Today has already been a pretty amazing day. My daughter decided to take this morning off and spend it with me. We talked and reminisced about how much our lives (mostly mine) have changed over the years. I cannot say it enough, God is so good.
By the way, my top two love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. Most of the time we associate love languages with romantic relationships. At least I always have. And I know I’m not the one! Well, today God showed me that what I have been longing for I already have. I have it in my two. He blessed me with two beautiful souls who provide me with both. Smiling. My heart is full.♥️
Sooo… Should I count this as another level of freedom? If not, it’s definitely another level of awareness. I’m really beginning to love Year50.
Keep God first. Not second. Not third. Not as a last resort. First!
Keep Him first in both good and bad times. Most importantly, honor Him just as strongly when you get what you prayed for as you did while you were praying. First!♥️ ~ Shaun
Keep God first and everything else will fall into place.
Seems like the older I become, and the more my loved ones die, the more I cherish people, time and experiences. I try not to take anything or anyone for granted. As the saying goes, “Here today, gone tomorrow.” We never know if one particular moment—encounter or experience—will be our last.
Don’t know about you, but I’m taking nothing for granted. Every moment and every experience is precious. Cherishing them all.
Before I end, thank you for reading my blogs. I truly appreciate you and your time. Love you!♥️
As I mentioned a few days ago, Zhané’s, “For A Reason,” used to be one of those songs I couldn’t shake for a while. Four years ago, it seemed like that particular song and the message, “Everything happens for a reason,” was showing up everywhere.
October 5th…
October 5, 2019 was my brother’s 46th and final birthday. They say time heals, but the pain of his death still stings. It doesn’t hurt as bad as it used to but it still hurts. A few days after his birthday my mom told me that my uncle, who is now running for a state office, had been rushed to the hospital. All I kept thinking was he couldn’t die. We were the same age and basically grew up like siblings. I said I couldn’t imagine life without him. Little did I know my brother was also sick and was about to pass away. Life…
Here’s a Facebook memory from October 5, 2019. Talk about eerie.
Second message this week about everything happens for a reason. So I must make it today’s social media find. Rest assured God’s got you. He already has everything worked out. Just trust Him. Believe me, I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s something we must learn to do. Y’all have a blessed day.🙏🏽♥️
Wow… No words. Didn’t even know what was coming. I did not smile through the tears. I screamed. I hurt. I felt like my life was falling apart. What a time…
Today would have been my brother’s 50th birthday. Life without him just isn’t the same. I miss him.
Just returned home from visiting my dad and bonus mom. My momma – which is what I have always called my bonus mom – is not doing well. She’s telling everyone that she is, but she’s not. I took her to her doctor’s appointment Monday and she was diagnosed with one thing. Then, after we left, she began telling me about another issue she was having, which she failed to mention to the doctor.
When we returned home, I listened as she told my dad what the doctor had said. It took her forever to explain her diagnosis so I went on and told him. However, before interjecting, I waited to see how they typically communicated these issues with each other. Wanted to know what happened when I wasn’t around. From previous events, I knew that neither went into exam rooms with the other so they only told each other what they wanted the other to know. This breaks my heart because I really do not know the extent of their illnesses. The only reason the doctor knew what to check for during this visit was because I provided information that my mom failed to provide. Knowing that I didn’t even have all of the information about her symptoms makes me sad.
I was suppose to come home Tuesday, but decided to stay an extra day to see if she felt any better. Then, when I got ready to leave yesterday, they both asked if I could stay one more day and I did. Today, I didn’t want to leave them. Instead of feeling like I was leaving my parents, I felt like I was leaving my kids. They looked so sad.
Y’all, life is so, so precious and so are relationships. Cherish both. When I first got there all I could think about were things I needed to do so I could get back home. Couldn’t fully focus on my parents because everything I was doing was task driven. Those extra two days put everything in perspective. The message – I was on God’s time. He allowed me that time to be with them and love on them. Over the last few years, God has made it possible for me to be available whenever any of them (including my late mom) needed me. Believe me, I know that I am blessed. I know there aren’t too many people who can just drop everything to take care of their parents and not have to worry about things at home. Y’all, when God promised to take care of me, He meant it. So, I must always remember that whenever I have to stop to take care of them, it’s because God has blessed me so that I can do so.
Y’all, love and relationships are priceless. Make sure you hold them very dear. Love you.♥️ ~Shaun
Outside the doctor’s office posing with a giant catfish. I always make time for a quick selfie. Lol😁
As soon as I got to my dad’s and hugged everyone, my sister waited until we were alone to ask if I had found a “boo” yet. Laughing as I think about it because that’s like the first thing everyone asks me. I’m so happy my dad has finally stopped asking. His thought now is that I’m too mean. Now, why would he think that? Laughing. I just don’t have time for nonsense.
With all that being said, I know I have written about being ready to love again, and at times I feel it more than others. However, I am actually good with where I am. No longer in a hurry, especially since it didn’t happen before 50. Yeah… 50 was my deadline for finding love. Now I’m like it happens when it happens.
Back to my conversation with my sister. So she tells me that my ex is in a relationship (she saw it on Facebook). Even though I don’t follow him on Facebook, I know he’s been in a relationship for a few years now. Didn’t think it was worth discussing. That’s his business. Anyhoo, she goes on to say that I can’t let him outdo me. That I need to find me a boo too. Hilarious! Baby, this is not a competition. Shaking my headlaughing.
Just saw this quote a few minutes ago. Basically, it sums up how I feel about being in a relationship.
More than willing to eat alone until then.
Listen, I don’t have to settle for any old table just to keep up with someone else, nor do I have to rush a thing. Just because I am ready to love again doesn’t mean I am desperate. I’m kind of glad God didn’t do things on my timetable because I probably would have settled. He really does know what’s best.
It’s a new month, a new week and a new day. Today’s the PERFECT day to give that project, goal, dream or relationship that didn’t work out before, another try. Yes.. Try Again!
Wishing you a wonderful month!
If it’s something you truly want to achieve, don’t give up, try again.
This message is so timely. Lately, I have circled back to a few things I had given up on. Things that I felt were too challenging and/or time consuming to achieve at the time. Said I would give them one more try before completely giving up and moving on. One day I’ll share… probably after they are achieved or well established. Trying to stop over sharing but remain transparent.
Anyhoo… That’s all I have for you today. Wishing you a fabulous month! Remember to take care of yourself and enjoy life. Love you!♥️
What is most important to you? For me, it’s my family and healthy relationships.
The last few days, actually months, have been quite challenging. Not sure if this is the most difficult season I have had to endure, but it’s pretty close. Although things have been a little crazy, I personally believe I am handling things well. I know that if any of this would have happened a few years back, I would have had a mental breakdown. Thanking God for growth. Thanking God for the smaller challenges – the ones I did not believe I would make it through – they prepared me for what I am facing today.
I believe I am doing better this time around because I am only focusing on, as well as holding on to, things and relationships that are most important to me. They are keeping me afloat.
I pray you are focused on what’s most important in your life. Love you!♥️
Change is not always easy. Sometimes we have to let go of what’s comfortable and familiar in order to get to better. This requires courage.♥️ ~ Shaun
Change is necessary.
Note: It is so important to know where to make changes and how much of a change to make. Over the years, I have learned that some things just need to be tweaked, not completely modified or abandoned.
Fathers, you are loved and very much appreciated.♥️
I hope you are doing well today. I have something I feel the need to write about; however, it is so deep and complex that I feel like I should leave it for another day and time. Save it for when I am not emotionally attached to the subject, at least not as emotional because I feel I will always be attached to it. The subject is fatherhood and fathers, specifically Black fathers, being present and active in their children’s lives while mothers are put in situations where they have to choose what that looks like. Y’all know I love my Tyler Perry shows and this particular subject was brought up in another one of his shows, House of Payne.
As I mentioned, the topic is too deep and complex to tackle without me becoming emotional. However, I would like to say this before sharing a short story. Being a parent is a balancing act between making sure your child(ren) are properly cared for and loved, and you having and maintaining proper self care. And by proper self care, I am speaking holistically. In most cases, we as parents will always choose our children’s wellbeing and happiness over our own.
Short story…
When I decided to get my divorce, I thought about this same subject. What would I be doing to the relationship between my son and his father. My daughter was already out of the house but my son had about 7-8 more years to go. Honestly, I was in that relationship much longer than I should have ever been, even during the divorce process (believe me, it did not have to take over four years) because I was concerned about my son’s wellbeing. Y’all, I never said anything negative about his father in his presence. I was so intentional about not letting my thoughts and feelings tarnish their relationship. Well, a few weeks before my husband moved out, my son (then eleven) asked to have a conversation with me. His father had already told him about the divorce after we agreed we would tell him together. I had no idea. Well, he asked me if I no longer loved his dad and if he would get to see him again. I was honest about both — “No” and “Yes.” When I asked him how he felt about the situation he told me he just wanted us both to be happy even if that meant us not being together. Y’all, I was floored! I don’t know too many kids his age who would have put it that way. Talk about wise beyond his years. When I asked where he wanted to live, he told me wherever his sister would be. Listen, if he would have chosen to stay with his dad, I was prepared to let him do it and pay child support. One thing I knew from living separately from my father and my mom making sure I had a relationship with him was that I would always make an effort to be in my child’s life no matter what.
Anyhoo… That conversation sealed my decision to move forward with the divorce. Had he asked for me to stay with his dad, I would have. I was dying on the inside, but I would have. As I said in a previous blog, the day my ex moved out it was like a weight had been lifted. The entire atmosphere changed. A few years later, my son said he hated hearing me crying. Y’all, I didn’t even know he knew. I didn’t even know he knew I was sad.
Okay… I’m going to go ahead and end this now. I have so many personal and family stories about relationships between children and fathers – me and my dad, my parents and their dads, my stepdads (mom was married three times) and my children and their dads (which I would never share beyond my interactions with their fathers).
Y’all, managing our own lives is already hard. Then throw a child in the mix… Whew! I will leave you with this, a whole parent is able to love and give more than a broken parent. In return, the child thrives. Believe me, I have seen it!
Well, that’s all I have for you today. Tried to keep it light. Going to visit my mom in a few hours. She’s still in the hospital but no longer in ICU. Y’all, life is short, don’t overthink or make things complicated. Keep it simple – love unconditionally and be kind.
It’s Shaun’s World 
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