Happy Sunday! Today’s blog is based on a Facebook memory, a post that I shared a year ago–
What do you want? Simple question, yet not always easy to answer. Most of the time when we’re asked this question we respond based on our desires at that particular moment or where we are in life. Quick and easy answers will suffice in the moment; however, deep down we know there’s so much more. When was the last time you asked yourself what it is that I truly want out of life?Shaun Bradford, Facebook Post, June 12, 2022
As many of you know, my son graduated from high school last month. Although I thought I would be a total mess, I was actually fine. More than fine! Instead of being sad about my stint as “Mom the Caregiver” ending, I immediately began celebrating my new role, “Mom the Advisor.” Yes, I’m an advisor now and loving it!
Even though the tears never came, the thought of “What am I to do, now?” did. For over 27 years, I have made decisions based on someone else’s livelihood. Now, it’s all about me; which, to be honest, feels weird. Y’all, I’m actually at a stage in my life where I can focus on myself and I feel completely lost. I’m no longer that 18 year old joining the Air Force. I am a 48 year old who has already “done it all,” trying to figure out what’s left to do. Lately I’ve been asking myself, what do I still want out of life?
Fortunately, God has given me time alone to ponder my next chapter of life. You see, a little over a week before my son’s graduation, one of my sisters got the opportunity to spend her summer in California and asked if I would doggie/house sit while she was gone. I said yes, but then started having doubts. Mostly because I was worried about my son’s wellbeing. Then, he and my daughter assured me that he would be fine and encouraged me to live! They told me this was my time to do whatever I wanted. They’re so funny. I believe they’ve been trying to get me out the nest for the longest. (Shaking my head)
So, I’m in Alabama. Been here almost a week. It took me a few days to adjust to having a dog around because I am not an animal person. Especially animals that need constant attention. I’m more of a fish– just one– kind of person. Well, it didn’t take long for the doggie, Pepé, to train me. I think I like her.
The other thing I’m trying to get used to is cooking for one instead of going out to eat. I used to eat out a lot when my son would visit family for the summer. It was just more convenient, plus it made me feel like a teenager splurging on treats. Yeah.. I used to live it up! So, now that this is going to be my new lifestyle, I have to learn how to prepare meals for one and resist the urge to eat out.
I also found a temporary space for my office. Still haven’t gotten used to the perks of remote work. For some reason I feel like I need a designated workspace. Yeah.. I’m working on changing this perception.
As you can see, life is changing. I have absolutely no idea of what’s to come. However, what I do know is I have a little time to decide on my next move. As for the question– “What do I want?” Honestly, I believe I’m already living in it. I’m living in the freedom of peace, love and choice. But of course there are other things I desire– to fall in love with someone who loves me just as much as I love them, to grow old gracefully, to be that princess/queen I’ve always dreamt of, to celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary, to travel, to eat, to spread love and hope to every part of the world, to continue being the best mom, sister, daughter and friend I strive to be, and most importantly to honor God with all that I have and am. Yes.. this is what I want.
As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read my random ramblings. I really do appreciate you. Enjoy your week!