Today has been a very busy day. I have been multitasking nonstop since early this morning. I just paused for a moment to catch my breath and share my afternoon post.
The following is an excerpt from last year’s journal entry. It references another journal entry I made in 2017 when I thought about the advice I would give to my five-year-old self. Here’s what I wrote—
“You’re going to have some good days and some bad days. Sometimes you’re going to feel like giving up, but you won’t. You’re a survivor. See every moment as an adventure. It will help you through the tough times. Don’t be afraid to take chances. Don’t settle for less than what you want and what you’re worth.”
Whew… ALL of that has been the story of my life—not giving up, viewing difficulties as adventures, taking leaps, being a survivor/superhuman, and not settling. Yeah…that’s been the story of my life, but now I’m tired. Now, it’s time to advise little Shaun on how to thrive without being that survivor/superhuman. On how to take better care of herself while taking leaps. And still, never settling for less than what she wants and what she’s worth—this part is nonnegotiable.
On another note…
During a meeting today, someone referred to me as middle–aged. I was like, “Who? Me?” Then I thought about it, I am over half a century old soooo… I must be middle–aged. Smile
Y’all, why am I wide awake like it’s 8:00 in the morning and not around 1:00 AM. Shaking my head. I had basically written a whole book about my Bell Biv Devoe experience only to decide not to share it. Believe me, it wasn’t anything juicy, just more than I needed to share. Anyhoo, I’ll share the Facebook memory that prompted it.
Facebook Memory: August 16, 2014
When I say I was devastated! I must have made that post after midnight because I said they had already performed that night. Well, they actually performed later on that day. The video I saw on the website was an advertisement.
As I said in the post, I had never won anything before winning those tickets. I always refer to them as a gift from God. For years I had wanted BBD or New Edition to perform at one of my birthday parties and the day before my 41st birthday I won tickets to the Jackson R&B Festival. Y’all, I didn’t even know who was performing until after I won the tickets. So, BBD being included in the lineup was the best surprise. Although I had to wait almost two months before I got to see them, it was so worth the wait. Great memory!
Was looking back through my Facebook memories a little while ago. I try not to spend so much time in the past, but that’s where I find a lot of my answers. Saw the following memory this morning, but didn’t pay much attention to it. However, this evening, it caught my eye.
April 18, 2019
As you can see, I had one of my “Aha” moments. This was when I realized I had been making decisions based on pivotal moments in my life.
It was in April of 1994 that I had decided to make a few life changes. Little did I know, life was about to change me. I’ll say it was around this time in April that I had received orders (a new military assignment) to go to Florida. I was about to leave Germany and my trifling boyfriend. Already had in my mind how I was going to be FREE! We had just broken up and I felt like I finally had a handle on life. Well, by the end of the month, and I know the exact date, I was back with him.
Long story, short… I really need to write a book. Maybe in my 80’s or 90’s. That night will forever be etched in my memory. It’s the night he told me he was going to give me what I wanted…a baby. I laughed it off. For over a year I had wanted to be pregnant, but it never happened. Yeah… I was young and naive, but I really wanted a baby. I wanted someone who would love me unconditionally—and she actually does (my blessing🥰).
Six weeks later, I went to the doctor’s office for one thing and left with what seemed to be the worst news of my life, I was pregnant. Y’all, I had already made up my mind that I was moving on. Then…BAM!!
From that day on, even until recently, most decisions I have made have been somewhat based on what happened for me—no longer going to use “to me”—during that time. My baby became my priority. She became my life. Then the divorce happened, and she and my son became my life. Every decision I have made has been somewhat based on them. They have been trying to get me to enjoy life for myself, but I have been hesitant. Honestly, I am not really sure how to live as a single person. However, I believe it is finally time that I learned.♥️
The last three weeks have been mentally and physically exhausting. Like, for real. On most days, I know I was on autopilot—operating without even thinking, doing what I have been programmed to do since childhood (take charge). At least, that’s how it felt. Here’s an overview of what happened:
My sister had a healthy baby boy. Both left the hospital healthy (so we thought). Two days later, she was in the ER diagnosed with postpartum heart failure, then sent home to follow up with a cardiologist. Two days after that, the baby had jaundice.
Before my sister could follow up with the cardiologist, she was back in the ER. This time they consulted with her OB doctor and was diagnosed with postpartum preeclampsia. Which was more accurate. She stayed in the hospital a few days and was released after her vitals and bloodwork were back to normal.
That was my first hospital stay since my mom passed.
While all of this was happening with my sister, my stepmom was having health issues, which were getting worse. She was sick while my sister was in the hospital, but I couldn’t be with both. Had to decide which needed me the most. It was a lot.
Well, last week…last Wednesday to be exact, my stepmom had to have emergency surgery. I stayed with her from Wednesday until Sunday. She was discharged yesterday, but she still isn’t well. It will probably be several weeks before she’s moving around again.
So, that was my last two to three weeks. Oh… and I was still working during all of this. So very thankful for remote work and the ability to make my own schedule. These are truly luxuries that are often taken for granted. Even being single with grown children is a privilege; however, it is also taxing at times. As my daughter advised me, before I jump up and do anything else, I need to be still and take care of myself, first. And I am doing exactly that.
That’s all I have for you today. Wishing you a wonderful Wednesday.
Y’all, why did I fall asleep early only to wake up thinking it was at least 4:00 AM? Laughing. Since it’s after midnight I might as well share a post. Will write my Hello Sunday later. Good Night!♥️ ~ Shaun
Facebook Memory: January 28, 2022
It’s your story and your life. No one knows you better than you know yourself. Be sure to control and PROTECT your narrative. And ALWAYS keep the pen!
P.S. It’s perfectly fine to edit and rewrite. Remember, it’s YOUR story and YOUR life!
Always, always, always keep the pen! Never let anyone else write your story.♥️
Once again my Facebook memories have come through. Laughing. Was going to add what I am about to write to the comment section of one of yesterday’s controversial posts; however, I will add it here instead. It is just too long of a story to add to someone else’s post. I try to be considerate.
Speaking of being considerate, that’s what the controversial post was about. Okay, here is what’s happening on my show, Tyler Perry’s Sistas. So this guy creep, Gary, has been seeing multiple women (because after what just happened I know there are more out there) simultaneously. Well, during last week’s episode, two of them met and one is seven months pregnant! Maybe five…but that’s not the point. She’s pregnant! Long story short, the one who believed she was the main chick, Andi, found out she’s been his side chick the entire time. Baby!!! If I didn’t want to jump through that screen and let Gary have it!!
I had two problems with how everything was handled—1) the way the ladies (sistas) told Penelope (the pregnant fiancée—yep…they are engaged) was way too dramatic and 2) their main focus should have been on Gary the entire time, not Penelope. I really have a problem with women targeting other women with their aggression when the culprit is the man. Anyhoo…they (not really they but Andi’s friend, Danni) cornered the poor girl and forced Andi to tell her that she had also been seeing Gary and had recently (a week ago) ended things with him. Y’all, he bought them both the same things—car, house (one a penthouse) and used the same engagement ring (Andi said “no” so he gave it to Penelope). Just trifling! And to think I had a soft spot for this……. Oooow!!!
Anyway, Andi tells the poor girl about her relationship with Gary and they compare timelines and all. Then, they finally turn their attention to Gary and let him have it. And in turn, Gary basically pooed (trying to keep it nice) all over Andi’s character. Again, I could have jumped through that screen.
Okay…story time…
I have written about my situation with my firstborn’s father before. We were stationed in Germany. He had a pregnant girlfriend I didn’t know about when we got together, but after finding out I stayed with him anyway. I really liked him. Laughing. I even decided to stay with him after he went home on leave and married her. I was hurt. He said he was getting it annulled, and I stayed. When I finally couldn’t take any more of the craziness and decided to leave, I discovered I was pregnant. Ha!! Y’all life can be hilariously cruel at times. Anyway, I got back stateside and went along my merry way as a single mom. So here is where the drama comes in.
One night, after I had gotten off work, I received a phone call from this woman telling she was my baby’s father’s girlfriend. I was like, “Okay.” Then she began to tell me she had been seeing him since he had gotten back stateside. That she was the one who picked him up from the airport. I guess I should add, he was still writing me letters and calling me about the three of us being a family. My baby was about two or three months old at the time. The girlfriend through in the part about her picking him up from the airport because he was supposed to be with me at that time because I was only weeks away from giving birth. He made up some excuse about his mom being sick or something. Nah…she wasn’t sick. Y’all, there is so much more to this story. I know I’ll have to write a book one day.
Anyway, let me not get sidetracked. After she finished telling me her story, she told me she thought she had said too much and didn’t want oh boy to find out what she had done. I thanked her for telling me and told her that I didn’t care if she was telling me out of spite or concern, that conversation would remain between the two of us. Y’all, I really don’t like drama. Plus, she wasn’t the one in the wrong, he was. Well, she told his mom that she had called me and that’s when all hell broke loose. I told her I wasn’t going to say anything. I was going to find a way out of the mess. But no… When I tell you the drama I experienced in my early 20s made me who I am today. I didn’t have, and don’t have, time for nonsense. Everything I experienced hurt like hell, but I knew back then and still know today, God’s got me. Listen, He loves me!!
Anyhoo…that was only a small part of a very crazy story. The comment I left underneath the controversial post said I would have handled the situation by sitting down with everyone involved and had an adult conversation; one without all the drama. Y’all, the scene was a mess. “Tell her, Andi! Tell, her!!” Penelope crying her poor little eyes out wanting to know what was happening. It was a mess! But…it did make good tv. I tell you, if a show doesn’t evoke some kind of emotion out of you, it ain’t a real show!! Baby, I was hot but I was okay by the end of the second episode. The writer’s room redeemed itself. Listen, I was about to boycott the show…until the next episode. Laughing
Well, I believe I have written enough. Can’t believe they celebrated 100 episodes a year ago! I was having all kinds of proud momma-fan moments.
It’s Shaun’s World 
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