boyfriend didn’t want to go anywhere) and 3) I always believed I would have other opportunities. Just reminiscing about how I so carelessly disregarded my blessings and opportunities makes me cringe. I had the world in my hands and didn’t even recognize it. Y’all, I had been given what I asked for – to work for an international company and travel the world – and because it did not come the way I envisioned, I blew it off.
Side Note: So I saw myself at the United Nations. Even saw myself in the Peace Corp. But I never ever considered that the Air Force would provide some of the same experiences. I mean, two weeks after basic training I was in Germany. When I tell you God will give you what you ask for! Whew! It was just a little too much. (Laughing)
Okay… Back to my story.
I will say that my life changed after I found out I was pregnant. It was the strangest feeling (I can still feel it now). It was like the blinders fell off and everything was new. By then, I only had a little over two months left in Germany. I booked two weekend tours – one was a tour along the Rhein River and the other was a tour of the Black Forest. I so vividly remember holding my stomach, which was still flat as a rock, and saying, “Now I have someone to travel with.” And I did.
Wish I could say that after I left Germany I readily embraced my blessings and opportunities, but I would be lying. Three years later, almost to the date, God dropped me in Turkey for two years. One of my dreams was to visit the Mediterranean region. And I was there! Receipts of how God works in my life.
Well, while I was in Germany, there were weekly tours to Cyprus and Greece, but I never went. Sadly, I was placed right there in the area – only a few hours away – and still did not go!! Y’all, I was there two whole years and made up excuses of why I couldn’t go. I did travel to a few places in Turkey, though. However, I didn’t take advantage of all of those opportunities either. I was near most places I had read about in the Bible and acted like it was a common thing to be so close. UGH!!
Okay…
I’m seeing a pattern here…
“Aha” moments all over the place!
I hate that it has taken me so long to recognize I am absolutely blessed. No, nothing has ever happened the way I imagined, but it has and is happening right before my very eyes. This time, I’m living in it!! I’m taking it all in. I will admit, I have missed some great opportunities, but it’s okay. Just like God dropped me in Turkey, He’ll send more opportunities and blessings. However, THIS TIME I’m embracing EVERYTHING!
I am actually living in my dreams! Blessed♥️
Y’all, this is all I have for you today. I pray you are living in your dreams. One way to know is to block out all distractions… you know, the worries, lack of, and negative energy… and only focus on the precious things you have (opportunities, health, family, love, etc.). Are you living in your dreams? I bet you are!
I set out to write about one of the first Facebook memories I came across this morning. It was a quote that read – “If you don’t build your dreams, someone will hire you to build theirs.” My first response was to use it to expound on yesterday’s blog about being at a crossroads. However, I kept scrolling; and I am so thankful I did because I would have missed out on so many wonderful gems.
Y’all, sooo many wonderful things have happened over the past several years, and almost all happened during the month of March. Outside of my birthday month, which is June, March is absolutely beautiful.
So, today, I’m going to keep it beautiful by ending this blog now. I’m afraid if I say more I might tarnish this lovely moment. Just know that I’m beyond grateful for all of my gifts.
Yesterday I shared the quote, “Humbleness is where ego ends and God begins … Humbleness looks good on you.” I actually shared it a year ago and decided to reshare it yesterday. Little did I know that I would need to take my own advice so soon. Ha! I had no idea I would have to put my ego aside and apologize for unintentionally hurting someone’s feelings.
Everything happened so fast. Words were said out of emotions that seemed to pop up out of nowhere. It was me responding emotionally to something this person – okay, it was my daughter – does all the time, which should not have surprised me. However, it did. Y’all, I am not even sure what triggered me, but the way I responded made her feel like she was being attacked. Honestly, I did not believe I was in the wrong. I felt the way I responded was appropriate and justifiable. However, in the end, we both felt hurt.
After taking a step back and replaying the entire interaction, I actually heard what she was saying. I apologized even though I could not fully understand why she was offended. She then apologized too.
I have this wall hanging that reads, “In this house… we never give up, we say I’m sorry, we like to have fun, we give hugs, we are family.” This basically sums up the tone of our household. It is a tone I intentionally set after my divorce; and it is up to me to make sure it stays this way, even when I’m not feeling it.
Y’all, I did not grow up in a household where apologies were made or anyone’s point of view was taken into consideration. If you felt hurt, that was on you. It has taken me years to break this way of thinking. If I want this world to be a better place, it has to first begin at home.
Again, humbleness is where ego ends and God begins.
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