I’m really trying to create healthier habits by sticking to my scheduled times. I’ve allotted 1.5 hours to tweet during and after my shows. Tonight I did well. My show ended almost 30 minutes ago and I decided not to use the full 30 minutes to tweet afterwards. I also logged off Facebook. I have to stick with my set schedule because I really hate how attached I’ve become to social media. The only way things will change is for me to be intentional about changing them.
Last night I watched the movie, “Malcom and Marie,” which was a 2-hour dialogue between a couple who had just come home from an awards ceremony. Malcom had won an award for a movie he produced about a 20 year old model/aspiring actress who had overdosed on drugs. Marie.. well.. I don’t care how many ways Malcom tried to spin the story.. Marie was his inspiration behind the movie. I’m not going to give away too much of the movie. I want to give you a chance to watch it because, I don’t know about you, I hate spoilers. So, I’ll just leave you with this:
Most women are nurturers. When we love someone, we tend to put their needs and feelings before our own. From the macaroni scene, to stifling her feelings, until the end, Marie was that woman. But did Malcom notice? Do men notice? Like Marie, most of us suppress our feelings, smile and keep going like we’ve never been hurt or bothered. Is it right? Heck, no! But it’s what we do. It’s who we are. Like most women, Marie didn’t want to steal Malcom’s shine. She just wanted to feel appreciated.
Hmm… Wonder what would happen if we started putting ourselves first?
Women, nurturers, Queens, thank you for your selfless acts of love. For acts that go unnoticed. For the things you do that are second nature. Thank you for holding households together while trying to maintain your own sanity. Thank you for your unconditional love. Thank you for loving hard even when it’s hard to love. Thank you for pressing forward through your tears. Thank you for being that rock. Thank you for the sacrifices you make so that others can excel. Thank you for being you. In my Tupac voice, “You are appreciated!”
I really should be asleep, but since I’m awake I’ll write. Was having a crazy dream about the rock band KISS, rappers Kid n Play, and eating dry cornbread in some fancy hotel room. Woke up coughing and reaching for water. I bet I can’t find KISS, Kid n Play, or dry cornbread in one of those dream book. Y’all, even while asleep, I’m being entertained. Gotta love life!
Anyhoo.. Yesterday I came across a photo I had taken at a conference. It was a picture of one of the speakers’ slides which read, “Preparation. Protection. Promotion.” I remember the speaker saying these are the steps God takes us through each time we embark on something new. First, we’re prepped for it. Meaning, we go through all kinds of tests and trials until God believes we’re ready to move to the next phase- Protection.
God’s protection zone is usually uncomfortable because it’s where nothing appears to be happening. You’re still in the preparation phase but you think you’re ready to shine. You know, it’s where you keep saying, “God, I’m ready!” and He responds with, “Not yet.” I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve gone through years of saying “I’m ready, Lord.” Only to hear Him say, “Be still. Not yet.” I’ve learned from experience that when He says to be still, I need to be still. It means I’m being protected. His method of protection reminds me of a parent protecting a child from touching something hot. The parent constantly tells the child not to touch the object because they’ll get burned. But once the parent turns their back, the child touches it. Lol. As I said, I’ve learned from experience to listen.
The protection phase isn’t as bad as it sounds. It’s where you get to make mistakes and no one seems to notice. You get to try what works and what doesn’t work. I guess you can say it’s the “trial and error” phase of the journey. The only problem I’ve had with this phase is that, it some situations, it can become too comfortable. Sometimes it becomes so comfortable that when God says it’s go time, you refuse to move. You make excuses for not moving forward. As usual, I’m not just writing this for you; as I write, God is speaking to me, too.
So, once God says you’re ready– which, from my experience, is when you feel the least prepared– comes the promotion. Promotion is scary, yet exhilarating; especially if you like adventures! However, promotion comes with a cost. Promotion comes with more exposure. More vulnerability. More responsibilities. As Biggie said, “Mo money, mo problems.” However, as Fred Hammond said, “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.” Y’all, I’m so grateful I have God in my corner. When the problems come, or I encounter situations that seem unbearable, He reminds me that I can handle anything that’s thrown my way because I’m His child. I’m royalty!
This year I’m walking into new adventures standing tall knowing that God’s with me every step of the way. Ready or not Shaun, it’s game time!
As always, thanks for reading my early morning ramblings. Now it’s time to go back to sleep.
Found this quote in today’s Facebook memories from 2019. In the memory, I had written a long caption about how I had been reading journal entries from the 90s and discovered I hadn’t changed much. I noted that I had grown spiritually and professionally, and was also making better decisions. However, my personality, heart, and spirit hadn’t really changed. I questioned why I had not grown stronger in those areas, meaning, why hadn’t I changed? You see, those were the areas that made me feel inadequate around others. That made me feel vulnerable in certain situations. That made me love harder than I should have. You would think 30 years would’ve made a difference, but it hadn’t.
That was two years ago. Here I am today, same personality, heart, and spirit. At first I asked myself why these characteristics hadn’t changed. You see, over the years I have tried to change them. Tried not to be so sentimental or emotional. Tried not to wear my heart on my sleeve. Tried to fit in by being less silly and more poised. Yeah.. I tried to be everything I wasn’t, everything I’m not. Then it hit me, those aren’t weaknesses. Those are my strengths. They don’t need to be changed. They need to be embraced. The only reason I continue to feel vulnerable while embracing them is because I’m trying to get others to embrace them as well. I guess you can say I’m having an “AHA” moment. Maybe that’s the lesson Tony Gaskins was referring to. I will never be able to move to the next level as long as continue to remain in the presence of those who do not fully accept Shaun. Umm… I believe it’s time to re-evaluate my circle. What’s that old saying– “If it don’t fit, don’t force it.” I will no longer try to force myself to fit where I’m not embraced. Period!
I love how I set out to write one thing and moments into writing I decide to change directions. Whatever I was going to write can be written another time. It’s not like it was something spectacular. Lol!
Yesterday I reposted a Facebook memory from 2018. It read-
Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the same exact place next year as you are today.
Yeah, failure isn’t that scary. Failure means at least I tried. However, being stagnant.. not moving forward.. not taking chances.. means waking up 20 years from now realizing I allowed opportunities to pass by because I was too afraid to try. Now that’s scary!
Just know, this time next year I will not be in this same exact place. I will be somewhere different. Not sure where– not even concerned about where– but I know it won’t be here. I have work to do. Goals to achieve. Moving forward is not an option, it’s necessary.
Last week I wrote a blog for my other site, A Research Diva’s Journey (see blog below). Y’all, my heart was so full. Tearing up just thinking about what transpired. I say this all of the time, and I truly mean it, money and things don’t bring me joy, experiences and seeing others excel does it for me. Those are the things that make my heart smile and show me that any– and everything is possible!
This particular blog is about President-Elect Joe Biden’s nominee for U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, Linda Thomas-Greenfield. No, she’s not the first African American who’s held this position, nor is she the first African American female. However, she is the first to make me feel like my journey to the United Nations is actually tangible. She’s a southern girl (woman) born right next door in Louisiana. In her TEDx she mentioned her parents. They reminded me of my great-great grands who encouraged us to get a good education because it was an opportunity they were not afforded. As a teenager I wanted to join the Peace Corp. Guess what?! She joined the Foreign Services. Y’all, what really resonated with my soul was her motto to always lead with kindness and compassion. Yes… I’m crying. She is ME!
Below is the beginning of my blog, Limitless Possibilities. If you have time, please read it. Y’all, God is working! Shaun
Yes, I’m still here! Smile. Life is definitely a journey and I am on one. Have you ever wondered why God reveals things in stages? Or why He shows …