Life

This Death Thing Is Something Else!

Another day, another death. Saturday’s news caught me off guard. I knew it was coming but didn’t know when. Just as I arrived in town to celebrate my aunt’s 64th birthday, I received the text. My friend had passed. It’s still hard to believe she’s gone. But, this morning, as soon as I was coming to terms with her death, I received another text that one of my brother’s best friends had died.

You know, I really don’t know what’s happening with me and this death thing. I have never taken death this hard. I would cry after I heard the news then I would go on about my day. Something changed last year. Even before my brother’s death. I don’t know what happened, but it did. It all began around this same time last year. I know because I have been reading my Facebook memories. Ha! I refuse to read my journal entries. I don’t know if I really want to know what was going on. All I know is, something happened. From what I read, I was on this kick about living and pursuing my best life. Then this eerie feeling came over me and I couldn’t shake it for nothing. Days before my brother got sick– sometime around his birthday– I became anxious. Then the day before my brother was admitted to the hospital my mom told me that my uncle, who’s only a week or so younger than me, was sick. I remember weeping for him. Praying that God didn’t take him. Instead, He took my brother who had just celebrated his 46th birthday. I know it was his time to go, but it doesn’t make it any easier to process.

So here I am again, a year later, with people my age dying. Every time someone dies it makes me feel like I’m just wasting my life. Like time is just ticking away and I’m not accomplishing anything. I know things are happening, but they’re not happening fast enough. I need for this COVID thing to be over. I want to visit my sister. I want to travel. I have a world of things left to do.

Whew!! How did I go from being so strong over the years to being so emotional? Honestly, I’m really not feeling this “emotional” Shaun. Right now I need the Shaun who could bounce back from anything. Where you at, girl??

I don’t think my heart can take another loss.

Shaun

Life

Hello Sunday

Rest Well

Today’s Hello Sunday is dedicated to a beautiful soul.

The first time we met was almost 20 years ago. We connected instantly! I loved your spirit, your sense of humor, and your style. You were kind, caring, funny, and bossy, which kind of reminded me of myself– minus the sense of style. Lol. I knew we would be friends forever.

As we all know, life happens. Sometimes in our favor and sometimes not. I was supposed to visit you this year, but God had other plans. Although my heart is heavy right now, I refuse to do the “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve” thing with you because 1) you wouldn’t have it and 2) I am so grateful for the time we spent together.

Whew! There’s sooo much more I would love to say, but your privacy is my priority. Know that you were loved and will be missed. Prayers for your beautiful family. I can’t even imagine what they are feeling. I know you prepared them for this moment, but as you know, grief is a tricky thing. It surfaces when we least expect. Praying God gives your family peace. Although your love and presence cannot be replaced, we will make sure they are loved and cared for.

Rest well my Loving & Affectionate Sister-Friend.❤️

Shaun

Life

Missing Grandma Sarah

My love.❤️

Moments ago, my mom posted a picture on Facebook of her mom with the caption, “It’s been 23 years but it seems like yesterday. Thank God for memories.” Y’all, the tears are flowing! As my mom said, thank God for memories. I have so many fond memories of our time together. I still cannot believe she is gone. Y’all, I miss her so much.

Note: Sarah is pronounced Say-rah. Gotta say it with a Southern drawl. Respect!

Shaun

Life

5 O’clock in the Morning

WAKE UP!! We need you!

Nonchalant’s 5 O’clock is ringing in my head. Yes, I took it ALL the way back!

It’s 5 o’clock in the morning and I’m up thinking about all of these senseless shootings. I heard someone say we have two wars going on in Black communities. And they are absolutely right! If our people aren’t dying by the hands of those who are supposed to protect us, then they’re dying by the ones that are supposed to love us. When and where does it end? Thinking about all of the babies and bystanders who have been killed by arrogant idiots all because their feelings were hurt. Y’all, get out of your feelings and take a timeout!!

Unfortunately, the only way I believe this will end is when those behind the destruction decide enough is enough. When their “so called” leaders are man enough to put an end to this mess. Honestly, community leaders and celebrities can talk until they are almost dead and nothing will change. Change has to come from within.

Now the babies… I still believe there is hope for the babies. That is, if they live long enough to experience it. Y’all, I will never give up on the babies.

BLACK KINGS, please understand, we ARE an endangered species. We need YOU. Please, get yourself together!

Nonchalant:

5 o’clock in the morning. Where you gonna be?

(Outside on the corner)

You better get yourself together

While you’re wasting all your time

Right along with your mind

Lyrics of Nonchalant’s 5 O’clock Courtesy of Genius.com

Shaun