A few days ago, I decided to check my website (TheResearchDiva-RD.com) to see if I was ready to pick up where I left off two years ago. As I wrote in my most recent version of Hello Sunday, two years ago I allowed one bad experience to discourage me from moving forward.
Story time… and as always, full transparency.
So, not even six months prior (October 21, 2017, to be exact) to my botched presentation, I introduced my new business to the WORLD!! Well.. not to the world, but to fellow registered dietitian nutritionists (RDN) at our annual conference (FNCE). That year was special because our association was celebrating its centennial. It was also special because I got to celebrate it with my best friend, Shawn. Needless to say, I was HYPED! New business.. 100th year celebration.. and hanging with my best friend.. PRICELESS! Oh! And not to mention, the night before I got to see the premiere of Tyler Perry’s Boo 2! A Madea Halloween. Bae-bé… you couldn’t tell me nothing! I was on cloud 9! That first day, I handed out my fancy business cards like I was a celebrity. Y’all, I was happy.
Then April 2018 happened, and it all went down hill from there. After that presentation, I began second guessing my worth, my credibility. Then July came. After celebrating my birthday with friends, I decided to apply to a doctoral program. I was eager to– 1) enhance my career and 2) prove my credibility. I felt like it was something I had to do. Was my heart in it? Honestly.. no. Recently, my sister and I had a conversation about my decision to pursue my doctorate. She said that she wondered if my failed experience led me to the doctoral program. The answer was “Yes.” Y’all, I could not lie. How could I? She already knew. Transparency.
I have written all of this to say, my two year hiatus (I like to refer to it as my sabbatical) was much needed. I can truly say I needed that time to make mistakes, expand my knowledge, and rebuild my confidence. I cannot say that I am fully where I want to be, HOWEVER, I am back on track.
Right now, I am sitting here smiling as I think about how God works. He actually builds us through adversity. I have already noticed that I am a much stronger person than I was two years ago– mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, intellectually and somewhat physically (work in progress- lol). Y’all, it was worth it.
Now, on to moving forward. Please check out my blog below, Pursuing My Purpose. I wrote it on this day, two years ago. It is the last blog I wrote under A Research Diva’s Journey. Destination– The United Nations.
I used to believe we chose our purpose. However, I have finally realized our purpose chooses us. Today I embark on a journey to fulfill my purpose– …
Nonchalant’s 5 O’clock is ringing in my head. Yes, I took it ALL the way back!
It’s 5 o’clock in the morning and I’m up thinking about all of these senseless shootings. I heard someone say we have two wars going on in Black communities. And they are absolutely right! If our people aren’t dying by the hands of those who are supposed to protect us, then they’re dying by the ones that are supposed to love us. When and where does it end? Thinking about all of the babies and bystanders who have been killed by arrogant idiots all because their feelings were hurt. Y’all, get out of your feelings and take a timeout!!
Unfortunately, the only way I believe this will end is when those behind the destruction decide enough is enough. When their “so called” leaders are man enough to put an end to this mess. Honestly, community leaders and celebrities can talk until they are almost dead and nothing will change. Change has to come from within.
Now the babies… I still believe there is hope for the babies. That is, if they live long enough to experience it. Y’all, I will never give up on the babies.
BLACK KINGS, please understand, we ARE an endangered species. We need YOU. Please, get yourself together!
Nonchalant:
5 o’clock in the morning. Where you gonna be?
(Outside on the corner)
You better get yourself together
While you’re wasting all your time
Right along with your mind
Lyrics of Nonchalant’s 5 O’clock Courtesy of Genius.com
Yes, it is Sunday again! Seems like time is passing at warp speed (Star Trek- lol). I would love for it to slow down a little. I need time to process a few things.
Woke up thinking about the turn of events over the past month or so– personally as well as professionally. Even though I have been blogging since 2018, it was not until May of this year that I was ready to share my blogs with the world. In May, I also started volunteering again. It had been ages since I last volunteered. And, when I woke up this morning, I logged onto my professional social media accounts and began updating them. Also, this morning, it finally dawned on me why I had neglected those accounts for so long. Y’all, I did not want to be that person anymore.
Okay… moment of full transparency.
It all began two years ago. Whew, I never thought I would talk about this. At the beginning of 2018, I was asked to do a presentation for an association that was having a conference in Mississippi. I was so honored and hyped about it. I was given a topic, asked to come up with a few objectives for continuing education credits, and told I would be working with a local chef on a menu and food demonstration. Y’all, it was like a dream come true! It was everything I imagined I would be doing at this point in my career. I was ready!
The first hit I took was when I found out the association I was presenting for was not a diverse association but a national, all-Black association. Some would say I should have been honored. However, it was like receiving a blow to the heart. You see, I was asked by a predominately (99%) white company to deliver the presentation.
Just to give you some background on my relationship with this company. For several years, I had been invited to attend their sponsored events. At that time, I knew the state and regional directors well enough to contact them personally whenever I needed a sponsor for one of my events, educational materials for health fairs, or incentives for community projects. So when asked to give this presentation, I automatically assumed it was because they valued our relationship, not because they needed a Black registered dietitian to present to an all Black audience. That stung!
The second thing that happened was they changed my entire presentation. I was initially told they wanted the session to be fun and interactive. Which was right up my alley. I hate boring presentations! Well, after submitting my presentation for review, it was returned to me butchered. Y’all, the entire flow was all wrong. They kept the objectives but added random information. Even the fonts were inconsistent. They also added pictures that did not go with the text. Now, I might write crazy things in my blogs, and make all kinds of grammatical errors, but when it comes to my professional work, it has to be almost perfect before I present it. Honestly, I felt like my work had been sabotaged. Y’all, I cried.
The third thing that happened, and what finally made me question if I even wanted to be in that space anymore, happened during the night of the event. As I said– FULL transparency. This was a month and a half before my hysterectomy. My cycle had just started. Which meant I was extra irritated, cramping like crazy, and blood was pouring out of me. I wore a navy blue suit, and put on an adult diaper lined with two overnight pads, to hide or prevent any accidents. Y’all, I did not want anything going wrong. Well, I arrived at the venue and EVERYTHING was white. I mean— EVERYTHING! The floors were white. The linens were white. And ALL of the chairs were white– white cushioned chairs, that is. Talk about anxiety!! All I could do was pray– “Lord, please don’t let me have an accident on all of this white.” I kept thinking, what would I do if I stained one of the chairs? I tried to remain calm, but I was all nerves. So when I got up to present, no matter how professional I tried to be, it did not happen. Here is how the night went.
When my audience arrived, they were tired from attending hours of educational sessions. I was later informed that they thought my presentation was supposed to be entertaining. HA…so did I! Y’all, they had access to an open bar, and boy did they drink. Some, a lot more than others. Needless to say, I was giving a presentation to a room full of tired, tipsy people. As I said, my presentation had been changed. What I did not mention is that I had only received the revisions a day or two before the event. Which was not ample time to thoroughly review the changes, so I felt unprepared. I also did not have a microphone so I had to walk the room so that everyone could hear me. Funny story- There was this elderly lady that kept yelling, “I can’t hear you!” The night was a mess. When I tell you this crowd asked questions I had “zero” answers to! LOL! Funny, but sooo not funny. Y’all, I felt like a failure. Most of the night I deferred the questions to our host, the one who revised the presentation. At one point I stopped presenting because a few people would not stop talking. Y’all, one thing I hate is rudeness. And when the entire audience can hear your conversation, you, my friend, are being rude. So I stood there and glared at them until they stopped talking. Was I unprofessional…HECK YES! Y’all, I was fed up, I was sick, and I felt humiliated. I felt like an imposter– WOW! I just pinpointed when I began feeling like an imposter.
After that night, I swore I would never attend another one of their company’s events. That was also the last time I really posted anything of worth on my professional pages. I went into my shell and never wanted to come out. Honestly, I had given up. I had lost my confidence. That was two years ago.
As I mentioned, May was my turning point. Slowly, I am regaining my confidence. Maybe I did need two years to Reflect, Regroup, Refocus, and Rebuild. I do believe I am wiser and better prepared to handle the unexpected. I am also working on the way I deal with my imperfections. Recently, I attended a Zoom call with a lot of unknown attendees. At first, I was not going to turn on the camera. You know, leave the nice, edited picture displayed. At the last minute I was like, why not! I did not have on makeup. I had on a t-shirt and my hair held back with a headband. And my lighting was bad. But, I decided to show the world me. Part of my personal and professional growth is about me becoming comfortable with my imperfections. Slowly, but surely, I am growing.
Y’all, I am so grateful God loves me. Moving forward.
I’m in my feelings right now. What do parents do when their children leave home? I thought I would be okay, but evidently I am not. I have always wanted my children to be independent. I do not believe in kids staying at home and leeching off their parents. I will help, but I refuse to be their caretaker for the rest of my life. Anyway.. I am not an empty nester just yet, but the time is quickly approaching. My son will be a junior in high school and he has already become so independent. Between spending time at his dad’s and with his cousins, he is only home a couple of weeks before he’s gone again. This time he was home for two days, now he’s off living his best life, again. Don’t worry, he’s not out hanging with a bunch of people. He’s hunkered down with family who are taking proper COVID-19 precautions. Anyway, here I am at home trying to adjust to being alone. I always said once my two left I would do this and do that. Well, I guess that was a lie. Did y’all hear Maury? I did! Lol. Maybe if I could travel freely, things would be different, but I’m not sure if they would. I am not going to complain too much. At least God has granted me a couple of more year to adjust. I guess I will consider this my transition period.
Anyhoo… just felt like sharing. Does anyone have any advice? Over the past month, I have signed up to volunteer for different events and serve on a couple of committees. So I will definitely be busy. I guess I’m missing him so badly because he just left a few hours ago. I am pretty sure I will be better tomorrow. Lol
Don’t feel like editing, so it is what it is. Thanks for reading.
Today I am choosing to be present. To actively live in each moment. That is what I did on my birthday; and honestly, that was one of the most peaceful days I have ever experienced in my life. No lie. No anticipations– just went with the flow. Y’all, I even worked on my birthday and did not feel the least bit of anxiety because I was not doing what I had planned. That day, I actually let go and allowed life to happen. And guess what– everything worked out perfectly. So today, with God’s help, I know I can do it again.
It is not even 6:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning and I am wide awake. Actually, I have been up for a couple of hours, now. Today I was supposed to go to Mobile to continue my birthday celebration with my sisters. They had a day full of wonderful COVID-19-safe events planned. Unfortunately, the celebration must be postponed.
You see.. yesterday I began feeling sick. More than likely it is sinus issues, but I do not want to chance it. The day before yesterday, Mississippi had a spike in new COVID-19 cases. Y’all, over a 1,000 new cases were reported in one day. Yesterday there were half as many. As much as I want to celebrate with my sisters, I have to stay safe and make sure they remain safe, also. Y’all, this virus is something serious!
Right now I am having an early morning jam session. Zhané’sVibeis currently playing.
Oh… before I go, we did decide to have a video call later today. So the celebration will continue, just not in person.
Yesterday was so AMAZING! I laughed.. and danced.. and sang.. and ate.. took selfies.. and danced some more. Yesterday I let loose! As the old people used to say, I cut a rug!! LOL! I had no worries or complaints, ONLY laughter and love. Yesterday, I was me– authentically ME!
Before I end, I have to give a shout out to my two. Y’all, I know I say it all of the time, but I truly have the BEST children in the world. They know me so well! They embrace my quirkiness, which allows me to be free. I am so blessed to have children who love ALL of me.
Here are a few pictures from yesterday. Y’all, they made me a selfie wall. Lol. For those who know me, know I am the worst photographer but I LOVE taking pictures, especially selfies.
My babies and I celebrating my 47th birthday. Selfies!
One day a princess was born. Her mother named her LaShaundrea. Today is LaShaundrea’s birthday. Now a queen; nevertheless, always a princess at heart.
My response to the UK’s #247Challenge #NationaWritingDay
Thanking God for allowing me to see another year of life. Y’all, I am three years shy of half a century. Yay!! Yeah, that is how I view 50. It is not half of 100 but half a century. That term just makes me feel regal. Hence, I am a queen! Lol.
So, every year I set a theme for my birthday year. Last year’s was “New Beginnings.” Over the past few days, I have been trying to come up with a theme for this year. I am stuck between “Just Be” and “Being Present.” Both are about being authentically true to myself. I am who I am and I need to fully embrace me. I need to embrace my thoughts, beliefs and decisions, even if they are unpopular with others. This year, I am giving myself permission to be a little selfish and a little less selfless. Do not get me wrong, this does not mean that I am going to be rude, or disrespectful, it just means I really need to put myself first.
Anyway, looking forward to another blessed year. Yes.. a very blessed year. God is good!
Please allow me to interrupt my usual “Hello Sunday” blog with a tribute to my father. I must say, it is truly an honor and blessing to spend Father’s Day with my dad. After suffering from two strokes over the past two years, I did not think he would still be with us. Y’all, God is so good!
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to get to know my father better. To get to know the man behind “Mr. Sutton.” For as far back as I can remember, all my dad has ever done is work. He was a teacher (now retired teacher), a truck driver, the snowball man, the fireworks man, the Valentine’s Day man, the tombstone man, and now the graveyard man. Yes.. my father has a tombstone and graveyard business. Y’all, he is always working.
On Father’s Day 2016, I interrupted his work schedule. That morning I informed him that I was going to work with him. He was not thrilled to hear it, but allowed me go anyway. Y’all, I was a grown woman going to work with my daddy. Lol! And you best believe he put me to work. He does not believe in people just sitting around talking and watching. If you are with him, you better be prepared to work or be prepared to leave.
Here is what I wrote and posted on Facebook the following year:
It’s amazing how you think you know someone, but in reality you only see what’s on the surface. Last Father’s Day, I discovered so much about my dad. After we made snowball juice and bagged ice, we had a long conversation about dreams and goals.
Throughout the years, we’ve had conversations about his childhood and people, but never about his dreams. After showing me the picture below (the prototype for his first snowball business), he tells me that he never thought he’d go to college. He stuttered constantly and had dyslexia (back then they didn’t know what it was). He was able to go to college on a track scholarship (yes- my daddy could run!). He said he studied so hard to make it through college; while selling snacks from his dorm room (what can I say, it’s in his blood 😁). One of his most prized possessions is his thesis. He said he worked his butt off to complete it.
Prototype for Sutton Rolling Store 1978. He said all he had was a bike and a dream. On that day, he also showed me the concept behind his tombstone/monument business.
He ended our conversation by telling me to go after what I want in life. He told me to never give up on my dreams no matter how impossible they may seem or who doubts me. He said people will laugh, but keep trusting God. It may take years, but it’ll come to pass. NEVER give up!
On that day, he gave me the boost I needed to pursue all of my dreams. So, if you see me reaching for other galaxies, you know where I got it from. Yes- I’m my father’s child. Happy Father’s Day, Alton Sutton!
Y’all, I love my Daddy! I cannot wait to spend today with him.
It’s Shaun’s World 
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