It’s almost 4:00 AM and my mom is finally aware of the date and time (still kind of off about the time of day even though it’s dark outside). She knows that certain bills have to be paid by a certain date. I told her we would worry about those things on Monday. That I would handle it all.
Yeah.. it’s almost 4:00 AM and now I’m trying not to worry about everything I have to do on Monday, or tomorrow. Shoot.. I barely remembered to pay my own bills that weren’t automatically drafted. Life. Gotta love it.
Right now, she’s falling back to sleep. I believe I’ll do the same. Tomorrow, I’ll handle whatever needs to be done then. However, today.. right now.. I’m going to stay present, get some sleep and deal with whatever Sunday brings.
Today’s a brand new day. So grateful for life. So blessed that Momma is still with us. Although the progression process has been very slow, she’s still progressing. Taking things one day at a time. Prayers for continued peace, patience and guidance. Amen
This morning, I can say that I’m feeling much better physically than I was yesterday. However, mentally and emotionally, I’m about the same. So, here’s some of what’s going on.
Early yesterday morning, my mom was taken to the ER for being unresponsive. My brother, who lives with her, couldn’t wake her up or feel a pulse. Long story short- She’s now in ICU.
She’s still with us but remains unresponsive. She’s also on a ventilator and sedated. Everyone on her medical team keeps stressing that she’s, “very, very sick.” “Your mother is very, very sick.” Of course they told us what was wrong; however, it’s the way they’re all stressing the severity of what’s happening is what has made this ER visit and ICU stay different from the others.
For those who don’t know, my mom has paraplegia. She hasn’t been able to feel anything from her waist down since 1998. Well, over the years, she’s developed many more complications, and these last four years (2018 – now) have been the worse. She has had so many ER visits and hospital stays since then. Fortunately, things calmed down a bit during the height of the COVID pandemic. She did become very ill a few times but the doctors treated her at home.
Now, here we are. Unlike times before when I only contacted immediate family, or a few of her siblings, this time I have contacted her friends and extended family. As I said before, this time feels different.
My prayers have been whatever’s in God’s will, let it be; and let us, her children, be prepared to handle whatever comes – good or bad. Even though my mom is paralyzed, she’s always been independent and strong willed. So some of the decisions we may have to make are going to be very difficult.
At this moment I’m just praying she’s at peace and not in any pain. One of her biggest fears is being in a predicament like this and not being able to tell anyone she’s in pain or uncomfortable. So I’m praying that she’s completely comfortable. Also, praying that we get to see her smile and hear her laugh again, soon.
We love you, Momma.🙏🏽♥️
Please keep our mom and family in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you.
It’s 3:00 AM and I haven’t been to sleep yet. Ugh!! One day I’ll follow my sleep schedule.
Anyway.. I just read my journal entry from this date a year ago, August 21, 2021. I’m smiling because my life actually follows a certain pattern. Y’all, I never realized this until a few days ago after reading several entries from the same date but different years. When I say I’m amazed! And quite amused too. Laughing. Y’all, my life is so interesting. It’s definitely Oscar worthy. My daughter says it’s my Cancer energy. That my life and behaviors are true to my sign. Whatever…
Honestly, I believe it’s God’s way of keeping me entertained and grounded while helping me become the woman I’m meant to be. It’s taken years, but I can finally see and feel God working. And it’s such a wonderful feeling.
Okay.. I need to go to sleep. Have to be up in a few hours to attend a conference. Yesterday’s sessions were pretty good! So good that I created a YouTube channel. More info to come!
Well, good night/morning. Wishing you an awesome day.
Y’all, I have been so busy since I made it home from house sitting. Seems like I haven’t had a chance to catch my breath. I would provide details but at the moment, I’m a little too tired. However, I will tell you this.
My son is officially a freshman in college!
Which means he’s already testing his independence and boundaries. Friday, I moved him into the dorms. Yesterday, he was already exploring the campus. Yesterday around noon, I received a text from him informing me that he was going out to eat with friends. Umm.. What friends? I didn’t ask. Just texted back “Okay” and “Separate checks.” He said that was the plan. Well, that was around lunchtime. Tried calling him several hours later and got the “The person you’re trying to reach is not available at this time” message. I already knew his phone was dead. I didn’t panic. Told myself he would reach out soon, and he did. Well, that was around 6 PM.
Around 10:30 PM, I receive a text from my daughter asking if I thought my son accidentally blocked her because all of her iMessages were turning green. Of course I didn’t think that he had so I did something I guess she hadn’t tried, I called him. Well… I got the same lovely message again. This time I was a bit concerned. Not because I believed something was wrong but because he was being irresponsible. Around midnight I get a call from him apologizing saying he didn’t know his phone had died. I assured him that it was okay, but definitely not okay. I also told him that his sister was worried so he called her.
Before I went to bed, I texted him to see if he was okay and told him that I was happy he was having fun. Y’all, this is someone who’s on his phone almost every waking hour of the day and he had no idea his phone was dead. So he was really enjoying himself, which made me smile.
I believe he’s learned his lesson. Well, at least I hope he has. I am so looking forward to guiding him through this next phase of life. I know it may be challenging at times; however, I’m confident that God will give me the patience, wisdom and tools needed to make it to the next phase.
Thanks for reading! Wishing you a wonderful, relaxing week.
I have been back home almost a week, now. Got back last Monday. Umm.. I’m not really sure what I will write about today. So much happened last week that I truly don’t know where to begin. I guess it could be the side effects of this sinus/allergy medicine that’s causing the brain fog. Y’all, it basically knocks me out for two days (and it’s only Claritin). I was completely fine the two months I was gone. Then, the day I made it home I began to feel the sinus pressure. Yesterday I just had to take something. The Claritin will have me loopy for a while but once I get through this, I’ll be good to go!
Anyhoo.. I planned on writing more but I guess I’ll stop here because ain’t no telling what I’ll start writing about. However, before I end, I wanted to add that my son moves into the dorm next week! Y’all, I’m soooo excited for him. This is the beginning of his young adulthood and independence. I’m so proud of him.
Well, take care! Will write more on Wednesday. Enjoy your week.
It’s Shaun’s World 
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