Life

Me vs Twitter

Yesterday I did something I’ve done many times before; however, this time was different. Yesterday morning I decided to log of Twitter, and I didn’t feel like I was being punished. Usually when I log off, I have to convince myself that it’s for my own good. Y’all, it’s never easy because I always feel like I’m losing my best friend or part of me. Pathetic, right? Well, yesterday I logged off without any regrets and it felt so good!

Oftentimes, I find myself wondering what life was like before social media. What were we doing? There was a time when I was so addicted to the games on Facebook (think this is where it began) that I was checking my farm (Farmville) and cafe (Café World) at work. I remember one of my colleagues asking if I remembered to check my food in my Café. Talk about crazy! Looking back, I couldn’t imagine myself living without my farm or cafe. Now they’re only memories.

Truthfully, besides the farm and cafe, I was never that attached to Facebook. I could log off for days and not feel like I was missing anything. But Twitter… Twitter is a-whole-nother story! I love Twitter because it’s fast-paced and so interactive. Talk about exhilarating! It’s a great place to discuss shared interests and get instant feedback. Now, this is where my problem resides– LIVE tweeting. (Y’all, I can’t even say “reside” without hearing “Where the money reside, where the money reside.” Lol) Listen, there’s nothing like LIVE tweeting during my favorite shows! It’s like being in a theater with a bunch of people who like talking during movies. As I said, very interactive. My problem, though, is I can’t seem to turn it off after the shows are over. I want to continue talking about them. Like… for days! I crave the interaction. I’m telling you, it’s addictive. I guess you can say the only good thing is, I like discussing fake drama not real drama. Real drama is a little too much. This is where Twitter becomes overwhelming and I’m forced to log off to maintain my sanity. Which was my reasoning for logging off yesterday.

With that said, yesterday evening I decided to log back on a little before my show, #TheOvalOnBET (just in case you want to tweet with us) came on. Was planning to log off afterwards but I stayed to tweet during my other show Ruthless (no hashtag for this one- y’all ain’t ready- LOL!). Afterwards, I happily logged off. I had gotten my fix and was out of there. Y’all, I’m really proud of myself because I didn’t think I could do it without feeling like I was losing something. Honestly, I’m good until my other show comes on. I guess you can say I’m reclaiming my life! Lol

By the way, two of my favorite shows were renewed for a third season– Tyler Perry’s The Oval and Sistas (#SistasOnBET). I’m so happy for Tyler and the cast! However, I’m even happier for me because I have something to tweet about for another year or so. Yep.. I’m smiling.

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Short story:

Every morning, as soon as my great-great grandmother stepped foot out of bed, she would grab her huge white bible, flip to Psalm 23, and began reading– well, more like reciting– the entire chapter, aloud. Not a day went by that she didn’t do this. Y’all, I hate to admit this but it wasn’t until a few months ago that I realized this ritual set her mood for the day. That one chapter had her smiling, humming and singing all day long. Well… let’s just say that I choose to believe that’s what had her humming and smiling all day long.

Anyway, a few months ago, I decided I wanted to be like her and establish my own morning ritual by reading a chapter from the book of Psalms. However, I wanted my own chapter because, thanks to her, I already knew Psalm 23 by heart. Plus that was her chapter. Well, I’m not sure how or why I chose Psalm 113; however, once I read it I knew it was for me. Just for me. Here’s a snippet of what gets me going each morning.

Psalm 113:1-3 NIV

Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, you his servants; praise the name of the Lord. Psalm 113:1

Let the name of the Lord be praised, both now and forevermore. Psalm 113:2

From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised. Psalm 113:3

As I said, this is just a snippet. There are six more verses in the chapter. I don’t know about you but the first three verses have me smiling already. Y’all, there’s just nothing like starting a day with praise.

I love, y’all! Have a blessed week!

Shaun

Life

Twenty-Six

Smiling as I write because first of all, I’m actually a mother; and secondly, I’m a mother of a 26 year old queen. How? When? On most days, I still feel like I’m in my 20s.

So, around this time (6 a.m.) 26 years ago, I was trying to rest but couldn’t get comfortable. I was having contractions but they were only 7-10 minutes apart. The night before I had called my friend Sue, my unofficial birthing partner, to prepare her for what was next. Then, I called my other friend, Trina, who was the only one with a child and “experienced” in childbirth, to give her a heads up. Trina also lived across the street from the hospital so I had somewhere I could chill before checking into the hospital. I remember her saying not to have the baby until she got off work. Like I actually had control over when the baby would come. Y’all, we were so young and naive.

Well, around 2:00 p.m. my contractions were about 3-5 minutes apart. I’m just going to let y’all know, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing! I was following instructions I heard tv doctors give their pregnant patients, “Wait until the contractions are 2-3 minutes apart, then go to the hospital.” Y’all, I hadn’t called a doctor at all! The last time I called the doctor’s office was when I lost my mucus plug and that was days before. However, I did call Sue, who lived 30 minutes away in Ft. Walton Beach.

When she got to my house we grabbed my bag and headed… not to the hospital… but to Trina’s house. According to wonderful doctors like Heathcliff Huxtable, I needed to wait until the contractions were 2-3 minutes apart before heading to the hospital. So I was going to wait. By the time I arrived at Trina’s, I was so hungry. Hadn’t eaten anything all day because I heard some women used the bathroom while giving birth and that was the LAST thing I wanted to do. You see, my obstetrician was FINE!! Whew!! He had muscles everywhere! The last thing I wanted to do was use the bathroom while giving birth. But y’all, I was so hungry. First, I ate a bowl of ramen noodles. Then, I ate a little bit of every sugar-sweetened cereal she had in the house. Honestly, I don’t believe I knew what I was doing. I was in pain. I was trying to wait for the right moment to go to the hospital. Y’all, I was scared. All I knew to do was eat.

Anyway, once the contractions became unbearable, I went to the hospital and checked into labor and delivery. When I got there, I attempted to explained to the nurse that I was in labor. I don’t know what was going on that day but I remember her snapping at me and saying if I wasn’t dilated 4 cm they were going to send me home. That’s all she said and left me standing there. I guess the people in the waiting room felt sorry for me because they were the ones who got me a wheelchair and talked to me until Sue came up (she was parking the car). Everything that happened afterwards happened really fast. When the nurse checked me, I was more than 4 cm dilated. That’s when she actually tried to help. In hindsight, I guess I didn’t appear to be in labor. Like that’s a real thing. Believe me, the contractions were coming and I was in so much pain. But the cramps I endured during my menstrual cycles were far worse. So I just did what I did whenever I cramped, I beared it. I never once screamed or got out of character. I just took it.

Less than 3 hours later my baby was born. And no, I didn’t use the bathroom while having her. Lol. Another crazy thing happened afterwards. Sue asked me if the nurses were playing some kind of joke (told you we were young). Our wristbands had another mother’s name on them. Y’all, we had on the wrong wristbands! Talk about CRAZY!! I’m so happy we got that cleared up or I would have brought home someone else’s baby.

So that was 26 years ago. Today, I’m happy to report that the last 26 years have been just as adventurous, if not more. I have truly enjoyed motherhood. It’s been an honor watching KiSondrea become the woman she is today. I pray that today, and everyday forward, is just as wonderful and adventurous as the day of her birth.

Happy Birthday, Ki! ❤️

Love Always– Mother

Happy 26th!!
Life

Lesson Learned

Quote by Tony Gaskins, 2019

Found this quote in today’s Facebook memories from 2019. In the memory, I had written a long caption about how I had been reading journal entries from the 90s and discovered I hadn’t changed much. I noted that I had grown spiritually and professionally, and was also making better decisions. However, my personality, heart, and spirit hadn’t really changed. I questioned why I had not grown stronger in those areas, meaning, why hadn’t I changed? You see, those were the areas that made me feel inadequate around others. That made me feel vulnerable in certain situations. That made me love harder than I should have. You would think 30 years would’ve made a difference, but it hadn’t.

That was two years ago. Here I am today, same personality, heart, and spirit. At first I asked myself why these characteristics hadn’t changed. You see, over the years I have tried to change them. Tried not to be so sentimental or emotional. Tried not to wear my heart on my sleeve. Tried to fit in by being less silly and more poised. Yeah.. I tried to be everything I wasn’t, everything I’m not. Then it hit me, those aren’t weaknesses. Those are my strengths. They don’t need to be changed. They need to be embraced. The only reason I continue to feel vulnerable while embracing them is because I’m trying to get others to embrace them as well. I guess you can say I’m having an “AHA” moment. Maybe that’s the lesson Tony Gaskins was referring to. I will never be able to move to the next level as long as continue to remain in the presence of those who do not fully accept Shaun. Umm… I believe it’s time to re-evaluate my circle. What’s that old saying– “If it don’t fit, don’t force it.” I will no longer try to force myself to fit where I’m not embraced. Period!

Thanks for reading!

Shaun

Life

Happy New Year’s Eve – 2017

If you have already read the blog I posted earlier, then you’ll know I had decided not to reblog last year’s blog. It was too depressing. Then, while scrolling through my Facebook memories, I came across this gem. It feels so good to be back!! Enjoy!

Happy New Year’s Eve! As always, I start one blog with the intention of posting it. Then on the day I decide to post it, I come up with something …

Happy New Year’s Eve – 2017
Life

2020 – What A Year!

Yes… What a year! Listen, I have to confess, I had the idea of reblogging last year’s end of the year blog and adding an overcomer’s intro– “This is where I was but God brought me out!” Sorry to disappoint or save you– it’s not going to happen. This time last year, I was really down and depressed. Had good reasons to be, but WOW! I had no idea I was that far gone. With that said, I will acknowledge that was where I was; however, I am so grateful I am no longer there. This year I am going to end things on a high note, you know, just in case I decide to reblog it next year. Gotta be intentional. Lol! Here we go:

First, and utmost importantly, I would like to thank God for all of His wonderful blessings. I cannot lie, He has been so good to me! Instead of giving a detailed review about everything He’s done, I will only highlight some of the key moments-

March 2020 – Purchased my home.
May 2020 – Decided to make my blogs public.
June 2020 – Turned 47 and decided to be my true, authentic self.
August 2020 – Invited to be a contributing author in a book anthology.
September 2020 – Became the Principal Investigator on one of my research projects.
October 2020 – Did my first live interview promoting myself. It was for the book, but it was all about me.
November 2020 – Did another presentation for the same company that left me feeling inadequate for two years. (That was major! Had to face that bull head on.)
December 2020 – Decided to live my life to its fullest! No regret!!

Needless to say, I don’t know what 2021 holds. None of us do. However, I will say I’m entering 2021 with open arms, an open mind, and an open heart, expecting to receive more blessings than hurts. Yeah, I’m entering 2021 knowing that whatever comes and whatever goes, God’s got me. That he will NEVER leave me.

Before I end, I wanted to share this with you. It’s a little off topic, but, for me, it is so timely. Wanted to write it here in case I don’t get around to adding it to A Research Diva’s Journey. Again, being intentional. So, I’m reading this book about the United Nations, “The Case for Humanity: An Extraordinary Session” by Yasmine Sherif. It’s about the underlying founding principles of the United Nations – vision, hope, peace, love, and humanity – everything I’m passionate about. Y’all, it is so important that we do not allow negativity to obscure our vision for the future. Listen, no matter how dismal things may appear, please embrace the positive and hold on to hope. In the words of the great Reverend Jesse Jackson, “Keep hope alive!”

That’s all I have for you today. Going to end with a quote from the book.

“It always seems impossible until it’s done. There is no passion found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” Nelson Mandela

My word for 2021 is “Live!” Can’t you hear Tim McGraw singing, “Live like you were dying.” I can.

Happy New Year’s Eve!!

Be blessed!

Shaun