When you wake up to a text from your daughter saying, “BTW, I meant to tell you I’m going [out of the country] today. Headed to the airport now. Here’s my flight information. I’ll be gone for a few days.”
What do you do?
I mean what else can you do but say, “Safe travels”, “Have fun!”, and “I love you!”
She is almost 30.
Of course, my mind went into military mode, and I sent her the government’s travel info about the country she’s traveling to and the Embassy’s information.
Then, I said a prayer to cover her.🙏🏽
She is grown and free to explore. I just wish she would’ve chosen somewhere I was somewhat familiar with. She dances to the beat of her own drums, and I love that about her. Also, she gets it honestly, so I can’t be mad at her. It’s not like I told my mom everything beforehand. However, unlike her, the military made me a little more wiser and a bit more cautious.
As I alluded to in my earlier post, I’m letting go of things I cannot control. She’s God’s child. He’s got her.
But y’all, I wasn’t ready for that. I wasn’t going to talk her out of going, but I would’ve asked a lot of questions.🤷🏽♀️
I can see my life as a mom with adult children is about to take me to a whole new level of motherhood. I can already see my son is ready to test being 21. He hasn’t done anything but I can feel it. This is definitely going to be interesting!
Now, I’m smiling because we’re all grown!! Wow!! I know I started off sounding a bit weary. However, the more I write the more I feel another level of freedom coming on. Again, we’re all grown!
Okay… I’m going to end here.
I guess you can say this is my first “random rambling” on this side of 50!
Decided to go back and start numbering my “Good Night” posts. Guess I should do the same with my “Hello Sundays.” We shall see.
Just wanted to drop in and say good night. This weekend I finally got to visit my baby girl and love on her a little and vice versa. I am so proud of the woman she’s become and is becoming. Y’all, I just love listening to her (even when we disagree) and watching her. I love her smile. I love her laugh. I love her passion. She will always be my baby girl. I know I say this a lot, but I still cannot believe I am a mother. It just blows my mind that I have mini-mes. This is what I mean when I say I am truly blessed. I also met up with my oldest nephew and his wife. Same feelings with him. He’s so grown now.
Anyhoo… I pray you had a lovely weekend as well. Remember to love and cherish your loved ones. Love on them and allow them to love on you. Yes, allow yourself to receive the love that you give. Believe me, it makes wonderful experiences even more special.
Wishing you a restful night and peaceful week. Love you!♥️
I am so emotional right now. Crying so many happy tears.
Y’all, when I became a mom at 21, I had no idea what life would look like almost 30 years later. I had no idea what kind of mom I would be. I had no idea what kind of child I would raise. All I knew was the kind of mother I aspired to be; however, I didn’t know if I could live up to it.
I was a single mom working mostly 12 hour shifts alternating days and nights, rarely had weekends off and holidays were just another day. I was living in a 700 square foot mobile home and barely making ends meet. At the time, I was living in Florida and my closest family was over 600 miles away. Fortunately, I had my coworkers and a couple of friends I met along the way who I could trust enough to babysit for me. Yeah, that was a big thing for me. I didn’t trust everyone with my baby.
I was this single mom who never missed a day of work, even when my baby was sick. Didn’t want to be viewed as the stereotypical single mother. I had already been called a statistic by one of my superiors. So I tried to be a perfect airman while attempting to be a perfect mom. I had no idea what I was doing. I was just trying to make it.
Now, here we are almost 29 years later and she’s doing the same for me. She’s my biggest supporter. My biggest fan. She’s witnessed all of the good times and all of the bad. Along the way I didn’t know if she would resent me because she didn’t have some of the same opportunities as some of her peers. I just didn’t know.
All I ever wanted was for her and my son to live their lives to the fullest and be kind and compassionate people. Now, don’t get me wrong, they’re outspoken and opinionated (we have great conversations and debates), but they are always respectful.
Y’all, I am still in awe of how God blessed me with these two. It’s been decades and I still look at them with amazement. I cannot believe I am a mother. And I had absolutely no idea that they would love me like they do. As a little girl, I prayed for children who would love me unconditionally (of course I didn’t use that term back then but it’s exactly what I wanted). Honestly, I really didn’t believe it was possible because I had never witnessed that kind of mother/child relationship before. I just knew that was what I wanted. So, while they were growing up, I tried to make sure they knew without a doubt that they were seen, heard, appreciated, and loved. Now they are doing the same for me.
This morning—the reason behind the tears—I received my grades on several assignments from last week, and all had perfect scores. After I texted my two the good news, my daughter sent me money to treat myself to lunch. Y’all, that’s what I used to do for her. Now she’s doing it for me. And that Beyoncé concert! Y’all, I didn’t have to spend a dime. She took care of it all. I know it may not sound like much but it’s everything to me. So thoughtful.
Okay.. enough crying. I have things to do. Just wanted to share my blessing with you.
Y’all, I have been so busy since I made it home from house sitting. Seems like I haven’t had a chance to catch my breath. I would provide details but at the moment, I’m a little too tired. However, I will tell you this.
My son is officially a freshman in college!
Which means he’s already testing his independence and boundaries. Friday, I moved him into the dorms. Yesterday, he was already exploring the campus. Yesterday around noon, I received a text from him informing me that he was going out to eat with friends. Umm.. What friends? I didn’t ask. Just texted back “Okay” and “Separate checks.” He said that was the plan. Well, that was around lunchtime. Tried calling him several hours later and got the “The person you’re trying to reach is not available at this time” message. I already knew his phone was dead. I didn’t panic. Told myself he would reach out soon, and he did. Well, that was around 6 PM.
Around 10:30 PM, I receive a text from my daughter asking if I thought my son accidentally blocked her because all of her iMessages were turning green. Of course I didn’t think that he had so I did something I guess she hadn’t tried, I called him. Well… I got the same lovely message again. This time I was a bit concerned. Not because I believed something was wrong but because he was being irresponsible. Around midnight I get a call from him apologizing saying he didn’t know his phone had died. I assured him that it was okay, but definitely not okay. I also told him that his sister was worried so he called her.
Before I went to bed, I texted him to see if he was okay and told him that I was happy he was having fun. Y’all, this is someone who’s on his phone almost every waking hour of the day and he had no idea his phone was dead. So he was really enjoying himself, which made me smile.
I believe he’s learned his lesson. Well, at least I hope he has. I am so looking forward to guiding him through this next phase of life. I know it may be challenging at times; however, I’m confident that God will give me the patience, wisdom and tools needed to make it to the next phase.
Thanks for reading! Wishing you a wonderful, relaxing week.
Happy Hump Day! It’s Wednesday again. The second Wednesday of the year, to be exact.
Feeling some kind of way this morning because I am not really feeling anything at all. I don’t feel happy, sad, excited, mad, nothing. As my son would say, “Meh.” Not sure if that’s a feeling but that is exactly where I am.
Usually, by this time of the year, I have created a vision board, made a “progress” video (I make short progression videos at least twice a year where I talk about my goals and things I have accomplished- believe I only made one last year) and have written at least ten journal entries by now. Well, I have not done any of it. So far I only have three journal entries for this year. I know, I blog and make social media posts, but it’s not the same. Five years from now, I need to be able to find out what I was doing on a particular date and without it documented, I will never know. Maybe it’s not as important as I am making it out to be. Maybe I just woke up in my feelings, or with the lack of feelings. Nah.. I’m definitely feeling but unfortunately I don’t have a name for it.
This morning, while going through my Facebook memories, I found this gem, which is more than 30 years old. I shared on Facebook in 2016 with the following caption:
My 12th grade English teacher gave me this 20+ years ago. It inspired me then, and continues to inspire me today. 💗
My Inspiration
Everyone in our class received cards from Ms. Tressin, but mine was special. Looking back, she saw something in me that I thought was hidden from the world. She knew I was a dreamer.
Maybe that’s what I am feeling this morning. I have imagined it. I have dreamed it. And yet, here I am thirty years later still chasing the dream. Or am I? Y’all, I believe I am having an “Aha” moment.
So… transparent moment… if you have been following me since last April, you know that I resigned from my job in pursuit of fulfilling my dreams. Well, over the months I have felt like a boat without an anchor, being tossed all over the place. When I resigned, I had no plan, no real direction about where I wanted to go. All I knew is, I was free! Hadn’t felt that free since I was in high school. I felt like I had the opportunity to begin again. However, I had too many years of education, degrees, and experience to just throw it all away. Plus everyone kept making suggestions about where I should be or could be heading. So, I felt compelled to continue along that path. Exactly like a high school senior! Wow!! Well, to be honest, every time I attempt to do it, I feel trapped. I know what to do to make it work. I have done it for years, but it is not where my heart lies. So far I have wasted money on trying to pursue things that would make me money but my heart has not been in anything I have done. Yeah.. it all sounded good but my heart kept screaming “NO!”
Here’s what I truly want at this moment in time, and what I wanted when I resigned. I want to be the best mom I can possibly be. I want to be able to spend as much time as I possibly can with my children. Right now I have no desire to pursue a career and be a mom. I just want to be a mom, create memories, share inspirational thoughts and spread love, kindness and hope throughout the world. Sounds pretty flower-childish, doesn’t it? Lol! But that’s what I want to do! And guess what?! It’s exactly what I have been blessed to do. I am living off of less than I have ever made and I’m okay. Question is, shouldn’t I want more?
Maybe I’m thinking too much this morning. This probably should have been a journal entry. Lol. But here it is, my first random rambling of the year. Not going to delete any of it. Just gonna publish and keep going. Everything will work out.
So, last week, my son began his final semester of high school. Yes, the count down is real! Well, during our drive to school, I was so hyped, talking a mile a minute about all the things he would be able to do once on his own. Listen, you would have thought it was my last semester instead of his! Well, he was the least bit enthused. He just sat there quietly while I went on and on and on about how great life was about to be for him. After about five minutes or so (yes, that long), I noticed that he wasn’t celebrating with me. I asked what was wrong, why wasn’t he excited. That’s when he asked if I was going to leave him alone. Y’all, it never dawned on me that he may have been nervous. I just assumed he felt the same way I felt during my last semester of high school. Baby, I was ready!! Well, at that point, I reassured him that he would never have to go through life alone. That no matter how old he got, or whatever happened in life, I would always here for him. And that seemed to do the trick. He pepped up and was ready for school.
After I dropped him off, I realized that also meant I would be alone and on my own too. Needless to say, I was no longer celebrating. Gotta love life.
Thought I would share this Facebook memory with you. I posted it five years ago. I cannot say it enough, I am so proud the man my son is becoming. Always respectful, kind, compassionate and attentive. May God’s grace and mercy follow him throughout his life.
Facebook Memory: January 9, 2017
Feeling some kind of way. Don’t know how to explain it. KeShawn picks up on it and asks if I’ve listened to my music today. I asked him, “What music?” He said, “Your Luther.”
All smiles. My kids know me so well. I can listen to music all day. It’s so soothing. And there’s nothing like listening to Luther. ☺️
My babies get me!
Well, that’s it for today’s Hello Sunday. Thanks for reading. Wising you a wonderfully, blessed day!
Shaun
** We (I) decided to celebrate his last semester of high school with a celebratory treat from his favorite sushi place.
Cyndi Lauper/Punk Rock roll & Elvis/Jailhouse rollCrispy Crab WontonsAhi Tuna Salad (wasn’t the best😔)
It’s Shaun’s World 
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