Time passes so quickly. Seems like yesterday I was fresh out of high school preparing to conquer the world. Pretty typical, huh? You wake up one morning and surprisingly, years have passed. That goal or dream you had 10, 20, or 30 years ago, now seems like a blur. Here’s my thought – maybe it wasn’t meant to be years ago. Maybe you needed time to experience life, to mature, to dream bigger. Although it did not happen then, doesn’t mean it still can’t happen now. My advice – Readjust and go for it!
Happy Hump Day! It’s Wednesday again. The second Wednesday of the year, to be exact.
Feeling some kind of way this morning because I am not really feeling anything at all. I don’t feel happy, sad, excited, mad, nothing. As my son would say, “Meh.” Not sure if that’s a feeling but that is exactly where I am.
Usually, by this time of the year, I have created a vision board, made a “progress” video (I make short progression videos at least twice a year where I talk about my goals and things I have accomplished- believe I only made one last year) and have written at least ten journal entries by now. Well, I have not done any of it. So far I only have three journal entries for this year. I know, I blog and make social media posts, but it’s not the same. Five years from now, I need to be able to find out what I was doing on a particular date and without it documented, I will never know. Maybe it’s not as important as I am making it out to be. Maybe I just woke up in my feelings, or with the lack of feelings. Nah.. I’m definitely feeling but unfortunately I don’t have a name for it.
This morning, while going through my Facebook memories, I found this gem, which is more than 30 years old. I shared on Facebook in 2016 with the following caption:
My 12th grade English teacher gave me this 20+ years ago. It inspired me then, and continues to inspire me today. 💗
My Inspiration
Everyone in our class received cards from Ms. Tressin, but mine was special. Looking back, she saw something in me that I thought was hidden from the world. She knew I was a dreamer.
Maybe that’s what I am feeling this morning. I have imagined it. I have dreamed it. And yet, here I am thirty years later still chasing the dream. Or am I? Y’all, I believe I am having an “Aha” moment.
So… transparent moment… if you have been following me since last April, you know that I resigned from my job in pursuit of fulfilling my dreams. Well, over the months I have felt like a boat without an anchor, being tossed all over the place. When I resigned, I had no plan, no real direction about where I wanted to go. All I knew is, I was free! Hadn’t felt that free since I was in high school. I felt like I had the opportunity to begin again. However, I had too many years of education, degrees, and experience to just throw it all away. Plus everyone kept making suggestions about where I should be or could be heading. So, I felt compelled to continue along that path. Exactly like a high school senior! Wow!! Well, to be honest, every time I attempt to do it, I feel trapped. I know what to do to make it work. I have done it for years, but it is not where my heart lies. So far I have wasted money on trying to pursue things that would make me money but my heart has not been in anything I have done. Yeah.. it all sounded good but my heart kept screaming “NO!”
Here’s what I truly want at this moment in time, and what I wanted when I resigned. I want to be the best mom I can possibly be. I want to be able to spend as much time as I possibly can with my children. Right now I have no desire to pursue a career and be a mom. I just want to be a mom, create memories, share inspirational thoughts and spread love, kindness and hope throughout the world. Sounds pretty flower-childish, doesn’t it? Lol! But that’s what I want to do! And guess what?! It’s exactly what I have been blessed to do. I am living off of less than I have ever made and I’m okay. Question is, shouldn’t I want more?
Maybe I’m thinking too much this morning. This probably should have been a journal entry. Lol. But here it is, my first random rambling of the year. Not going to delete any of it. Just gonna publish and keep going. Everything will work out.
So, around 2:00 AM this morning, I got this idea to create a TikTok account to document my adventures. Basically, to document my travels, food and fun (actually selfies – smile). As usual, once I get a creative idea in my head, I have to act on it no matter how tired I am. And that’s exactly what I did! And y’all, I’m tired!
At 2:00 AM, I decided to create a new TikTok account for It’s Shaun’s World and rename the current one, Shaun’s Daily Inspiration. The NEW It’s Shaun’s World will now house documentaries of my adventures.
For years I have watched and followed culinarians like Marcus Samuelsson, Guy Fieri, Adrian E. Miller and the late Anthony Bourdain travel the world and document their culinary experiences. Secretly, I always wished I could do the same. Well… I can! Imagine that! I have everything I need to get started. One thing this pandemic has taught me is that life is too short to continue sitting on the sidelines waiting for the “right” time to get started, when the “right” time is NOW! Here’s my introductory video.
Welcome to It’s Shaun’s World
Before I end, at the beginning of every new year I choose a word or phrase for the year. This year’s phrase is, “Unapologetically Me.” Last year, on November 14, 2021, Bishop T.D. Jakes told us to mark the date on our calendars as the last time we would apologize for being who we were. Since I have always considered myself quirky, when he used the term quirkiness, I knew the message was for me. Immediately, I began separating myself from people and situations that made me want to apologize for being myself. Since making those changes, I can honestly say it feels good to be me! I no longer feel intimidated or less than. Now I feel free to create.
Okay.. let me end this and take a nap. If you didn’t see my previous blog, I would like to wish you Happy New Year! Enjoy 2022!!
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