Tag: God

I am so emotional right now. Crying so many happy tears.

Y’all, when I became a mom at 21, I had no idea what life would look like almost 30 years later. I had no idea what kind of mom I would be. I had no idea what kind of child I would raise. All I knew was the kind of mother I aspired to be; however, I didn’t know if I could live up to it.

I was a single mom working mostly 12 hour shifts alternating days and nights, rarely had weekends off and holidays were just another day. I was living in a 700 square foot mobile home and barely making ends meet. At the time, I was living in Florida and my closest family was over 600 miles away. Fortunately, I had my coworkers and a couple of friends I met along the way who I could trust enough to babysit for me. Yeah, that was a big thing for me. I didn’t trust everyone with my baby.

I was this single mom who never missed a day of work, even when my baby was sick. Didn’t want to be viewed as the stereotypical single mother. I had already been called a statistic by one of my superiors. So I tried to be a perfect airman while attempting to be a perfect mom. I had no idea what I was doing. I was just trying to make it.

Now, here we are almost 29 years later and she’s doing the same for me. She’s my biggest supporter. My biggest fan. She’s witnessed all of the good times and all of the bad. Along the way I didn’t know if she would resent me because she didn’t have some of the same opportunities as some of her peers. I just didn’t know.

All I ever wanted was for her and my son to live their lives to the fullest and be kind and compassionate people. Now, don’t get me wrong, they’re outspoken and opinionated (we have great conversations and debates), but they are always respectful.

Y’all, I am still in awe of how God blessed me with these two. It’s been decades and I still look at them with amazement. I cannot believe I am a mother. And I had absolutely no idea that they would love me like they do. As a little girl, I prayed for children who would love me unconditionally (of course I didn’t use that term back then but it’s exactly what I wanted). Honestly, I really didn’t believe it was possible because I had never witnessed that kind of mother/child relationship before. I just knew that was what I wanted. So, while they were growing up, I tried to make sure they knew without a doubt that they were seen, heard, appreciated, and loved. Now they are doing the same for me.

This morning—the reason behind the tears—I received my grades on several assignments from last week, and all had perfect scores. After I texted my two the good news, my daughter sent me money to treat myself to lunch. Y’all, that’s what I used to do for her. Now she’s doing it for me. And that Beyoncé concert! Y’all, I didn’t have to spend a dime. She took care of it all. I know it may not sound like much but it’s everything to me. So thoughtful.

Okay.. enough crying. I have things to do. Just wanted to share my blessing with you.