Life

Wednesday Writings

Disclaimer: I have decided to publish the unedited draft of this blog. Not going to change a thing. Talk about completely random! Laughing. Y’all, I’m so fascinated by how the mind works.. how my mind works. Yes, today I’m going to let it be. So, two, 10 or even 30 years from now, I’ll smile when I re-read it. I’ll definitely cringe too. But I’ll smile and say, “That was me. This is me. I love you, Shaun.”

Hello! And Happy Wednesday!

Today is another random blog. Was reading journal entries from 1992 and decided to write about those writings.

On May 20, 1992, I wrote, “Love is so powerful and strong, but when it’s one sided, it’s not so great.” I was 18 years old. Two weeks from enlisting in the Air Force and a little over a month from my 19th birthday. And I was in love. Well.. at least I believed I was.

His name was Will. I usually don’t include names but hey, it’s been 30 years. Yes, Will was his name and I was in “love.” Looking back, what did I really know about love besides what I saw in movies and read in novels. I had to be in love because love hurts, and I was hurting. I mean, the deeper the pain, the deeper the love. Right? Boy, was I confused.

Now, here I am sitting here 30 years later wondering if I have ever been in love. Real love. Or was it that make believe kind of love. Here’s my theory, which I shared with my ex-husband when he would ask if I was in love with him. I would say, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you. Because if you fall in love with someone, you can always fall out of love with them.” Hmm.. It sounded good; however, in all honesty, I didn’t want to be in love because I only remembered the pain associated with it. I never wanted to feel that pain again.

I once read, it’s not love that hurts but the rejection and heartache we associate with love. When I think about it, I believe I have only been in love once.. maybe twice. I say this because they’re the ones I still smile about when I think of them. The ones that still make me feel all warm inside.

I believe when you fall in love with someone, you never fall out of love with them. You can relabel it as, “I care for them,” or “I love them like family,” but deep down you know there’s a difference. Sometimes things aren’t meant to be during this lifetime, or perhaps it happened during a past lifetime, but it happened and you know it because you still feel it.

Love…

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Shades of Blue

Today’s Hello Sunday is dedicated to someone I truly admire, Mr. Tyler Perry.

A few years ago, I wrote a similar blog but decided to unpublish it. I unpublished it because I thought it was a little immature and could be misleading. Listen, when I’m passionate about something or someone it shows. Y’all, I can’t hide it. Well, at the time I may have been a little too passionate. I was accused of being a fanatic, obsessed, in love and so much more. All because I truly admired– and still do– Tyler. So I toned down my admiration. I mean, if everyone else thought all those things, there’s no telling what he would think had he known. I’m laughing now, but I didn’t want him or his people blocking me on social media. Yeah.. I was a bit much.

Anyway, what people failed to realize, which I attempted to explain in my previous blog, is how my life changed once I started following him on social media. From Tyler’s words of wisdom, to his passion for helping others, I was hooked. No, the plays, movies and shows didn’t draw me in, those came later. To me, he was doing everything I once dreamed of doing– connecting with people on a human level and assisting those in need. PLUS.. he was from the south.. “The Dirty South.” Ha! There was no way I would not follow and support him. He’s my people! Also, he gave me one of my greatest gifts, the ability to dream again. For this, I am eternally grateful.

Yesterday, I watched a commencement speech he gave to Emory University graduates. It was only 18 minutes long but packed with so many gems. Y’all, his ability to connect with people on a personal level is astonishing. It’s priceless!

So, today I’m giving Tyler his roses. He’s earned them. I could spend hours telling you how he’s influenced my life over the years but don’t worry, I won’t. During his speech, he dropped another nugget of wisdom I needed to hear. Smiling while crying. Again, forever grateful.

Listen, Tyler Perry is so much more than Madea and his movies, shows and plays. He’s a beautiful human being with a big heart. Wishing him a lifetime of unconditional love, blessings and success.

Here’s the link to his speech– Tyler Perry’s Emory Univ. Commencement Speech. Enjoy!

As always, thanks for reading. Wishing you many blessings as well.

Shaun

Life

Wednesday Writings

Happy Wednesday!

Today makes 361 consecutive days of blogging! For some reason, I assumed the one year mark was closer to my birthday, in June. Well, I actually began this journey on May 14, 2021 with this blog, Just Dropping In To Say Hello.

After reading what I wrote almost a year ago, it seems as if I have a pattern of logging off social media around the same time every year. It’s always around this time (April/May) and the end/beginning of the year. Makes me wonder what it is about these specific times that I need to take a break from social media, a.k.a. chaos.

Back in December, I officially logged off my main twitter account, the one that was beginning to make me feel like I didn’t belong and had my anxiety levels through the roof. Imagine feeling like you don’t belong, on your own account. It was crazy!

Well, after logging off, I reverted to my secondary account. The account that I once referred to as “boring.” Shaking my head. I only invited people who I believed I made a positive connection with, to follow me to this account. You know, real people with real lives. I no longer wanted to be in that pretentious, competitive space. I needed calm, boring (anything but.. Lol) and real.. real conversations. Every now and then I get the urge to discuss my shows or a good movie, and I’ll provide a comment or two. However, I will never go back to where I was. I didn’t like it there.

Today, I’m happy where I am, in the spaces I’m in. In last year’s blog I mentioned the Facebook group, We Are Sistas (private group based on Tyler Perry’s Sistas). Well, I’m still there. For a minute though, I was thinking about leaving the group. It was becoming too much like my old Twitter account, too many negative vibes. Then I thought about the people I’ve connected with over the past few years and decided that my bond with them far outweighed the other stuff. Now, Instagram (IG).. I still have a love-hate relationship with it. However, I believe I have unfollowed all of the accounts that used to trigger my anxiety. Either that or I’m becoming better at managing it. Currently, I mainly follow people/accounts that feed my soul. Sorry but I don’t want to hear bitter rants or about how awful people are. I’d rather have a calm, uneventful, inspiring timeline. Oh! And I do follow my shows on IG and Facebook. So I still get to comment on posts and replies whenever the urge hits me. Yes, it’s still my happy space.

Okay y’all.. I did not intend for this blog to be so long. Guess I felt like writing. Hope you’re having a wonderful week thus far and wishing you an even better rest of the week!

Shaun