God will never leave you nor abandon you. You can trust Him and His word.♥️ ~Shaun
Believe God
Tag: grief
Remembering Alton Sutton, Jr.
Today, I’m remembering my brother, Alton Sutton, Jr. He passed away on this day five years ago (October 19, 2019). There’s so much I want to say, but at the moment, I’m finding it hard to articulate my thoughts. When I tell you his presence in our family is so missed.
My brother was our gentle giant—kind, caring, loving, and very mild mannered. Definitely had a heart of gold. He was my dad and stepmom’s only son.
We were on this earth together for 46 years. Born almost three months apart (I was the oldest). Practically, twins… Yes, I miss him.
May he continue to rest in power and peace.🙏🏽🕊️♥️
October 2019: What A Month!
Good Morning!☀️
This weekend was hard because it reminded me of my brother’s death in October 2019. However, now I’m remembering one of the happier moments of October 2019.
This morning I was bombarded with all kinds of wonderful memories of my fav being celebrated. Little did I know that two extremes could happen in the same month. To be on ten at one point—because I was celebrating and posting like I was there with Tyler Perry. I was so excited and happy for him! Only to hit zero—less than zero—two weeks later when my brother died. Y’all, I could scream now! Life is something else!
Anyhoo… I’m going to keep it on a happy note. No tears today.
Here’s what I shared five years ago after purchasing this magazine.
Now, here’s what I shared moments ago when I reshared it on Facebook.
Facebook Present😉: October 7, 2024
Great memory!! I believe this was one of Tyler Perry’s most memorable years of his success and brilliance being on display for the world to see. That summer he made one of his most famous speeches at the BET awards about the importance of ownership and not allowing anyone to stop us from fulfilling our dreams. It was also the same year, and around this time, that Tyler Perry Studios had its grand opening. Oh, and he also got his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. What a year that was!🌟
For me, it was the excitement of watching God fulfill a dream in real time. I had been following Tyler’s endeavors for a while, and it was great to see him celebrated. But, listen, Tyler’s dream isn’t the only one I’ve been following. No, I’ve been following YOURS, too! I see YOU, and I see what God is doing in your life. You may not always see it because you’re too close to it. However, God is working and doing some AMAZING things in your life. Whatever you dreamed WILL come to fruition. I see it!!
I look at Tyler’s story and his success as motivation to keep going. Yes, all of us will have setbacks, as Tyler did. However, we must not give up. Listen, cry when you need to cry. Take a break when needed. But whatever you do, NEVER give up on your dreams! Love you!♥️
**Just want to add, it’s so cool that he’s sharing the cover with baby Archie. I bet he never imagined in a million years he would become a godfather to an actual princess. How beautiful is that!💖
Again, great memory!
Y’all, as I mentioned, I’m following YOUR dreams, too. I see YOU. I see God working. I see who you’re becoming. Don’t give up!
Praying you have an amazing week!♥️
Love you,
Shaun
Hello Sunday
Good Morning!☀️
First, I want to thank everyone who said a prayer for me yesterday. It wasn’t easy for me to share how I was feeling. I had actually shared a more detailed post hours earlier, then unpublished it soon afterwards. As I said in my previous post, I hate feeling vulnerable, and openly sharing that much of my life made me feel so. So, thank you for allowing me a space to share because I really needed it. At the time that I posted it, I was on my way from the airport to the hotel and was trying not to start bawling during the ride. However, trying to hold it in was short lived. As soon as I got to the front desk to check in, the tears started pouring out, and I was boohooing all over the place. Y’all, I was so embarrassed, but couldn’t stop. Everyone was hugging me. I mean everyone. Even people waiting in the lobby. I was a mess…
After I got to my room, I FaceTimed my daughter and the first words out of her mouth were, “You look terrible!” And I did! That was my first time seeing myself. Y’all, I had been crying the whole trip—on my to the airport, on the plane, during my layover. The tears just kept coming. The other part of her response was laughter (we tend to do this at the weirdest times). Baby she laughed! And I couldn’t help but laugh too because I looked horrible! She kept apologizing, but said she’d never seen me look so bad in my life. Like I was in some movie or something. Then we laughed even more. I had planned on going to the opening ceremony last night, but was advised by my daughter to sit it out. She was like you already look bad, the last thing you want to do is be crying all over the place. So, I took her advice—even though I really wanted to hear our opening speaker. Then, I went and got something to eat, took a shower, and got in bed.
Y’all, I love my hearts. My son said to let him know if I needed anything. As if he could do much from hundreds of miles away. But his heart was in the right place. When I tell you I am truly blessed.
I don’t know how today will go. I feel much better, now. However, the grief that I experienced yesterday was so unexpected. So, I can only pray that today will be a more pleasant day. Something did come to mind—which could’ve been a trigger—I was attending a conference when my brother died. I was at a state conference in the same city as his hospital. Had seen him the night before. He just kept saying he was tired. So tired. He had been in ICU over a week and they’d tried everything. By the way, he had MRSA, one of the worst staph infections you can get, and it had spread to his heart. We never figured out how he got it. The doctors wanted to try one more surgery to see if it would help or prolong his life. I remember calling my stepmom to tell her I was about to leave the conference to head back to the hospital and she told me not to rush because he was gone. That they were waiting on everyone to make it to the hospital to say our final goodbyes. So maybe I was subconsciously triggered by the conference and it being his birthday. When I tell you life be lifeing for real!
Well, I’m going to end here. Going to turn over and get a few more hours of sleep before I start my day. Can’t wait to mingle, network and enjoy the free food samples. Outside of the National Restaurant Association Show (it’s huge!), our conference has some of the best food vendors. Met one yesterday while waiting for my food. Can’t wait to stop by their booth.☺️
As always, thank you so much for reading. Hopefully what I’ve written makes sense, if not it’s okay. I just needed to write. Now, I need to go back to sleep. However, before I do, I’ll end with this Facebook memory, which is very timely. Can’t make this stuff up!
Facebook Memory: October 6, 2023
You better live! Life isn’t slowing down or waiting for you to catch up. Stop putting everyone else first like they’re more important than you. Listen… and hear me good… No one is more important or more valuable than you are. No one! You’re not being selfish, self-centered or inconsiderate. Nah… You’re just recognizing your worth. Now it’s time you start living in it. Love you!♥️
Have a blessed Sunday!♥️
Love you,
Shaun
It’s Been One Year
Today is the first anniversary of my mom’s passing. I still remember her screaming “Hallelujah” over and over again before she had her last seizure—which was the day before she officially passed. I honestly believe she left us at that moment. However, we waited for her to recover as she had done before, but she never did. She was in a coma.
I mean, we knew she was passing. We weren’t naive. For months her appetite had been slowly decreasing. Her blood levels were steadily declining. Almost every other week she was getting a transfusion. Her stage 4 wound wasn’t healing and she had become septic…again…as she had become every couple of weeks. Yes, we knew she was dying but we just wanted her to look at us one more time. We kept trying to wake her up by singing her favorite songs, talking to her about her favorite shows and meals, washing her face, everything. But nothing worked. No eye movement. No sign of irritation whenever they came in to change the dressing on her wound. Nothing. The only signs of life were the numbers on the monitor that were gradually dropping.
On the morning of her passing, the doctor told us it was time for us to make the final decision. The oxygen and blood pressure medicine were the only things keeping her alive for us. Basically, she was already gone. They had tried taking her off several times before and her oxygen and blood pressure levels plummeted. Because she was a DNR, they wanted to make sure we were ready for what was to come before disconnecting everything.
After they removed the oxygen and IVs, we waited for something dramatic to happen. Thought she would immediately go into cardiac arrest. According to several nurses, the end wasn’t always pleasant. But nothing happened. The nurses asked if we wanted them to give her some pain medicine and we declined. She had been in severe pain for years and that was the first time we had seen her at complete peace. They told us to let them know if she became uncomfortable or began to moan and they would give her something. Again, nothing happened. She just appeared to be asleep. Which is how she said she wanted to die. She told us she had prayed and asked God to let her die in her sleep. And she did.
From around 2 PM until a little after 9 PM, we sat with her as her numbers slowly decreased. We took turns holding her hands and rubbing her forehead until they became cold and grayish. We didn’t immediately call the nurse in after we knew she was gone. We just sat there in silence.
Our momma…
Dorothy Ree, we miss you!
We have all been dreading this day. Been grieving for a whole year. Some days have been better than others. For me, last night was really rough. The tears just kept flowing, as they are now. I’m not bawling but the tears just seem to be flowing from nowhere.
Think I will end here. I may or may not share a second post today, or I might share several. I’m just going to go with the flow.
Thanks for allowing me to share.♥️
Love you,
Shaun
Grief
Grief is a tricky thing. It seems to pop up out of nowhere and when you least expect it. My mom’s birthday is tomorrow. She would’ve been 66 years old. Seems like the closer it’s gotten to her day, the busier I have tried to become. Been trying to surround myself with positive and uplifting energy. However, when things become quiet, as they are now, it hits me. So what do I do? I go searching for another uplifting fix.
Well, I thought I had found another one. Decided to watch a video by Pastor Touré Roberts thinking it was about entrepreneurship. Little did I know it was about dealing with grief. Not just grief due to death, but unresolved grief from other situations and circumstances—his was from childhood.
I’m sharing his video with you because maybe it holds the answer you have been searching for on how to handle grief. Like Pastor Touré, I don’t like feeling vulnerable or sad. Besides when my brother died, I had always been able to somewhat control grief. I knew how to block it. It’s what got me through some difficult situations. I didn’t have time to grieve or feel sorry for myself. Didn’t want to. However, after watching Pastor Touré’s video, I probably should have grieved a few things. Probably should have gone through the process instead of blocking the pain. Today and tomorrow, I am going to feel what I need to feel. I miss my mom.
Anyhoo… Wishing Pastor Touré well on his journey of processing his grief. Here’s his video:
“Called To Wholeness”
It’s Shaun’s World 
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