Tag: rest

Life

It’s Shaun’s World

Shaun Bradford

The other day while I was doing a little soul searching, I had one of my aha moments. My journey, my world, is an experience that is meant to be shared in real time. As I have said many times before, if I wanted transparency from others, I needed to be transparent myself. My tests and testimonies are meant to be shared now, daily; not in a book later.

Y’all, my life is not perfect. You’re surprised, right?! Laughing. Nope, it’s far from perfect. Here I am, 50 years old, and still do not have life figured out. Sometimes I feel like a twenty year old who believes they still have time to make mistakes until they figure out what works for them. Then there are other times when I feel like I need to buckle down and be serious about life. The latter usually happens after I see people with their stuff together.

Honestly… and I am being so transparent and serious right now… I cannot pinpoint exactly when my life changed. Most of my life I was so serious about what I wanted out of life and was adamant about getting it. Yes, there were setbacks, but I always bounced back with a force to be and do better. I had dreams and goals. Now it’s like my drive is gone. Seems like I spend most of my time chasing the drive rather than the dream. My momentum seems to come in spurts. Basically, I’m tired. That’s it! I’m tired. I’m tired of being in charge. I’m tired of making decisions. I’m tired of taking care of everybody and everything. I’m tired of chasing a forever moving target. I have been in charge of, taking care of, and making decisions for other people since I was around five years old (that’s as far back as I can remember having to do so) and I am straight tied (not tired).

One of my life long goals was to retire before age 50 and live out the rest of my life doing whatever I pleased. Well, I actually retired twelve years ago. While I was manifesting my retirement I should have been manifesting some good money to go along with the retirement. Just saying. Laughing.

I can’t lie, I am actually living in what I wanted, what I manifested (I’m telling you it’s real). So why am I 1) still trying to do things I really do not want to do and 2) not fully enjoying this time I have been blessed to have? Again, it’s like I am chasing a drive that’s no longer here instead of resting in God’s goodness as I should be.

I’ll figure things out sooner or later. I guess this is what Year50 is all about–figuring out how I truly want to live out the rest of my life. Will I continue trying to do things I have no desire to do (because it’s surely not working) or do what I really want to do?

Anyhoo… only time will tell. I pray y’all have a wonderful weekend. Love you!♥️

Shaun

Life

Live Purposefully

Shaun Bradford

Live purposefully.🙏🏽♥️

Today, I’m not feeling so well. Wanted to add more to the caption before I shared it on social media but that’s all I could muster. Thank God for journal entries. That was the last line of last year’s entry.

Y’all, for some crazy reason I thought colds only lasted 3-4 days. HA! Try 7-10. I’m praying I’ll feel better soon. Didn’t start coughing until yesterday. Now my throat is sore. I know I’m at fault. Been doing way too much. Today, I intend to purposely rest. It’s funny how we dish out advice but don’t take it ourselves.😉

Resting. ~ Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

When I woke up this morning, the first thing I said was today would be my day of rest. Then my brain started working overtime. All kinds of ideas started popping up about the things I could be doing while relaxing – not resting. Well, rest is what I said and rest is what I meant. My body and mind both need rest and I plan to oblige. Shutting down until tomorrow. Wow! I’m already breathing differently.

Praying you have a restful Sunday as well.

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shaun Bradford

I know it’s late. Just dropping in to say “Hello!” It has been a very busy weekend. In addition to being busy, I took some allergy medicine this morning and I am so out of it. I can barely keep my eyes open. Debating whether to take a nap or just go to bed. I believe I’ll choose the second option and go to bed. I will talk to y’all later. Have a wonderful week!

Good Night

Shaun

Life

Beaulah

Shaun Bradford

Today has been a very weird day. I guess you can say it began yesterday. I could feel something was off. I was anxious. Things were too quiet. I texted my dad but he never responded. Instead of calling him, I said I would wait until this morning to call. Well, before I could call him, he called me. My aunt – his only living sister, his baby sister – had just passed. She would have been 65 in two weeks. Last year, in the midst of the pandemic, my stepmom decided to throw her a small, surprise birthday party. She said she just felt like celebrating Aunt Beaulah. Little did we know, that would be her last.

As my dad always says when someone passes, “It’s just one of those things.” I guess he’s right. No one is beyond death. We all have to die someday. I’m sad. Been in somewhat of a daze most of the day. I have been functioning as usual, but I’m not truly here. I logged off social media almost two weeks ago because I was tired of seeing sad stories and reading obituaries. Ha! The jokes on me. Whether I’m plugged in or not, sadness and death still exists. And, life goes on.

Rest easy, Aunt Beaulah. You will definitely be missed.

Life

One Bad Habit

Shaun Bradford

I really wish I were asleep, but as you can see, I’m not. Y’all, I have one bad habit… and no, it is not a man!

HA!! For a moment I heard Angie Stone singing “2 Bad Habits” when I mentioned “one bad habit.” Lol. My life.

Anyway… my bad habit is falling asleep on the sofa. I know it sounds trivial, but it is affecting my quality of life. On average, I probably spend half of my nights on the sofa 3-5 days a week. I usually wake up somewhere between midnight and 2:00 a.m. (this morning it was 4:00 a.m.) and then go to bed. However, once in bed, I never go back to sleep. I lay awake thinking or writing. Y’all, it is so frustrating. It throws my entire day off. Falling asleep on the sofa is okay on the weekends, but definitely not, on weekdays. You see, on weekends, I can always take a nap. However, on weekdays, I have to be awake and alert for work.

I know this blog seems random.. because the majority of them are. Lol. Just wanted to share my “Aha” moment with you. I never considered this to be a habit. Honestly, I always assumed I suffered from insomnia; and whenever I felt sluggish, I thought it was some kind of vitamin or mineral deficiency. Never connected any of this with the quality/lack of sleep or rest.

Anyway, I need to break this habit. From this day forward, I am going to make a conscious effort to fall asleep in bed. Thinking I may need to set a bedtime. Hmm…

Shaun