Tag: death

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Today would have been my brother’s 49th birthday. Y’all, I just knew we would grow old together. Happy heavenly birthday, Rell.♥️ October 5, 1973 – October 19, 2019

Here’s what I shared on that day three years ago (October 5, 2019) –

Facebook Memory: October 5, 2019

Second message this week about everything happens for a reason. So I must make it today’s social media find. Rest assured God’s got you. He already has everything worked out. Just trust Him. Believe me, I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s something we must learn to do. Y’all have a blessed day.🙏🏽♥️

This was in response to a post made by TV ONE – “Laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself everything happens for a reason.”

That week, my emotions were all over the place. My anxiety level was like a ten. You know how you can feel something about to happen but can’t pinpoint what? I remember being so anxious that entire day, and the days that followed, were even worse. Didn’t know I would actually laugh at the confusion. Not really. Smile through the tear. Boy did I do a lot of crying, but of course I kept smiling. One thing that I couldn’t seem to do was focus on the “everything happens for a reason” part. HA! One thing I forgot to do was take my own advice and trust that God knew what He was doing. Honestly, I’m still confused about that part. Only God knows the lessons and reasons behind everything that happened.

Yeah.. October 2019 was a month I truly wanted to forget. Hands down, it was one of the worst months of my life. Y’all, I honestly didn’t think I could see another October and not feel some kind of way. I’m so thankful time takes away the sting. That God loves us enough to make sure we heal from pain.

October 5, 2019

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

UPDATE #2: My mom is AWAKE and talking!!! God is soooo good!!! Thank y’all so much for the prayers.♥️

UPDATE: I spoke with my Mom’s ICU nurse a little while ago. She said that my mom actually responded to a few commands this morning. She also held her eyes open for a while. This is all great news!🙏🏽

The past several days have been overwhelming. However, the good news is, my mom is still with us.

As for me, I can’t even begin to describe where I’m at emotionally. Sometimes it feels as if I’m experiencing multiple emotions all at once– frustration, sadness, confusion, and loneliness, then throw in a bit of optimism. Ugh!

Y’all, I’m exhausted but can’t seem to rest. Haven’t had much of an appetite; however, I’m eating because I know I’m supposed to. Basically, I have been forcing myself to eat, drink and sleep. Every time I feel like I have a handle on things, something else pops up.

Yesterday Momma opened her eyes for a brief moment while my sister and I were in the room. Y’all, it felt like a miracle had happened. We were so happy. That was during the first ICU visitation. During each visitation that followed, we expected her to do the same or more but nothing happened. She barely even moved. One of my sisters said we should only speak positively. That negative conversations will only make things worse. She doesn’t want to hear anything other than Momma is going to pull through. Guess what?! This is really difficult to do when you’re the person who has to make the final decisions in case she doesn’t pull through. And that person is me.

Yes, it hurts. It’s painful. It makes me want to scream. But I’m here. I’m making it. I’m going with the flow. God’s got me. Life…

I love you, Momma.♥️

Shaun

Life

Moment of Silence

Shaun Bradford

Today I would like to ask you to take a moment of silence to remember those who have recently lost their lives to mass shootings in the United States (May 14 – 24, 2022):

Buffalo, New York (Supermarket)
May 14, 2022
10 lives taken

Laguna Woods, California (Church)
May 15, 2022
1 life taken

Uvalde, Texas (Elementary School)
May 24, 2022
21 lives taken

Prayers for their loved ones who are heartbroken and confused. Prayers for those who are saddened, hurt and angered by those who fail to recognize and address the racial and ethnical issues we have in the U.S.; as well as the gun violence that continues to plague the United States. As much as I desire to see the good in everyone, I’m actually beginning to believe that some people are incapable of love, empathy and compassion. Because if they were, they would care more about lives than their agendas.

I have to remain hopeful or I will become like them.

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

Today, I am sending prayers, love, light and positive vibes to all who are experiencing sadness, depression, heartache, pain and grief. Today, my heart aches with you. Please know that you’re not alone. You are loved and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Love Always,

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

I’m awake. Can’t sleep. What do you do when you have absolutely no idea of what to do when your heart hurts? I know I have to push through. I know that in a few days I will not feel like this. I know that eventually the pain will fade. However, at this moment, I’m hurting.

I really hate writing sad, depressing blogs. I don’t feel like journaling. I don’t feel like talking. I don’t feel like making a social media post. I chose to blog because somehow I actually feel like the universe hears me this way. Maybe… just maybe, by writing it here the universe will hear my pain and make everything okay.

I know this is just a moment I’m going through. I know it will pass. I know God’s got me. However, right now, I’m sad and my heart hurts.

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Shaun Bradford

Facebook memory: September 8, 2018 – Caption and picture.

How many of you have tried to rush things and God said, “Be still” or “Be patient”?

Be Still
Be Patient
God’s Working

I’m not going to lie, I have been feeling pretty low for a few days now. Can’t seem to stop crying. I keep asking myself where is my life headed. Honestly, it seems like my ambitions and dreams have shriveled up. All I’m left with is nothingness. Like, I feel nothing. I want nothing. I’m just here.

Yesterday, my son said I needed to get out the house and go somewhere, anywhere. I was like, all I’ve been doing is going. He said I needed to go somewhere for myself, not to take care of things for someone else. So, we drove down to the coast for lunch. He was right, I needed to do something for me. Now, here I am laying here with my thoughts. I just can’t seem to stop crying. I’ve been patient with myself for years, so why am I not further along? I don’t want to die without achieving my dreams; however, right now, I don’t have any drive to move forward. None. I just want to be.

I know this moment will pass. It always does. But it’s becoming harder and harder to bounce back. This is hard to admit but I’m beginning to feel hopeless. Just being transparent.

Shaun