Sometimes I re-read past journal entries just to see what was happening on this day a year ago, to several years ago. This time I revisited June 5, 2015. Here is an excerpt from that entry–
“Thanking God for soooo many blessing. Thanking God for allowing the Holy Spirit to intercede on my behalf. Lord when it seems like I just can’t, or don’t believe, You step in.”
What a reminder! I am so thankful that even when I am confused or frustrated.. as I have been these past few days.. the Holy Spirit always intercedes on my behalf. So grateful for my relationship with God.
Yesterday was very long and draining— mentally and emotionally. So, I reinstalled my social media apps with the intention of only posting my blog and managing business accounts. Needless to say, I fell right back into the same trap as before. I could not stop scrolling through the stories. Some of the stories were horrifying– people being tear gassed, looters destroying stores and properties, and people crying for justice. While other stories offered hope– law enforcement officers marching alongside protesters, white friends and colleagues recognizing and denouncing racism, and people being blessed in the midst of this madness. All of it was so overwhelming.
Some time during my scrolling and crying, I fell asleep. When I awoke, I had this song stuck in my head, I Surrender All. Growing up, we would sing it during alter calls (part of church services where people asked for prayer). The song says:
I surrender all I surrender all All to Thee, my Blessed Savior I surrender all
Y’all, I needed this reminder. For the sake of my sanity, I have to surrender all to God. For the sake of humanity, we must surrender all. There is a scripture in the Bible that reads:
“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalm 55:22
I needed to write. Writing helps me process my feelings, especially when I am sad, confused or angry. Up until this point, I have not written anything about George Floyd’s murder, or any of the aftermath. Not even in my journal. Which is pretty odd. I keep telling myself I need to document this. But I have not been able to write. I guess it is because I cannot log off social media. I go from Twitter to Facebook to Instagram, then back to Twitter. The stories are so overwhelming, yet so mesmerizing. It is like I am here, but not here. I need to get a grip.
In the midst of all of my thoughts this morning, a song came to mind. A song that I used to listen to as a child— This Too Will Pass, by the late Reverend James Cleveland. The song says:
I’ve had heartaches like this before, and I’ve had disappointments by the score. I claim the victory at last. This too will pass. The sun will shine, it can’t rain all the time. The clouds are gray, will soon have to pass away.
Guess what– this too will pass. God is working. Brighter days are coming. Be blessed!
This picture only represents a snippet of the relationship I have with my friend, T. Only using her initial because she does not like people in her business. Believe me, I am not crazy! Anyhoo… T and I met in culinary school 20 years ago. Yes, in 2000. Honestly, I do not know how we became friends. She was a comic book collector and loved Fred G. Sanford, Redd Foxx’s character on Sanford & Son. Y’all, Fred was hilarious! So, when I think about it, maybe it was her references to Fred that drew me to her. I mean, not a day went by that she did not say, “You know what Fred would say.” That was 20 years ago. To this day, Fred always ends up in our conversations. ALWAYS!
As with my other friends, I believe our friendship has lasted because we give each other space; or, maybe it is because they give me space. Hmmm…something to think about. Anyway, most people would not believe that T and I live 20 minutes from each other and only physically see each other once a year. Sometimes it is longer than that. We keep in touch through texts. Y’all, I am so happy texting was invented. For real! However, unlike my other friends, T texts me daily. Every morning she texts me a scripture from the Bible, and sometimes she includes inspirational messages. Now, I am not going to lie, I am not that consistent. I might text her something once or twice a week. But she ALWAYS sends me something inspirational, daily.
This morning, she sent the text in the picture along with a scripture. When God placed us together 20 years ago, He knew we would still be friends today. Forever grateful to have her in my life.
Decided to start my day early. I can finally hear birds chirping. I also hear cars driving in the distance. However, things are pretty still and quiet in my house. Well, besides the hum of the refrigerator. You know what… I think I will sit here for a few more minutes and just be. Yeah.. just BE.
Sitting in my recliner watching episodes of Matlock and In the Heat of the Night. I remember watching these shows, along with the Golden Girls, late at night with my grand-godmother, Momma Kate. It was our nightly ritual whenever I visited. I would sit in her bedroom in the rocking chair, while she laid in bed. We rarely spoke. Just watched our shows. I miss those days. Grateful God placed her in my life. So thankful for the wonderful memories.
It’s Shaun’s World 
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