My life. My world. Love, hope, peace, joy & happiness.
I can hear James Cleveland’s choir singing:
“God is the joy and the strength of my life. He removes all pain, misery and strife. He promised to keep me. Never to leave me. He’ll never ever fall short of His word… God is my all and all.” Amen ~ Shaun
Last week I experienced another major life shift. Unlike nine years ago, I felt the shift and didn’t panic. I felt it and actually smiled.
You see, when I turned 40, my life began to change. Actually.. it began to unravel. I can even tell you when the shift happened. It was on my 40th birthday. I was disappointed because my birthday was not what I had always imagined– wasn’t even close. I know it sounds shallow but it was a big deal, a very big deal. Honestly, I tried to convince myself that I could live with the disappointment, but I couldn’t. All I could think about was a life of being asked to be content with disappointments. This prompted me to ask myself, “Shaun, where do you see yourself in ten years?”. I also asked my ex the same. Well.. guess what?! We are both exactly where we said we saw ourselves being. Hmm… life is interesting.
I didn’t see it then, but I see it now, that was when my marriage actually ended.
So that was a major shift.
Well, last week, after returning home, I felt another shift. I thought I was returning home to the babies I had left. Yeah.. I know, they are not babies but they will always be my babies. Anyhoo.. I returned home to two young adults. Adults who had been doing their own thing while I was gone. I’m not going to lie, it took me a minute to adjust to the change, but only a minute. When I finally accepted that things had changed, I was like, “I like this.”
Listen, I’m smiling as I write because I spent the last year wondering how I would survive being an empty nester. Wondering what life would be like with only myself to care for. Well, I can happily and confidently say, I’m gonna be alright. I’m so looking forward to this next chapter.
Thanks for reading! Wishing you a wonderful day.
Shaun
Happy Sunday!
I have been back home almost a week, now. Got back last Monday. Umm.. I’m not really sure what I will write about today. So much happened last week that I truly don’t know where to begin. I guess it could be the side effects of this sinus/allergy medicine that’s causing the brain fog. Y’all, it basically knocks me out for two days (and it’s only Claritin). I was completely fine the two months I was gone. Then, the day I made it home I began to feel the sinus pressure. Yesterday I just had to take something. The Claritin will have me loopy for a while but once I get through this, I’ll be good to go!
Anyhoo.. I planned on writing more but I guess I’ll stop here because ain’t no telling what I’ll start writing about. However, before I end, I wanted to add that my son moves into the dorm next week! Y’all, I’m soooo excited for him. This is the beginning of his young adulthood and independence. I’m so proud of him.
Well, take care! Will write more on Wednesday. Enjoy your week.
Shaun
Happy Wednesday! Today’s blog is a hodgepodge of Facebook memories I that I’ve shared on this date over the years.
Okay.. Here’s the memory dump!
My response to a video Bishop T.D. Jakes shared:
THIS MESSAGE RIGHT HERE!!💃🏽
I am unique. There’s no other like me. There will never be another like me. God placed me in this world to fulfill a purpose that only I can fulfill. He made me exactly who He wanted me to be. So when you see me doing me, know that it’s all a part of God’s plan. He’s shaping me and molding me to fulfill His purpose. Whew!!
This is all I have for you today. Hopefully you were as blessed by the memories as I was. Listen, knowing that what’s meant for me will not miss me and I’m the ONLY one who can fulfill a specific purpose, makes me want to sing and dance. Y’all, I’m blessed.
Wishing you a wonderful Wednesday! Take Care.
Shaun
Obedience: Compliance with an order or request.
Obedience. For the past few days I have been seeing and hearing the word “obedience” everywhere. Even read a past journal entry this morning that referenced obedience. From past experience, I know that when something rings this loudly in my thoughts and surroundings, it’s a message. And to be completely honest (transparent) obedience is something I have been struggling with lately. Not necessarily being obedient to God now, but thinking about past requests for obedience that I obeyed and am now feeling somewhat out of place. However, the flip side of actually following through with the request is I feel more free and at peace. Weird, huh? Here’s an example.
Moment of Transparency:
One of my most recent struggles has been with Twitter. If you have read any of my past blogs over the years, you know that I have multiple accounts on multiple social media platforms. I know it may seem odd to have so many accounts, but for me, it’s my way of compartmentalizing the content I share. To me, it just makes sense to have multiple accounts. Anyway, I have had this one Twitter account for a little over eight years now that I have been struggling with letting go. The message I have gotten from God over the past few years has been to let it go, but for some reason, I can’t completely do it. Maybe it’s the memories, the connections, the friendships (virtual friendships) or the history that has me attached. Giving it up feels like I’m giving up a piece of me or eight years of memories. And y’all, the only thing I was asked to do was to log off. I wasn’t asked to delete it, just log off. Simple, right? Not really.
Well, at the end of last year, I was finally obedient and logged off. I did great for a while. Then a new movie came out that I really wanted to tweet about but couldn’t because I was no longer on that account. Although I shared a few tweets from one of my other accounts, it wasn’t the same. And y’all, my shows were getting so good! All I thought about was tweeting, but couldn’t. Talk about agony!
Honestly, logging off was one of the best things I could have done. It was so freeing. I felt so much lighter. What I didn’t realize then, which I do now, is that I was addicted to that account. Not Twitter, but that particular account. I couldn’t function without constantly checking it. Even when my mind wasn’t thinking about tweeting, my finger would find the Twitter app, open it and mindlessly scroll down my timeline. Y’all, it was really bad! And I know what had me addicted. It was the constant interaction and feedback I received; and when I didn’t get it, I would feel ignored or rejected. So I would tweet until I got the response I desired. Ha! Can’t get any more transparent than this, right? (Smile) Listen, I was a mess. I had to log off. It was so necessary. Y’all, my mental and emotional well-being was in jeopardy!
A couple of months ago, I decided to log back on to start sharing my quotes. So far things are going well. Confession– I have shared a few tweets outside of my quotes but I haven’t engaged in any tweeting activities. Yesterday, I was reading tweets that had been shared on Instagram. One post encouraged followers to LIVE tweet during the shows, which was something I used to do. Y’all, there’s nothing like LIVE tweeting. Anyway, after seeing the posts, I began feeling sad because I missed the action. I missed the conversations. I missed my people. I was so tempted to go back and pick up like I never left. But I couldn’t. Y’all, I never want to feel that weight of addiction again. It was too much!
Obedience. Fortunately, I can say the only thing I actually lost from being obedient was the addiction. The true connections and bonds I made over the years, as well as the memories I’ve created, still remain. Grateful
So, that was just one example of a recent struggle I’ve had with being obedient and releasing something. I also struggle with being obedient and receiving things. Now that’s the big one!
Well, this is all I have for today. Thanks for reading and enjoy your day!
Shaun
It’s 3:45 AM and I have been awake for over an hour now. Can’t sleep. I seem to have so much on my mind. If you have read my last few blogs, you know I’m going through some kind of transition. Every time I think I have it figured out, or a name for it, things change and I find myself back at square one trying to figure out what’s happening to me.
Am I lonely? Been house sitting for my sister for over a month and a half now with very little physical human contact. Pepé, her dog, provides some company, and as much as she’s grown on me, she’s still not human.
The next question I’ve asked myself is, am I depressed? I know depression comes in many forms. Perhaps I’m experiencing depression and not know it.
Am I bored? Now that one is difficult to answer. I have plenty that’s keeping me busy, but is it fulfilling? And at this moment the answer is, NO!
Before I began writing, I was searching for receptionist jobs. I have never been a receptionist before, but I do have experience with customer service. I mean, that’s what I have been doing almost my entire adulthood, serving others. I’m thinking being a receptionist, even part-time, will fill the need for physical human connectivity. Plus, it’s something totally different from anything I’m currently working on. I need variety in my life.
I can also volunteer, which I plan to do more of when I get back home. Volunteering will give me a chance to interact with more people without a certain time commitment.
As you can see, I have a lot on my mind. How do people make it without physical human contact? I kind of feel like I felt those first few months after the COVID-19 lockdown except my children were home with me then. This time I’m all alone. Am I becoming a recluse?
Perhaps I’m just homesick.
I’m going to go ahead and end here. I’m finally sleepy. I would attempt to review and revise but it probably won’t do any good. Too tired. I just needed to talk. Thanks for reading/listening. Enjoy your day.
Shaun
It’s Shaun’s World 
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