Tag: relationships

Life

The Storms

Shaun Bradford

Storms are designed to make us stronger. They’re preparing us for something greater.

Moi. October 26, 2022. Facebook Memory

How many of you have experienced storms that you now look back on and know you are stronger because of them? I know I have. Now when I look back, I see how those storms made me a stronger person.

Story time…

Here is one example of a storm I honestly thought I would never make it through. It wasn’t until a recent conversation with my daughter that I realized that storm was only one small part of my life. Guess I should give her credit for that revelation. She reminded me that that was only two years of my life. Now, those two years did have lifetime consequences but they were worth it because she’s here.

So, thinking about the quote above and Karen’s situation on Tyler Perry’s Sistas, here’s a real story.

Back in 1992, I met this guy I was attracted to. I pursued him and we became a couple. (Giving y’all the short version.) Well, about two months into this relationship I discovered I was actually in an situationship—I guess you can call it an entanglement. Yep… I discovered he had a pregnant girlfriend. We were stationed in Germany at the time and the girlfriend was in the U.S. For years I blamed myself for not leaving when I found out. Why the heck did I stay? When I asked him about it (found out through someone else), he confirmed it and asked if I was going to stay or leave. I chose to stay. I mean, I really liked him. Y’all, that ended up being the craziest two years of my life.

A year later, he went home on leave and married the other girl. He blamed his parents for pressuring him into getting married because of the baby. Said he was getting it annulled but never did. He apologized. I stayed. Then just when I couldn’t take it anymore and was about to leave—had just gotten orders to Florida—I found out I was pregnant. What a crazy time. Of course the drama didn’t end there but that’s all I am going to write about. One day I’ll write a book because that was one wild ride.

Now, about Karen and her situation. One night she and her ex, Zac, had sex and now she’s pregnant. She had wanted to get pregnant while they were together but it never happened. Well, now that he’s with Fatima, who’s also pregnant (she announced it on Zatima but the news hasn’t made it to Sistas yet), she’s finally pregnant.

During last night’s episode, Karen let Aaron, the guy she was seeing, go (see my previous blog, Aaron). You see, when she found out she was pregnant she really didn’t know who the father was; however, she wanted it to be Zac’s. Last night she revealed that the baby she’s carrying is indeed Zac’s. We’re still wondering how she found out when she’s only 3-4 (Tylerland) months along. What tests did she have performed? Anyhoo… that’s a discussion for another time. After breaking the news to Aaron, she asked him to leave. Although he didn’t want to go, he left. Sadly, he would have stayed just like me. I guess this is why he’s my favorite. He told her that he didn’t care if the baby wasn’t his, he was still going to be there if she needed him. Even though I was only two months into the relationship when I found out about the pregnant girlfriend, I was prepared to do the same and basically did.

Unlike Aaron’s story (and maybe it’s still being written), my ending had an amazing plot twist. I ended up with the best blessing ever, my daughter. About a year after I left Germany, I found out he had gotten a divorce and that the other baby wasn’t even his. Life…

Those two years of heaven and hell—I can’t lie, I had some really good times with him—produced something so beautiful, my baby girl. Y’all, that was some storm! But because of her, I became a stronger woman.

Side Note: As for our entanglement. His girlfriend knew we were together before they got married. His parents knew. I had talked to all of them several times. Was even sending the baby clothes and gifts. Basically, I was being a stepmom without the marriage. Then, he married her. Broke my heart… but I stayed. He did try to come back after the divorce but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have anyone else but I just couldn’t. Like I said, one day I’ll write a book.

Let me go back to sleep. Lol. Guess I’ll mark this as my first true rambling on this side of 50. Laughing. I am so very grateful God got me through all of that. Can’t say it enough, I am truly blessed.♥️

Shaun

Life

Keep Striving

Shaun Bradford

Facebook Memory: October 18, 2022

Things will happen in life that will make you question whether pursuing your dreams, goals and purpose is even worth it. Guess what? It is! As long as you’re breathing, keep striving for the desires of your heart. DON’T GIVE UP!♥️ ~ Shaun

Never give up!

Life

Finding My Tribe

Shaun Bradford

A few months ago when I declared the next 50+ years would be nothing like the last, I had no idea what was coming. Right before I turned 50, I began noticing areas of my life where I had become stagnant. Where if I did not make adjustments, I would never move forward. After I turned 50 (coming up on 50 yrs. 4 months), I thought I would be happily celebrating all year long; instead, I was hit with more revelations about changes and adjustments that were needed. The only way to describe it is I was being pruned. Everything that was holding me back needed to be adjusted or removed. It didn’t feel good. Even had me questioning God, something that I seldom do. However, I listened and did what I needed to do.

A few days ago, I was thinking about how much my life has changed in only a few short months. No more anxiety. No more comparisons. No longer caring what others think. I finally feel free to just BE.

While watching Jada Pinkett Smith’s interview, it dawned on me that I needed to find people with similar beliefs. For far too long I have been trying to fit in spaces that don’t fully embrace me. I’m not going to lie, it can be emotionally and mentally exhausting at times. Since I do not want to spend the next 50+ years alone, I really need to find my people, my tribe. My daughter is getting married and my son is creating his own path. It’s time for me to continue my journey to becoming who I’m destined to be. I can only do this with the love and support of people who truly understand, embrace, and appreciate all of me.♥️

This is Year50

Shaun

Life

I’m Blessed

Shaun Bradford

I am so emotional right now. Crying so many happy tears.

Y’all, when I became a mom at 21, I had no idea what life would look like almost 30 years later. I had no idea what kind of mom I would be. I had no idea what kind of child I would raise. All I knew was the kind of mother I aspired to be; however, I didn’t know if I could live up to it.

I was a single mom working mostly 12 hour shifts alternating days and nights, rarely had weekends off and holidays were just another day. I was living in a 700 square foot mobile home and barely making ends meet. At the time, I was living in Florida and my closest family was over 600 miles away. Fortunately, I had my coworkers and a couple of friends I met along the way who I could trust enough to babysit for me. Yeah, that was a big thing for me. I didn’t trust everyone with my baby.

I was this single mom who never missed a day of work, even when my baby was sick. Didn’t want to be viewed as the stereotypical single mother. I had already been called a statistic by one of my superiors. So I tried to be a perfect airman while attempting to be a perfect mom. I had no idea what I was doing. I was just trying to make it.

Now, here we are almost 29 years later and she’s doing the same for me. She’s my biggest supporter. My biggest fan. She’s witnessed all of the good times and all of the bad. Along the way I didn’t know if she would resent me because she didn’t have some of the same opportunities as some of her peers. I just didn’t know.

All I ever wanted was for her and my son to live their lives to the fullest and be kind and compassionate people. Now, don’t get me wrong, they’re outspoken and opinionated (we have great conversations and debates), but they are always respectful.

Y’all, I am still in awe of how God blessed me with these two. It’s been decades and I still look at them with amazement. I cannot believe I am a mother. And I had absolutely no idea that they would love me like they do. As a little girl, I prayed for children who would love me unconditionally (of course I didn’t use that term back then but it’s exactly what I wanted). Honestly, I really didn’t believe it was possible because I had never witnessed that kind of mother/child relationship before. I just knew that was what I wanted. So, while they were growing up, I tried to make sure they knew without a doubt that they were seen, heard, appreciated, and loved. Now they are doing the same for me.

This morning—the reason behind the tears—I received my grades on several assignments from last week, and all had perfect scores. After I texted my two the good news, my daughter sent me money to treat myself to lunch. Y’all, that’s what I used to do for her. Now she’s doing it for me. And that Beyoncé concert! Y’all, I didn’t have to spend a dime. She took care of it all. I know it may not sound like much but it’s everything to me. So thoughtful.

Okay.. enough crying. I have things to do. Just wanted to share my blessing with you.

My baby girl. My princess.♥️

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

Y’all, let me tell you how MY God works! Listen! I am forever in awe of Him!!! When I tell y’all He loves me!

Okay… so I was just about to share an entirely different Hello Sunday. Had written about a few things that were on my mind. Nothing deep but some self-reflections I was having at the moment. Then, as I was finishing up, I was reminded of one of the gems I found in my Facebook memories this morning. Baby, when I tell you I immediately stopped writing! Here’s the gem I found. Didn’t know I would need this message so soon.

Facebook Memory: October 15, 2018

‪Good Morning! A friend shared this with me, so I’m sharing it with you. Everyone’s not in your corner. Some people can’t wait to see you fail. But God’s got you!‬

Discernment is so important, as well as listening to that still small voice.

Listen, I was definitely about to share a few of my weaknesses. As the song says, “God blocked it!” Whew!

Y’all, we really have to be careful about what we share and with whom. For years, I have freely shared my stories. I have had one crazily, adventurous life and I love sharing it. With this being said, there are certain parts that I only share with people I feel I can trust, or with those I believe would benefit from those experiences. I mean, other people’s experiences have helped me so why wouldn’t I use mine to help others. Well, I am finally learning to listen to that still small voice. When it says be quiet, I hush.

It wasn’t until recently that I finally realized that people will actually use your weaknesses against you. I know I sound naive but I honestly did not believe this to be true. I thought because I would never use someone’s weaknesses against them, they wouldn’t use mine against me. Again, I am learning.

That’s all for today. So glad God stopped me before I shared my other blog. Again, it wasn’t anything deep but something that did not need to be shared. At least, not at this moment. Wishing you a wonderful, peaceful day.

Be Blessed!♥️

Shaun

Life

My Heart is Full

Shaun Bradford
Y’all, I am truly blessed.

Today has already been a pretty amazing day. My daughter decided to take this morning off and spend it with me. We talked and reminisced about how much our lives (mostly mine) have changed over the years. I cannot say it enough, God is so good.

By the way, my top two love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. Most of the time we associate love languages with romantic relationships. At least I always have. And I know I’m not the one! Well, today God showed me that what I have been longing for I already have. I have it in my two. He blessed me with two beautiful souls who provide me with both. Smiling. My heart is full.♥️

Sooo… Should I count this as another level of freedom? If not, it’s definitely another level of awareness. I’m really beginning to love Year50.

Shaun

Life

Keep God First

Shaun Bradford

Keep God first. Not second. Not third. Not as a last resort. First!

Keep Him first in both good and bad times. Most importantly, honor Him just as strongly when you get what you prayed for as you did while you were praying. First!♥️ ~ Shaun

Keep God first and everything else will fall into place.
Life

Make Every Moment Count

Shaun Bradford

How often have you taken moments for granted?

Seems like the older I become, and the more my loved ones die, the more I cherish people, time and experiences. I try not to take anything or anyone for granted. As the saying goes, “Here today, gone tomorrow.” We never know if one particular moment—encounter or experience—will be our last.

Don’t know about you, but I’m taking nothing for granted. Every moment and every experience is precious. Cherishing them all.

Before I end, thank you for reading my blogs. I truly appreciate you and your time. Love you!♥️

Shaun

Life

They Say Everything Happens for a Reason

Shaun Bradford

As I mentioned a few days ago, Zhané’s, “For A Reason,” used to be one of those songs I couldn’t shake for a while. Four years ago, it seemed like that particular song and the message, “Everything happens for a reason,” was showing up everywhere.

October 5th…

October 5, 2019 was my brother’s 46th and final birthday. They say time heals, but the pain of his death still stings. It doesn’t hurt as bad as it used to but it still hurts. A few days after his birthday my mom told me that my uncle, who is now running for a state office, had been rushed to the hospital. All I kept thinking was he couldn’t die. We were the same age and basically grew up like siblings. I said I couldn’t imagine life without him. Little did I know my brother was also sick and was about to pass away. Life…

Here’s a Facebook memory from October 5, 2019. Talk about eerie.

Second message this week about everything happens for a reason. So I must make it today’s social media find. Rest assured God’s got you. He already has everything worked out. Just trust Him. Believe me, I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s something we must learn to do. Y’all have a blessed day.🙏🏽♥️

Wow… No words. Didn’t even know what was coming. I did not smile through the tears. I screamed. I hurt. I felt like my life was falling apart. What a time…

Today would have been my brother’s 50th birthday. Life without him just isn’t the same. I miss him.

Life

Life and Relationships Are Priceless

Shaun Bradford

Just returned home from visiting my dad and bonus mom. My momma – which is what I have always called my bonus mom – is not doing well. She’s telling everyone that she is, but she’s not. I took her to her doctor’s appointment Monday and she was diagnosed with one thing. Then, after we left, she began telling me about another issue she was having, which she failed to mention to the doctor.

When we returned home, I listened as she told my dad what the doctor had said. It took her forever to explain her diagnosis so I went on and told him. However, before interjecting, I waited to see how they typically communicated these issues with each other. Wanted to know what happened when I wasn’t around. From previous events, I knew that neither went into exam rooms with the other so they only told each other what they wanted the other to know. This breaks my heart because I really do not know the extent of their illnesses. The only reason the doctor knew what to check for during this visit was because I provided information that my mom failed to provide. Knowing that I didn’t even have all of the information about her symptoms makes me sad.

I was suppose to come home Tuesday, but decided to stay an extra day to see if she felt any better. Then, when I got ready to leave yesterday, they both asked if I could stay one more day and I did. Today, I didn’t want to leave them. Instead of feeling like I was leaving my parents, I felt like I was leaving my kids. They looked so sad.

Y’all, life is so, so precious and so are relationships. Cherish both. When I first got there all I could think about were things I needed to do so I could get back home. Couldn’t fully focus on my parents because everything I was doing was task driven. Those extra two days put everything in perspective. The message – I was on God’s time. He allowed me that time to be with them and love on them. Over the last few years, God has made it possible for me to be available whenever any of them (including my late mom) needed me. Believe me, I know that I am blessed. I know there aren’t too many people who can just drop everything to take care of their parents and not have to worry about things at home. Y’all, when God promised to take care of me, He meant it. So, I must always remember that whenever I have to stop to take care of them, it’s because God has blessed me so that I can do so.

Y’all, love and relationships are priceless. Make sure you hold them very dear. Love you.♥️ ~Shaun

Outside the doctor’s office posing with a giant catfish. I always make time for a quick selfie. Lol😁