Life

My Facebook Memory: August 11, 2019

Hello! Here is a Facebook memory that I thought I would share. It was written on August 11, 2019, after a year of being in the doctoral program. This past March I decided to take a leave of absence, again (details included in the memory). This time it was the uncertainty of COVID-19 that had me stressed. I just could not focus on school. So I decided to take a year off. As I did last time, I have questioned myself about my reasons for pursuing this degree. Is it something I truly want? Glad I have a few more months to decide. Then we shall see what happens.

Here’s the memory (unedited):

Good Morning! No social media find this morning. I just feel like sharing.

Today’s the last official day of class. It’s been a year that I’ve been in the DrPH program. I’m not sure why I thought it would be easy. I’m still puzzled about that initial phone interview with my advisor. I was just so chipper. Why???🙄 I work at a university. I’ve seem so many students struggle through their doctoral program. Yet, somehow I thought things would be different for me. What was wrong with me?😩

A few days ago I finally really looked at my degree plan. Yeah, I never really reviewed it. I just started taking classes and going with the flow. When I saw how many hours I had left, my heart sank. The thought crossed my mind, “Will I ever have a life?” Y’all, this program is about to consume ALL of my time. I’m not going to lie, so far I haven’t been disciplined at all. I started off really disciplined. Had everything scheduled down to my “Tyler Perry Tuesdays” tweet time. Yeah, one hour to watch and tweet during the show and 1/2 hour afterwards to reply to tweets. I was serious. Then, life happened. It’s amazing how one little thing can shake you and your whole system crumbles.

I began to realize I used social media as a way of coping with the things happening around me. Whenever I wanted to get away, I would log on and mindlessly scroll down my timeline. Social media is a great distractor when you don’t want to deal with reality. At the time, I was going through the divorce. Somehow, in my little mind, I thought it was going to be a piece of cake and it wasn’t. Also, things at work were becoming stressful. It was just a lot. Then, on top of that, I had school. I had to post and respond to discussions every week. Honestly, it was all taking a toll on me. I finally realized I couldn’t take anymore and sat out the spring term.

During my break, I did a lot of soul searching. Was this program for me? Could I fulfill my purpose without the degree? Was my purpose even worth the struggle? Why couldn’t I just let everything go and just enjoy life like everyone else? I mean, I’ve already retired from the military. I’m sort helping my community through my research projects. Why not sit back and enjoy life? Why do I always have to make things harder for myself? Well, because that’s exactly what I do. I love a challenge. Something inside of me, no matter how hard I try to fight it, wants the adventure. So, when my advisor called me before the summer term began, and asked me if I was returning to school, I confidently told him I was going to finish the program.🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

So, here I am. This time I’m really serious about being more disciplined. I’m trying to narrow down my use of social media to things that will help me along this journey. I’ve discovered that the Twitter accounts I follow on my ResearchDiva site reflect were I’m going (UN in Geneva☺️). I’ve been able to use some of the information I’ve come across for my discussions and assignments. My Mississippi Thriving IG makes me feel like I’m still supporting my community. My blog, It’s Shaun’s World, gives me an outlet for sharing my random thoughts. And this page… y’all make everything worth it. I love logging on and seeing your smiling faces. Y’all keep me grounded.

I know this was long. I needed to get it out. So, if I miss posting a few social media finds, or showing you love, it’s not because I don’t care, I’m just trying to stay focused.

I love y’all!

GodIsWorking

BeBlessed 🙏🏽♥️

Thanks for reading!

Shaun

Life

Psalm 23

Makes me feel like royalty.

My first thought was to save this for my weekly Hello Sunday blog since it sounds like a Sunday message. But this is how I am feeling now– in this particular moment. So I am sharing.

After checking Facebook and Twitter this morning, I began to feel discouraged. Every post/tweet was about chaos and doom. If someone was not sharing stories about us going to a cashless, socialist society, then they were sharing stories about injustices and living in the last days. Sometimes.. no.. most of the time, it is so overwhelming. However, this morning, as always, God reminded me that He is still in control. Our job is to trust Him in spite of what we see.

Story time:

When I was a little girl, I spent my summers with my great-great grandma, Madea. Every morning Madea would get up, pray, and read one chapter from her ginormous white Bible. That chapter was Psalm 23. It was her morning ritual. Y’all, she did this every morning before she started her day. To this day, that entire chapter is instilled in me. However, verse 4 is my secret weapon. Whenever I feel afraid, that one verse seems to calm all of my fears. I dare you to recite it when you are afraid. Whew! Talk about peace like no other! Personally, it kind of makes me feel like royalty. As if my daddy is The King and I am His princess. Like nothing can touch me. Sounds crazy– huh? But it does.

Anyway, without further ado, here is Psalm 23. Enjoy! And use it!

Psalm 23 KJV

1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Amen. Y’all, God is with us. Trust Him.

Shaun

Life

My Love-Hate Relationship with Twitter

I have this love-hate relationship with Twitter that is driving me crazy. I created my first Twitter account a little over six years ago to follow other registered dietitians, celebrity chefs, people in academia, and a few colleagues. Slowly, I began adding celebrities, television shows, and began following my followers. About a month later, I recognized I needed another account to separate my professional life from my guilty pleasures of tweeting during my favorite shows. Sadly, those two accounts have transformed into five accounts. Yes, I have five Twitter accounts. This is where the love-hate relationship comes in.

I love Twitter. Y’all, it is my favorite social media platform. I love it because the interaction is constant, especially while live tweeting during shows. Also, unlike Facebook and Instagram, I only know a handful of my followers. Which is what originally drew me to Twitter. I saw it as a place where I could freely express myself and not worry about being judged. Hmm… So I thought. Here is where the hate comes in.

So, why do I hate Twitter? Well.. not necessarily hate, because hate is such a strong word, so dislike.. why do I dislike Twitter? Twitter seems to magnify my insecurities more than any other platform. Honestly, I feel like I am always being judged or scrutinized based on my tweets, replies, and retweets. Since about 90% of my tweets are related to my shows, I feel like an imposter (yes I suffer from imposter syndrome) when attempting to tweet something serious and meaningful. This has really affected the way I interact with followers on my professional accounts. Anytime I attempt to tweet something of worth, I feel like I am being judged. I also have to admit (being very transparent right now) this is one of the reasons I stopped blogging professionally. I began to feel like an imposter.

Right now, I feel like I am at a crossroad. Like I have to decide between professionalism or my guilty pleasures. Tweeting during my shows is my outlet. It is when I unwind. It is where I feel most comfortable being myself. However, I realize it is hindering me professionally. I need to start tweeting more from my professional accounts. I need to start blogging professionally, again. I have so many decisions to make. Is it possible to do both and not feel less authentic? Life…..

Shaun

Uncategorized

I Deleted My Social Media Apps

It is so sad when the only way you can regulate your time on social media is to delete the apps. Yes, I deleted ALL of them – Twitter (my greatest distraction), Facebook and Instagram. Not sure how long this will last. However, at this very moment, I am no longer connected.

Releasing all of the negative, pinned up energy. Only positive thoughts and vibes.

Shaun